“Good Lord, Jess, it’s just an expression.”
She nodded. Of course. But with him being a Navy SEAL and better looking than any man had a right to be, she didn’t doubt him having a girl in every port.
“And don’t try changing the topic. If my ring’s lost—find it. Since you don’t want me, maybe I’ll give it to some other woman.”
Over my dead body. “Okay, but obviously I don’t have it with me now.”
“Fine. Just don’t forget.” He surveyed the mess, then sipped from his drink. “What do you need me to do?”
Leave! Unfortunately, if she wanted to finish this task by Christmas, she needed his help. “There’s a pile of plastic sacks over there on my file cabinet. Grab one and start picking up anything of value.”
* * *
GRADY WOULD BE damned if he’d let anyone at that school work harder than him. By the end of the day, he’d filled dozens of sacks with pencils and crayons and heartbreaking little school pics with scribbled notes on the backs.
The work was hot and dirty and he felt as though dust had settled into every pore.
Jessie’s shoulders sagged, and the ponytail that had earlier that day shone in the sun now hung limp and coated in the same gray dust covering their bodies and clothes.
If she were still his girl, once they got home he’d have carried her to their shower, then scrubbed her down till her skin shone pink. Then he’d run her a bath, squirting in a healthy amount of the strawberry bubbles she’d always loved. Next, he’d have settled in alongside her, kissing her till the sun went down and the water turned cold. He’d fix her a simple dinner. Maybe steaks on the grill. He’d rub her aching feet and make love to her before they spooned into sleep.
They’d have the best night, every night.
But all of that was just a dream. And even though he could have kept on working for another twelve hours, he knew she couldn’t, so he said, “How about we head back to your folks’? See what our moms cooked for dinner?”
She arched her head back, in the process showing him the mesmerizing curve of her neck. “Sounds like a plan.”
On their way to drop off the last of their day’s finds in the principal’s truck bed, she said, “Thank you.”
“You bet.”
“Considering we’re sharing the hall bathroom now, how about you shower first since you filled the most bags?”
“No way. I appreciate the offer, but ladies first. You look like hell.”
“You’re such a charmer.”
“I try.”
She cast him a go-to-hell glare. “Not hard enough.”
* * *
BACK AT HER parents’ house, standing beneath the shower’s warm stream, Jessie closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t Grady’s gorgeous profile her mind’s eye chose to see.
While sudsing her arms and legs and breasts, it was his hands she imagined stroking her. His ring dangled, teasing her with thoughts of what might’ve been.
Because thinking about him hurt, she hurried to finish scrubbing the last of the day’s grime from her hair, already dreading the task of doing the same thing all over again tomorrow.
Finished, she wrapped her hair turban-style with a towel, cinched her robe tight at the waist, then knocked on Grady’s bedroom door to tell him it was his turn in the bathroom.
His door wasn’t all the way latched, and it creaked open.
Nothing could’ve prepared her for the sight of him lying flat on the bed—naked, dirt smudged, but 100 percent glorious manly muscle. Though the proper thing to do would be to close his door, then dress herself for dinner; instead, she indulged in a long visual feast. He wasn’t body-builder bulked up, but his broad shoulders had definition. His biceps looked far too big for her to fit her hand around, and his six-pack abs and lower, well...
She closed his door, granting him privacy while she ducked into her own room.
Stretched across her bed, cheeks superheated, she remembered all too clearly the times they’d skinny-dipped in the creek, when he’d held her on hot summer days in the cool, clear water. She’d wrapped her legs around him and together, they’d discovered just how well their bodies fit together.
The first couple times had been awkward—lots of giggling and fumbling with condoms. After they’d gotten the hang of it, she’d tired of having anything between them. Unknown to him or her mom, she’d made an appointment with a Norman doctor to get on the pill. It was there she’d described how painful her monthly cycles had always been. When the medicine the doctor prescribed didn’t even dull her cramps, Dr. Laramie suggested Jessie undergo a laparoscopic exploratory procedure to check for potential causes of the pain. When Jessie’s mom wanted to know why she hadn’t told her about seeing a doctor, Jessie hadn’t exactly lied—she just hadn’t told the entire truth. When the doctor prescribed birth control pills as a way to regulate her periods and control pain, her mother hadn’t given it a second thought—or, if she had, she hadn’t mentioned it to her daughter.
When the diagnosis of endometriosis had finally come, and along with it, a speech on how she would most likely never conceive considering the severity of her condition, at first, Jessie hadn’t believed it. Then, when her mom had broached the topic one day at lunch, sharing her concerns, encouraging her to go on with her life and talking about how many alternatives there were to natural pregnancies, only then did it start to sink in that the doctor’s words had consequences.
In hindsight, she probably should’ve told Grady, but honestly? She couldn’t have handled his rejection had he said the wrong thing. She hadn’t been mature enough. She wasn’t sure she was now—not that it mattered, since she still had no intention of ever telling him the true reason she’d broken their engagement.
She couldn’t speak for his parents, but her own had been relieved when what they’d called her high school fling had cooled down. They’d dreamed of her completing college—not her dream, theirs. She’d been the dutiful daughter, and in the end had never regretted earning her degree. What had she regretted? Not being able to share her graduation with Grady. Or the high of getting her first job. Her first apartment. Her first legal beer. So many, many firsts that had been happy enough, but not nearly complete without him.
Since he’d gone, she’d felt as if her life had been lived with the sun filtered. And that had been hard, but by no means insurmountable. Way worse tragedies had been survived. Just like Rock Bluff would rebuild after the tornado, so would she.
Jessie blow-dried her hair, and when she heard the shower turn on wished her mind wasn’t flooded with images of Grady’s ripped, naked body.
She took extra care with her hair and makeup and instead of putting on yoga pants and a T-shirt, she chose a yellow sundress and sandals. Even though Grady had demanded she return his ring, it still hung safely hidden, where it would stay until she was good and ready to take it off. Maybe that day would come, maybe it wouldn’t. Who knew what the future held?
All she did know was that for now, that ring had become a symbol of the dreams she still had for her life, and a promise to never settle for anything less than the magic she and Grady had once shared.
* * *
GRADY LOOKED UP from his poolside lounge chair and had to remind himself to close his mouth. “You cleaned up all right.”
“There you go again with that charm.” Instead of smiling for him, Jessie scowled. He couldn’t say he blamed her. Out of all the things he could’ve said, why had that come out?
“Yeah, well...” He downed