Nicholas had already crossed the stream while the other three were still on the opposite side. They reluctantly followed. For a few seconds a yearning for what he didn’t have inundated Zachary. But he pushed it aside. He just had to be satisfied with having a niece and two nephews. And staying out of Jordan’s way.
Chapter Three
Sore, Jordan slid to the ground back at the barn half an hour later, keeping her eye on her son to make sure he dismounted okay. He did, almost like a pro. She had to admit everything Nicholas did he did well. He was quick to pick up things. But usually they weren’t physical activities.
Jordan caught sight of Zachary taking a few extra moments to explain to her son how to take care of his horse after a ride. Nicholas absorbed what Zachary told him with his usual intense concentration. She knew that after this he wouldn’t have to be told again. Zachary patted him on the shoulder. The smile her son gave Zachary right before he strode away to tend to his gelding stirred doubts in her that she hadn’t made a good choice all those years ago.
That brief scene confirmed she had to tell Zachary about Nicholas soon. There was no way she could keep her secret if they were both living in such a small town. He was bound to find out some way or another. She still didn’t know how she would break the news. Tell Zachary first or Nicholas? She felt in over her head. But maybe this was one of the reasons she’d finally come home. She wanted Nicholas to be surrounded by family—even Zachary’s. It would be to her son’s benefit, and maybe for once, she wouldn’t feel so alone in this world. Yes, she’d always had the support of her mother, grandmother and sister, but long-distance support wasn’t the same as immediate face-to-face interactions. And yet, for years she’d lived far away from that support because of her feelings toward Zachary.
Could she really tell him? If she kept quiet, she wouldn’t have to see him. She could even leave Tallgrass. He never had to know. That idea suddenly appealed to her because every time she thought of telling him about Nicholas, her stomach coiled into a hard ball.
“Hi. Jana told me your son had his first riding lesson today.” A young woman with long, curly mahogany hair and soft, dark brown eyes stopped next to Jordan. “I’m Alexa Ferguson, Jana’s stepmom.”
Jordan shook the hand the twentysomething offered her. “Nice to meet you. My son enjoyed getting to know Jana and the others. He can be shy around new kids.”
“So can Jana, but this year she’s come a long way.”
“How so?”
“The best thing my husband did for Jana was take her out of school and teach her at home. She’d developed separation anxiety when her mother divorced Ian and left. She was afraid she was going to lose him, too. She needed that time with her father. I don’t advocate that for every child because a school placement is right for a lot of them, but some need something else. Jana was one of those.”
“So you think homeschooling is a good option for some?” Is that what Nicholas needs?
“Jana has blossomed since she’s been at home. When I’m not taking classes, I help Ian teach her. This past couple of weeks, I haven’t had a chance as much since I’m doing my student teaching, and to tell you the truth, I miss working with her.”
“So it’s been a positive experience?”
“It’s been great. I’m finishing my elementary education degree, so it’s a good experience for me. She’s bright, and we’ve had so much fun.” Alexa hiked her large purse up on her shoulder.
“But you know what you’re doing.” She didn’t know the first thing about homeschooling. What if homeschooling was the answer if Nicholas continued to have problems at school? She’d never studied to be a teacher like Alexa. How could she teach her child with his high IQ? But she should check into it.
“The beauty of being part of the Helping Hands Homeschooling group is you have support from other parents who are doing the same thing and have probably gone through the same problems. Most of them don’t have formal educational training.”
“Zachary mentioned something about being involved with the organization.”
“Are you thinking of homeschooling your son?”
Jordan searched the area and found Nicholas talking with Randy, both boys relaxed, grinning. “I never thought about that option for him until now.” She didn’t know what to do. Going up to the school, talking with the teacher and principal really hadn’t taken care of what Nicholas had needed at his last school.
“Why don’t you come to an HHH meeting this week and talk with others who’ve been involved a long time. I’ve only been doing it since January.”
Jana ran up to Alexa. “Can Ashley come home with us today?”
“Sure. Your dad is working on the bench for your room so he’ll be busy in the garage.” After Jana whirled around and raced to her friend, Alexa returned her attention to Jordan. “I hope I’ll see you Wednesday night. I’ll introduce you to some of the others.” She rummaged in her big purse, pulled out a pad of paper and wrote an address down on it. “This is where we have our meetings.”
Jordan stuffed the note into her jeans pocket. She just might take Alexa up on her offer, especially if her son continued to have social problems. Yesterday morning, his second Friday, he hadn’t wanted to go because of a stomachache, but today he’d had a great time interacting with the kids at the ranch.
After Alexa gathered Jana and Ashley to leave, Jordan called out for Nicholas to get into the car. Then she crossed to where Zachary stood by the corral with the horse that had been frightened earlier. He glanced at her when she came up to the railing next to him.
At the stream after he’d stomped off, they hadn’t said a word to each other, but she needed to thank him at least. Soon enough their rocky relationship could be even rockier if she told him about Nicholas. “Thanks for letting us stay and for giving Nicholas a riding lesson.”
“No problem.” He kept his arms resting on a slat of the fence, his gaze trained on the horse in the paddock. “Even though I don’t have any children, I love having them here at the ranch.”
Ouch! The jab at her earlier statement scored a direct hit, especially when he did have a child although he didn’t know it. “I’m sorry I said that. It’s obvious children respond to you. The kids enjoyed the ride today, especially Nicholas.”
“And that’s why he’s welcome to come out here and ride. He doesn’t have to be part of the homeschooling group for him to be included. I saw how much he enjoyed it.” His tightly clasped hands attested to how much that invitation had cost him.
“Can I get back to you on that?”
“Sure. I’m here most days.” He shoved himself away from the railing and turned toward her. “For the lessons you can just leave Nicholas and come back in an hour. Most parents don’t stay.”
There had been a time they had spent every possible moment together. Now it was obvious he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Which was the way she wanted it. What would he do when or if he discovered Nicholas was his son? For a few seconds she considered telling him and just getting it over with. The words were on the tip of her tongue. But she peered to her left and saw her son making a beeline for them. She didn’t want everything to change with that revelation. She needed to do some thinking, praying.
“Thanks for the riding lesson. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.”
If she had been thinking of refusing Zachary’s invitation, her son’s declaration stopped that.
“You’re welcome to come anytime.”
“Really? Great!” Nicholas beamed. “Mom, can I come next Saturday? The others will.”
“We’ll