“Me, too,” Madison said. “I want a boy to love me that much. He was always trying with her. He refused to let her go.”
“He really fought for her.”
“They were on their way to getting back together right before she … right before she went missing.”
“They broke up?”
“Yes, for a little while. I don’t like to talk about it,” Madison said, as if it were her own breakup.
The Bobbsey Twins went silent, then began chattering on about where they thought she was. I shut them out until Julia said the words I had also thought.
“You know, I think Dana knows more than she lets on.”
“Why do you say that?” asked Blake.
Julia nodded. “She’s been acting so freaky and everything. I just think she knows something. Remember the night of her meltdown?”
“Oh, yeah, when she said ‘You know’ to Max? I think that meant something.”
“Me, too.”
“Speaking of Dana,” said Madison, “what happened with you guys?”
“Yeah, we heard you screaming at each other.”
I was afraid they’d ask me that. “She just kind of freaked out.”
I didn’t want to give specifics.
“She said you just started randomly throwing things at her.”
“No.” My cheeks were getting hot. “She was hurling insults at me, and so then I took down all of Becca’s pictures and gave them to her.”
Gave was a bit of a stretch….
“I just didn’t want them up on my wall anymore. She’s the one that wants them up, and I just feel weird looking at her pictures all the time since I didn’t even know her. It makes me feel like I’m intruding on her space.”
Neither of them looked like they knew what to say.
Blake shrugged. “It was weird. It’s not a shrine, it’s a dorm room in a school.”
“That’s not quite fair….” said Julia slowly.
“Sure it is, it’s my side of the room now. She was being a bitch.”
Everyone looked shocked. Blake smiled and took a sip of her drink. The other two changed the subject, and said nothing more about Becca for the rest of the meal.
“Thank God you called. Seriously, I’ve been desperate,” Leah was saying into her end of the phone.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s Michael.”
Ah. Big surprise. Something was always happening with Michael. That’s another thing I wasn’t looking forward to at FSU—another four years of Ronnie-Sammi-esque drama. “What happened?”
“I am just so done with him. So done with him. He keeps acting superjealous, when I’m not even doing anything. I was with Emma yesterday and he got infuriated when I didn’t answer his texts. It’s so annoying.”
I really hoped she was finished with him. If this continued on into college, and I really was her roommate, I’d absolutely kill myself. Or them.
“Just let go of him, Leah, seriously. You guys have been beyond finished for like three years.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just mean, he’s done everything you hate. He’s read your texts, your Facebook messages, your emails, he’s followed you when you left your house … How have you stayed with him?”
“I don’t know. Because I love him? I really care about him. Ugh, I wish I could just let go, but it’s so hard. How’s your love life by the way?” she asked, brightening.
“Oh … um, nonexistent.”
“Really? There’s no one at all?”
“Really. Well. There’s this guy … but.” Suddenly everything about Becca seemed like it was difficult to explain. I couldn’t say that there was a missing girl and everyone misses her and it’s really screwing up my life without sounding like a total jackass. Or maybe just thinking it made me one. “He’s got a girlfriend.”
“Aw, that’s too bad. Does he love her?”
“Apparently.”
“Aw. I’m sorry, that sucks. Well, is there anyone else you like?”
“Nope. I don’t even really know anyone. Leah?” She was talking with the mouthpiece covered up.
“Can I call you back? Michael is here.”
“Not really, I have to turn my phone—”
“Love you!”
And she was gone. I looked at my phone. It was nine already anyway. I sighed and stood up to return my phone to its own little jail cell.
I walked up to see that Max was returning his phone. I took a deep breath and walked toward him. He spotted me as he handed his phone over.
He smiled, and I smiled back. More backflips.
I said hi, and he said hi, and that was it. I could do nothing more to prolong the moment. I walked up the stairs and away from him.
That was all I could have done. Max and I had barely spoken. And all I’d gotten were reasons to avoid him.
When I arrived at my room, my heart still in my throat, I found my door locked. I hoped that meant Dana wasn’t in the room. No such luck, however. She was there, looking as morbid as usual.
“Only five minutes after nine,” she said, looking at her alarm clock. “Hmm.”
“What?”
She sighed and set down her book. “Becca was never back this early. She used to stay out until the wee hours of the morning with Max.”
“What makes you think I was with Max?” I thought of our brief encounter.
She laughed, and it did not suit her. “I just meant that she was always with Max. But I guess you can see now how you misunderstood.”
I flushed pink. Dana stood and drifted into the bathroom. I wanted to smack her. My eyes scanned the wall of pictures, landing on one of Becca in a royal-blue shirt, her goldenblond hair in curls. She leaned back as Max kissed her. My heart fell.
I kicked off my shoes, and immediately stubbed my toe on that stupid Louis Vuitton suitcase. The pain that shot up my foot sent some kind of wave through me. I walked over to the bathroom and threw open the door. She had just tossed her shirt on the ground, and covered herself up as I walked in.
“I’ve had enough. You cannot talk to me like that and just expect me to take it. You don’t know me, you just hate me because you miss your fucking friend. And I have told you that I understand, and that I sympathize. But you are just—”
“Oh, shut up, you’re turning an ugly shade of red.”
She smiled smugly at me and rolled her eyes, and I almost lost it. I envisioned slapping her hard and tossing an easy, “Who’s red now, bitch?” over my shoulder as I left her to cry.
But instead I just steadied my breathing and stalked out.
chapter 11 becca
BECCA COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT Johnny. How was that possible? What was drawing her to him? At first he had seemed so predictable and uninteresting. But now he was intriguing and desirable.
It