“Ride along?” She stared and then shook her head. “I don’t think you want to start that rumor.”
“It won’t start rumors.”
“It would, and you really don’t want your name linked to mine.”
He didn’t. She was right. He didn’t want his name linked to anyone else’s name because three years of Cindy had cured him of his dreams of getting married, having the picket fence and a few kids. He didn’t want a woman that would only be a replacement for what he’d lost years ago. Somewhere along the way Cindy had figured that out.
The baby was crying. “I can’t go, Jay. Corry is strung out and I can’t leave the baby here.”
“Bring the baby.”
Her eyes widened. For a long moment she stood there, staring at him, staring at the door. Finally she nodded.
“I will go.” She hurried into the kitchen and came back with a diaper bag and the baby still held against her shoulder. “But I have to change clothes first. I smell like a cheeseburger.”
“Okay.” He didn’t expect her to shove the baby into his arms, but she did. The wiggling infant fit into the crook of his elbow, her hands grasping at the air. “Umm, Lacey, the baby…”
She had already reached the bedroom door. “What?”
How did he admit to this? Honesty seemed to be the answer, but he knew he wouldn’t get sympathy. “I’ve never held a baby.”
“You’ve never held a baby. Isn’t your dad an OB-GYN? And you’ve never held a baby?”
“Never.” He swallowed a little because his heart was doing a funny dance as he held this baby and he couldn’t stop looking at Lacey Gould. And she had the nerve to laugh at him.
“Sit down before you drop her. You look a little pale.”
He sat down, still clutching the tiny little girl in his arms. He smiled down at her, and man if she didn’t smile back, her grin half-tilted and making her nose scrunch.
“Now aren’t you something else.” He leaned, talking softly, and she smiled again. “You’re a little charmer. I think I’d just about buy you a pony.”
“She wants a bay.” Lacey was back, still smiling. She had changed into jeans and a peasant top that flowed out over the top of her jeans. Her hair spiked around her face and she had wiped away the smudged liner.
“Ready to go?” He handed the baby over, still unsure with her in his arms. And as he looked at Lacey Gould, she was one more thing that he was suddenly unsure about.
“I’m ready to go.”
He held the door and let Lacey walk out first, because he was afraid to walk out next to her, afraid of what it might feel like to be close to her when she smelled like lavender.
* * *
Lacey leaned close to the window, trying not to look like an overanxious puppy leaning out the truck as they drove onto the rodeo grounds. Stock trailers were parked along the back section and cars were parked in the field next to the arena.
She had been before, more times than she could count, but never like this, in a truck with a stock trailer hooked to the back and a cowboy sitting in the seat next to her. Riding with Bailey and Cody didn’t count, not this way. If other girls dreamed of fairy-tale dances and diamonds, Lacey dreamed of this, of boots and cowboys and horses.
Not so much the cowboys these days, but still…
“Don’t fall out.” Jay smiled as he said it, white teeth flashing in a suntanned face. His hat was on the seat next to him and his dark hair that brushed his collar showed the ring where the hat had been.
She shifted in the seat and leaned back. “I guess you’re not at all excited?”
“Of course I am. I’ve been living in the city for eight years. Longer if you count college. It’s good to be home full-time.”
“What events are you in?”
“A little of everything. I mainly team rope. But every now and then I ride a bull.”
“I want to ride a bull.” She hadn’t meant to sound like a silly girl, but his eyes widened and he shook his head.
“Maybe you could try barrel racing?” He made the suggestion without looking at her.
“Okay.”
Anything. It was all a part of the dream package she’d created for herself. She wanted this life, with these people. For a long time she’d wanted love and acceptance.
She’d found those things in Gibson. Now she wanted horses and a farm of her own. Jay wouldn’t understand that dream; he’d always had those things.
“Lacey, we’re not that different. This has been my life, but I came home to reclaim what I left behind.”
“And it cost you?”
“It cost me.” He slowed, and then eased back into a space next to another truck and trailer.
“Are you team roping tonight?” She looked back, at the pricked ears of the horse in the trailer.
“Yeah, and I think I have to ride a bull. Cody signed me up. He says he needs a little competition from time to time.”
“Because Bailey is keeping him close to home.” She bit down on her bottom lip and looked out the window.
The truck stopped, the trailer squeaking behind it, coming to a halt. The horse whinnied and other horses answered. From the pens behind the arena, cattle mooed, restless from being corralled for so long.
Lacey breathed deep, loving it all. And the man next to her…she glanced in his direction. He was a surprise. He had invited her.
And she had to process that information.
Time to come back to earth, and to remember what it felt like to be hurt, to have her trust stomped on. Lacey unbuckled the baby and pulled her out of the seat, a good distraction because Rachel’s eyes were open and she smiled that baby half-smile. Drool trickled down her baby chin.
“Do you think Corry will stay?” Jay had unbuckled his seat belt and he pulled the keys from the ignition of the truck.
The question was one that Lacey had considered, but didn’t want to. It made her heart ache to think of Corry leaving, not knowing where she would take the baby. Lacey shrugged and pulled Rachel, cooing and soft, close to her.
“I really don’t know. I don’t want to think about that.” She kissed the baby’s cheek. “But I guess I should.”
“Maybe she’ll stay.”
“She won’t. She’s restless. She’s always been restless.”
“I understand restless.” He stepped out of the truck. Lacey, baby in her arms and diaper bag over her shoulder, followed. She met up with him at the back of the trailer. The small glimpse into his life intrigued her. He’d never been open.
“You don’t seem restless.” She stood back as he opened the trailer and led the horse out. Not his horse, he’d explained, but one he was training. The animal was huge, with a golden-brown coat that glistened.
He glanced at her, shrugging and then went back to the horse. He pulled a saddle out of the tack compartment of the trailer. Expertly tooled and polished, the leather practically glowed in the early evening light.
The lights of the arena came on and Lacey knew that the bleachers would be filling up. But she couldn’t walk away because Jay had stories, just like everyone else.
“How could you be restless?” She pushed, forgetting for a moment that he was little