But, oh, it was tempting. A hell of a lot more fun than trying to run her conflicted thoughts about Dad away.
But also way more dangerous. She wasn’t into danger. She was into finding a way to build some kind of stability in her life.
Ha. Ha.
Marc stood to her side, where she couldn’t really watch him stretch. Which was probably by design.
They stretched in silence, and it was hard work to maintain the silence. Just like she couldn’t stand his weird awkwardness, she was no good with his distancing silence.
She was no good with all of it. Maybe you’re just no good.
“Ready?” she asked, eager to run that asshole voice in her head to the ground.
* * *
TESS’S PONYTAIL BOUNCED. She bounced. Every spandex-clad inch of her. This was some circle of hell. Run with the hot woman in spandex who is your FTO and also going through emotional shit you want nothing to do with. Circle five? Had to be higher than that.
Once he’d tried to get ahead of her, but she’d taken it as a challenge and never let him pass.
So he had to run behind her on the narrow path and try to focus on trees and shit. They’d run down the waterfront and up the bluff, and Marc slowed as a familiar house came into view.
“Don’t tell me you’re running out of steam.”
He looked at the big fancy house along the bluff. He’d only been here once, and it had been a weird visit. Christmastime. Mom harassing Leah and him stepping in. One of those rare moments with Leah when he couldn’t hold on to his usual detachment. “That’s where my sister works.”
“Oh, yeah?” She stopped her running, bending to one side and then the other. Spandex. Ass. Breasts. Spandex. Fucking damn it.
“Are you going to stop by and say hi?” she asked, completely unfazed that he was dying.
Saying hi to Leah was the absolute last thing he wanted to do. Scratch that, the last thing he wanted to do was keep jogging with an erection because Tess’s ass in those spandex running pants was not fair.
Life was not fair.
“Yeah, um...” How did he phrase this so he made it clear that even if he did go say hi to Leah, he didn’t want Tess tagging along? Doing it alone was bad enough—adding this woman to the mix had disaster written all over it.
“I’ll go up to the top of the street, turn around. If you’re not done by then, I’m sure you’ll catch up or I’ll just see you later.”
“Yeah. Great.”
She bent backward, fingertips splayed across her back, then bent farther, giving him an ample look down her shirt.
Abruptly, he turned toward MC Restoration’s office. He wouldn’t go to the big house—not all sweaty and...other things he was denying.
He’d knock on Leah’s little workshop door, hope to God she wasn’t there, and be on his merry way. Far away from the sight of Tess in spandex.
He refused to look back at Tess as he strode through the backyard of MC. He was focused on his destination. On safety. He knocked, held his breath and hoped no one answered.
“Marc?” Leah’s eyes were wide as she opened the door. “Hey, is everything o—”
“Yeah, yeah, good. I was just out...running.” He gestured toward the ring of sweat around his shirt collar. “Passed by and thought I should say hi, I guess.”
Leah blinked at him, but then she smiled.
Which was conflicting. A part of him felt as though he should be making bigger strides in the big brother department. Trying to figure out some relationship they could have or maneuver that wouldn’t be all heavy with what came before.
But Leah had spent too long as the driving factor of his life. Spending days on end in hospital waiting rooms, scrimping so Mom and Dad could pay off her medical bills, listening to bickering and arguments, trying to tread the waters of his parents’ separation.
Then, when they got back together, doing everything in his power to be whatever they needed.
Most of that wasn’t Leah’s fault. Her health had been beyond her control, though her rebellious streak had landed her in the hospital more than necessary after her heart transplant. Which had also been the source of Mom and Dad’s discontent and...
This, this was why he didn’t seek out Leah. Even if she was the most wonderful person in the world, she made him think about things he’d much rather not think about.
“You sure everything is okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I was kind of trying to avoid a weird situation.”
“Weirder than this?”
“Ha. Maybe. I don’t know.” This was pretty weird, after all. He didn’t know much about how to start conversations with Leah. Conversations that wouldn’t irritate him or make him feel like crap, anyway.
“Well, come on in.” Leah moved out of the doorway and into her little shed of a work area. It was a mess. Tools and light fixtures and wires everywhere. Not much room to move around, either.
“What exactly were you avoiding?” she asked, picking up a few wires and studying them.
“Just avoiding someone, and there your place was. So I said I needed to come say hi to you.”
“Wow, you must have really wanted to avoid them. They trying to sell you something?”
“Oh, no, we live in the same apartment complex and were going for a run at the same time and she’s nice, really, I just...it was...I’m not good with small talk.”
Leah put the wires down, eyebrows raised. “She?”
Shit. “Well, yes. I work with her, actually. She’s my field training officer.” He didn’t like the way Leah was looking at him, all considering, and he really didn’t like the way he was fidgeting and the way his face was getting hot.
“What does field training officer mean?”
“Basically she’s observing while I learn the ropes of a new department.” Marc backed toward the door. Hopefully Tess would be out of sight by now and he could slip out and—
“Ah.”
He scowled. “What does that ah mean?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“Good.”
But then Leah grinned. “Must be a Santino trait.”
“What?”
“Lusting after the boss.”
“She’s not my boss.” Shit. “And I’m not lusting. Also, please don’t ever use that word in my presence again.”
Leah chuckled. “Fair enough.” She studied him for a second before returning to a workbench scattered with tools and debris and a bunch of things he wouldn’t even begin to know how to make sense of. “You can hide out here as long as you want.”
“Thanks.”
“And, you know, that’s an open invitation sort of thing. Not just for hiding out, either.”
“Thanks.” Even though he didn’t feel thankful. He felt guilty. Guilty for not being the kind of brother he should be. Guilty for moving here but not making any overtures toward Leah.
Guilty because even knowing he should make an effort—he didn’t want to. His hand grasped the doorknob. “I should head back.”
Leah’s smile was small, not much of a smile at all, really.