But no, she’d chosen to come here. Because she’d known Liam would be here and she’d wanted to see him and be close to him again. Now she had to find the courage to tell him that he was going to be a father.
Swallowing the ball of emotion lodged in her throat, she turned to her left and entered stall number thirty where Blue Snow, one of her prize mares, was housed.
A slight grimace tightened Clayton’s features as he looked around at her. “Sorry, Kitty. You’d think by now she would let someone else put these things on her. But the more I tried the more worked up she was getting.”
“The last thing I want is for her to get hot and unsettled. So when she acts this way, just let her be and don’t worry about it,” Kitty instructed her assistant. “The time to start worrying is when she won’t let me put them on.”
Kitty took the pair of blinkers from him, but instead of rushing at the mare with the piece of equipment, she simply began to stroke her neck and face and talk to her in gentle, soothing tones.
“Is anything wrong, Kitty?”
Not bothering to look at him, she said, “Blue Snow is a bit high-strung. Especially when you’re dealing with her head. And I don’t have to tell you how important this filly is to me—to Desert End.”
“I know all of that. I’m not talking about Snow. I’m talking about you. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
Liam was hardly a ghost. But he’d definitely haunted her thoughts for the past six months, Kitty thought. Ever since she’d gone to bed with him and a baby had been conceived.
“I’m fine, Clayton. I was just hurrying down the shed row and got a little winded, that’s all,” she explained.
The young man, who’d worked as Willard’s main assistant for the past year, cleared his throat. “Well—uh, I noticed you were talking with Liam Donovan. Is he causing you problems?”
Kitty inwardly groaned. Liam had certainly given her a problem, all right. Just not the sort that Clayton thought. But she wasn’t about to explain any of this to her assistant. At least, not yet.
Certainly everyone could clearly see she was pregnant. But no one knew who the father was or the circumstances surrounding her condition. And so far her family and friends had respected her privacy and stopped just short of pressing her for the father’s identity. She realized that eventually questions would have to be answered; especially to the few family members she had left. But first there was Liam to deal with and she had no idea how he was going to react to her and this news. The mere thought of confronting him left her ill.
“Why would you think he’d be a problem? His horses are stabled on the opposite end of this barn. He’ll be coming and going around here just like we will.”
The grimace on Clayton’s face deepened. “That’s exactly why he might be causing a problem. He’s damned picky and yells at his hands like they were slaves.”
She bit back a sigh. “He wants the best care for his horses and demands they get it. That’s all. No one is being forced to work for him.”
Clayton snorted. “He has the attitude that his runners are royalty and the rest of us deal in cheap claimers.”
Kitty stiffened. She liked Clayton and admired his work even more. She could always depend on him to keep things going whenever she wasn’t physically able to keep up. Still, she wasn’t going to stand by and let him badmouth Liam.
“That’s not true,” she said bluntly. “I should know. Liam is an old friend of the family. Weren’t you aware?”
The man’s face turned red. “Oh. No—I didn’t. I mean, I wasn’t aware of that.”
“He and my father were very close for many years.” She didn’t add that she and Liam had been even closer. Clayton and everyone else would learn that soon enough, she thought.
“Hmm. That’s surprising,” he remarked. “I’ve heard that Donovan can be a real hard-nosed bastard at times.”
“You hear all sorts of things in this business. I wouldn’t put too much stock in it. Success breeds jealousy.”
Turning back to the mare, she focused her attention on slipping the blinkers onto Blue Snow’s head. Thankfully the animal behaved and stood quietly while Kitty adjusted and buckled the equipment.
“That’s true,” Clayton agreed. “But frankly, I’m surprised your dad saw that much in the guy. They’re two different types of men.”
No, Kitty thought, Liam was very much like her late father. Maybe that’s why she’d gravitated toward the man in the first place. It was often said that women unconsciously sought out a man with a personality like their father’s. But on the other hand, it was because Liam was so strong-minded, so driven like Will, that she was now filled with angst.
When Will and Kitty’s mother, Francine, had divorced, he’d fought fiercely for the custody of his six-year-old daughter and eventually won. She didn’t want to think that Liam might do the same with this child. She wanted to believe he was a fair and compassionate man. But this was an entirely different situation. She wasn’t Liam’s wife. Still, with every fiber of her being she longed to be a hands-on, dedicated mother to her baby.
Deciding she’d already discussed Liam enough with her assistant, she abruptly changed the subject and did her best to push the man from her mind.
“Who’s scheduled to work Snow this morning? Abby or Rodrigo?”
“Abby.”
Kitty said, “Tell her four furlongs, no more. And just because she’s wearing blinkers doesn’t mean I want her pushed. I only want to see if they’ll help keep her mind on her business.”
“You going to watch from the stands?”
She glanced at the watch on her wrist. She’d arrived here at the barn this morning shortly before five and it was now nearly eight. By the time she met Liam tonight, she’d be exhausted. But that might be a good thing, she thought dismally. Maybe she’d be so tired she wouldn’t care what sort of storm he threw at her.
“I’ll be there in five minutes,” she told Clayton, then hurried down the shed row to the nearest bathroom.
That evening Liam didn’t bother wasting time driving to his summer house to shower and change before he picked up Kitty. In a small office, on his end of the barn, he kept extra clothing and fortunately the bathroom was fitted with a tiny shower, so he made quick use of the facilities before heading down the huge barn to find her.
The day had been an extremely busy one with hardly a moment to draw a good breath. Even so, Kitty had monopolized his thoughts. Asking him to have dinner with her tonight had certainly come out of left field. She’d never made such an overture with him before. True, he’d more or less offered her a shoulder to lean on, but he’d not expected her to take him up on it.
And he could only wonder why she hadn’t reached out to him before now. She obviously wanted to talk with him about something, but what? Her father’s death and the responsibilities he’d left on her shoulders? The horses in her barn? The baby?
The baby. Ah, yes, he’d thought about the coming child all day, too. About who might be the daddy and what she planned to do once it was born. If he was the father, what would she expect or want from him? Money? Marriage? Nothing? And if he wasn’t the father? Well, that notion bothered the hell out of him, too. Making love to the woman that one memorable time didn’t give him the right to feel possessive of her or the baby. But he did. And that made him feel like a fool just asking to be hurt.
When