How would she cope when Tyler started dating again?
“Are you all right, Brenna?” Élise stepped off the treadmill and looped a towel around her neck. “You’re very quiet.”
“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t fine, was she? She wasn’t fine at all. Not wanting to draw attention to the way she was feeling, she tried to change the subject. “Great news about the bookings, Kayla. Anything that guarantees the future of Snow Crystal is a reason to celebrate as far as I’m concerned. For a start, it means I keep my job.”
Which meant she’d carry on working with Tyler.
She’d witness every date. It would be like working on the gates at Disneyland, watching everyone else indulging in a once-in-a-lifetime experience while she was stuck as a spectator.
Élise wiped her forehead with the towel. “If you are fine then why are you looking sick?”
Brenna hit the pause button and breathed deeply. “It’s nothing.”
Élise exchanged looks with Kayla. “You will tell us what this nothing is and together we will solve it.”
“You can’t solve it.”
“I am very good with a knife. Is it a person? Give me a name. I will fillet them for you.”
Kayla winced, and Brenna stared at the machine in misery, unable to pretend any longer. They were her friends. The first close female friendships she’d had. She remembered how Kayla had confided in them after her first night with Jackson. “It’s Tyler.”
Élise’s eyes narrowed. “He has hurt you? I will definitely fillet him.”
“No, he hasn’t done anything.” Brenna stepped off the machine. “It’s me. And it’s complicated.” It was something she’d never talked about before. Not to anyone. She’d never been one to share her feelings about things. A lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed hard, knocked off balance by the sudden rush of emotion. It was because she was tired. The conversation with Tyler had unsettled her more than she’d wanted to admit. She hadn’t been able to shake it off, not even on the slopes, and that was unusual for her.
Kayla stepped off the machine, too. “How is it complicated?”
“I really—well, I like him.” She stumbled over the words and decided that for once she was going to tell the truth. “I love him.”
Élise raised her eyebrows. “You think this is news to us?”
They knew? “You suspected? How? Is it obvious? Oh, that’s terrible.”
Élise opened her mouth, but Kayla got there first.
“We had a suspicion,” she said tactfully. “Why is it complicated? What has changed?”
She wasn’t used to talking about her feelings for Tyler. “Jess wants him to start dating.”
Kayla put her phone down. “She told you that?”
“He told me that.”
“He talked to you about dating other women?” Élise scowled. “I’m going to fillet him and sauté him in hot oil. How can he be so insensitive?”
Their loyalty was touching, but she knew it wasn’t fair to let them blame Tyler. “It wasn’t insensitive. He was talking to me as a friend. He has no idea how I feel about him.”
Kayla gave her a long look. “Are you sure about that?”
“Of course!” But they knew, didn’t they? And if they knew then— “Do you think he’s guessed?”
“No, of course not,” Kayla soothed, “it’s only that we’ve known you a long time, and we think you’d be perfect together.”
“Tyler has known me a long time, too. He’s known me forever. He’s very good at reading my feelings. He did it the other night when Jackson asked me to take the high school class. He knew I’d hate it. That’s why he offered to step in.” Brenna lifted her hand to her mouth. “If he knew, that would be awful. I don’t want him feeling sorry for me. This is my problem, not his. I don’t want things to change.”
Élise glanced across with exasperation. “Merde, of course you want things to change! And for once instead of putting your head in the snow—”
“Sand,” Kayla murmured and earned herself a glare.
“Snow, sand, mud—whatever you do when you don’t want to face something. You could tell him the truth. You want to have sex with him. You want him to go from clothed to naked faster than his sports car goes from zero to sixty. You want him to be as in love with you as you are with him.”
“But that isn’t what would happen. That isn’t what he wants. If he found out, it would be hideously awkward.”
“Unless you’re wrong about the way he feels about you.”
“I’m not wrong. I know him as well as he knows me, and I know I’m not his type.” There were things that they didn’t understand. Things she’d never shared with anyone. “I think he’ll be dating Christy by next week.”
“Christy?” Kayla looked astonished at the suggestion. “No way. For a start, Tyler is a true outdoorsman, and Christy is most definitely an indoor girl. She’s worse than I am! If she breaks a nail, she needs therapy. She’d drive Tyler mad in under sixty seconds. You have totally got that wrong.”
“She’s the sort of girl he hung out with all the time on the ski circuit.”
“Maybe. But that was after the skiing had finished, and none of those relationships lasted.”
“He flirts with her all the time.”
“Tyler flirts with everyone under the age of fifty. It is how he communicates.”
“Not with me.”
Élise selected a pair of hand weights. “That is interesting, no? That tells you something.”
“Yes, it tells me he doesn’t see me that way. I’m someone to ski and climb trees with, not flirt with.”
Élise pushed the weights up from her shoulders. “Kayla is right. You two are perfect together.” The way she rolled her rs made her sound like a contented cat. “You may need to do something drastic and take control of the situation.”
“I’m already in control of the situation. I’m working very hard to make sure he doesn’t know how I feel.”
“Je ne comprends pas. This I don’t get.” Élise looked bemused. “Why would you not want him to know?”
“Because it would damage our friendship.”
Kayla leaned against the wall. “Perhaps it’s time to turn what you have into something more than friendship.”
Élise lowered the hand weights. “You should ask him straight-out and then there can be no mistake. With Sean, I made it clear I was interested.”
“It’s different.” Brenna reached for her water bottle. “You and Sean have crazy chemistry. You’ve always shared something special. I already know how Tyler feels, and it isn’t the same way I do,” she said quietly. “I’ve learned to live with that. I learned to live with all those photos and rumors when he was on the ski circuit. I suppose that’s one of the reasons the past year has been really special for me. With Jess living with him, the whole thing’s been easier. And because of work we’ve been spending more time together, and it’s been great.”
Élise looked perplexed. “So if you are really happy with the situation, then carry on.”
“That’s just it. I’ve been pretending that we can, but we can’t. It’s inevitable he is going to meet