There was no point in discussing this. They were completely different people and he wasn’t here to make friends or make her feel good by opening up and spilling his emotions about the big, bad, scary things he carried in his mind.
The house tour was a safe subject, though he was a fool for starting in the bedroom. Unfortunately, that was the only area he’d completed.
He’d taken part of the wall in the hallway out to make room for the double doors leading to the suite. This house would be revamped from top to bottom, inside and out, but he still wanted to keep the charm of the ’40s, when it had been built. No expense would be spared and he would put in high-end everything, but doing it himself was imperative. Hayes needed to stay busy, needed to be working with his hands. Idle time would only feed the devil that threatened him daily.
Hayes reached for the doorknobs and eased the doors wide open. Alexa’s gasp behind him was all the validation he needed. Even his brothers hadn’t seen the completed room yet.
“This is...” Alexa moved past him, her gaze traveling all around the room. “It’s breathtaking and so perfect for an old farmhouse.”
She crossed the wide-planked wood floor and stopped at the edge of the gray rug. Hayes moved on into the room, shoving his hands in his pockets and waiting for her to finish assessing.
Her bare feet padded over the rug and to the end of his king-size bed. “That wall of old boards is amazing.”
“Those are from the original flooring that was in here. I’m reusing as much as I can to keep the place authentic, but still adding in the best fixtures and modern amenities like heated floors, lights and blinds on timers, security with motion cameras. There’s so much to do in each room, it will definitely take some time.”
Family and heritage meant something to him. Actually, it meant everything because at the end of the day, that was the only thing keeping him sane. After what happened overseas, if he hadn’t had a sanctuary like Pebblebrook to come home to, Hayes knew he would’ve lost his mind.
Alexa took her time going between the built-ins he’d refinished, to the fireplace with original detailing and scrollwork extending up to the ceiling, and the wide window with custom-built seating and storage beneath. The crown molding had been refinished and he’d also kept the ceiling medallion and painted it white to match the rest of the clean lines.
After several moments in silence, Alexa turned to face him. “This is so impressive. All the detail, all the original touches that make this still feel like a farmhouse, but more up-to-date. The colors aren’t what I’d have expected you to choose.”
Intrigued that she’d given this any thought, Hayes hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “And what did you think I’d do in here? Black like my soul?”
She tipped up a corner of her mouth and lifted her brows in silent agreement. “Or maybe a little happier, like charcoal to match your eyes.”
Before he could question her on her reasoning, Alexa spun in another circle. She froze when she spotted the pocket door across the room. “The bathroom is in here?”
Taking off without waiting for his answer, Alexa slid the door open and gasped another surprise. “Hayes, oh my word. It’s gorgeous.”
He stayed back, though he knew she found the soaker tub on the far wall when he heard her delight. He’d purposely placed it right in front of the wide window. Not that he took baths, but it would make for a relaxing spot at the end of the day.
The oversize shower, big enough for four people, at least, caught her eye next. There was the pale gray tile on the floor, the original sinks he’d revamped by putting them in the old dressers from the spare bedrooms. They were mismatched, but painted the same crisp white. Still the farmhouse vibe with a touch of flair.
“Expecting company?” she asked, pointing to the shower.
He met her sly grin with a shrug. “You never know.”
“I’d probably never get out of that tub if this were my bedroom.”
“I’m not much of a bath taker unless I need to work out my muscles after a hard day, but a bathroom like this calls for a giant tub.”
Her smile transformed into something soft, sweet. “Mason loves baths.”
Mason? Hayes crossed his arms over his chest.
“Your boyfriend takes baths?”
Alexa’s soft laugh filled the spacious room. “Mason is my son. He’s fourteen months old.”
She pulled her cell from her pocket and swiped the screen. “He’s all boy,” she beamed, showing him an image of a little guy with her dark eyes and olive skin tone. He sat in the middle of a pile of dirt wearing nothing but a diaper and boots. “He loves playing outside and getting messy, so bath time is just another adventure.”
Alexa went on and on, flipping from one image to another. Her entire demeanor had changed and she was positively beaming as she talked about her son.
Her son.
Hayes hadn’t seen that coming. That would explain her questions and trying to dig into his world. She was a nurturer by default and thought she could legitimately help him.
That was a big hell no and now that he knew the status of her personal life, that definitely changed the dynamic. This was the first he’d heard mention of a child...and most likely why she’d worried about her cell phone earlier.
Alexa being a single mother was a complete game-changer. That was reason alone for him to keep his hands to himself, but add her motherhood to his screwed-up life... Yeah. He needed to run fast and far, but he was stuck right here with temptation personified for the time being.
The last thing he needed was to get involved, on any level, with a woman with a child. He was messed up enough as it was, but to put any of his darkness onto an innocent child? No. Hell no.
“You’re holding up remarkably well for someone who is stranded away from her son.”
Moisture gathered in her eyes as she dropped the phone to her side. Apparently he’d said the wrong thing. He wasn’t exactly known for his people skills. Which was just one of the many reasons he kept to himself.
“This is my first time away from him,” she admitted, tipping her chin up and blinking back tears. “My friend Sadie forced me to take a solitary vacation. She’s the one who booked my long weekend at the B and B and she’s babysitting. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Hayes didn’t have friends like that. He had his brothers. That was all the support he needed. Friends, and fiancées, weren’t reliable. At one time, he’d believed those in his inner circle were everything to him, but now he knew better. His eyes had definitely been opened, his heart hardened.
Maybe he shouldn’t have been so gruff with Alexa earlier. She obviously missed her child and now she was trapped with a virtual stranger.
“Two of my brothers have kids,” he found himself saying. “They’re interesting. I don’t know much about them other than they play and make a mess.”
Alexa smiled. “That sums it up. Being a mother is the most important job I’ve ever had.”
Hayes nodded. What could he say? Being a parent was never going to be a job for him. Good for those people who wanted children and took the time to nurture them, but Hayes could barely care for his own peace of mind, let alone a child’s.
And he knew now that “Uncle Hayes” was around, Colt and Nolan would want him to be involved. Family was important to the Elliotts, but Hayes wasn’t so sure he was the best role model for his twin nieces and nephew. Dealing with babies wasn’t exactly something he was taught while he’d been jumping out of planes.
The rain continued to pelt down hard on the tin roof, which should have made for good sleeping