* * *
JENNA WATCHED HER mother pour herself another glass of white wine. If she was counting correctly, it was her third, and that was on top of the cocktails her mom had insisted on before dinner. She hadn’t seen her mother drink quite like this since, well, since Dad’s affair came to light a few years ago. But she knew her mom drank when she was alone. Jenna got enough late-night drunken phone calls from her to know she was hitting the bottle solo on a fairly regular basis.
She looked down the gleaming mahogany table. Daniel, her older brother, was nodding off over his plate. He’d worked at the hospital last night and he was having coffee with his dinner instead of wine. Shelley, her older sister and a rising star at the San Francisco district attorney’s office, was speaking animatedly with her father about a high-profile case she was working on. Her father actually looked relaxed and happy as he listened, asking all kinds of questions about Shelley’s progress.
Jenna felt a pang of envy that was so old and familiar it was almost like a part of her body—an extra organ or limb. It had always been that way—Dad asking about Shelley’s day at school, buying her expensive gifts in honor of her perfect grades, crowing to their friends about her many accomplishments.
Jenna had worked hard in school, too, clocking far more hours in the library doing homework than Shelley ever did. Yet it never got easier. It was as if her brain had trouble translating the words in the textbook into coherent ideas. So she got Cs and Bs most of the time, and those hard-earned grades were a constant source of disappointment to her father.
Jenna knew now that she was full of imperfections he simply couldn’t understand. In his eyes, her dancing was an embarrassing hobby that stood in the way of real success. Her curvaceous figure and wild curly red hair held no beauty when contrasted with Shelley’s slender form and straight blond locks.
“Jenna!” Her father’s voice suddenly boomed down the table. “What were you doing today? Twirling around the ballroom?”
Jenna winced at the disdain in his voice. “Teaching, practicing, the usual.”
“And how’s John?”
“John?”
“You know, that musician you go out with?”
“Um...you mean Jeff?” Jenna shook her head in disbelief. She’d dated Jeff for two years, and her father had met him several times.
“Yeah. That’s right. Jeff. The drummer with the long hair. How’s that going for you?”
Jenna hated to give him any satisfaction, but she wasn’t going to lie. “We broke up.” Her brother and sister didn’t even bother to disguise their “I told you so” eye rolls.
“Well, good. You need to stop dating all these guys with no focus, no ambition. Shelley, Daniel, you must know some people from work Jenna could go out with. Or why don’t you let your mother help you find a decent boyfriend?”
Oh, like she found you? Jenna wanted to say but didn’t. A man who cheats on his wife?
Shelly cleared her throat. “Look, Jenna, I spoke with Ralph Clark yesterday.”
“Who?” Jenna turned to her older sister, who was smiling at her benevolently.
“Ralph Clark—a lawyer at my old firm? He told me that they need an administrative assistant. He’d like to interview you.”
Jenna stared at Shelley in disbelief. How was it possible they’d grown up in the same house, just a few years apart, and yet Shelley knew so little about her? She took a sip of her wine and suddenly felt sympathy for her mother. This family would drive anyone to drink eventually.
“Jenna? What do you think? Should I send you his email address tomorrow?”
She sighed. “Thanks for thinking of me, Shel, but I already have a job.”
“Oh, ballroom dancing? Jenna, that’s not a career—that’s a hobby.” Shelley was a perfect echo of their father.
“So why do I get paid, then?” Jenna tried to keep her voice calm, but she could hear the edge in it. “It’s not a hobby—it’s my career, and it has been for ten years now. And if you’d been paying attention, you’d know I am really good at it.”
Her father’s voice was softer than usual in attempted persuasiveness. “Jenna, Shelley is just trying to help you. Just go in for an interview. They’ll pay well. They have great benefits. You know your mom is so worried about you living in that tiny apartment. You could afford something better with a higher salary.”
“Dad, I like my apartment. I like my job. There’s nothing wrong with my life that you or Shelley or anyone needs to fix!”
“Honey, we just want you to be successful. Look at your sister. Did you know she’s considering a run for supervisor? She’ll be mayor of San Francisco one day—mark my words. And your brother here is so humble he wouldn’t mention it, but he’s just been promoted to head of surgery.”
“Congratulations, Daniel,” Jenna said to her brother, raising her glass slightly in his direction. He smiled at her sleepily. “Dad, I’m glad they’re doing so well. But I’m also successful.” She glanced around the table and saw the doubtful look on every face. “Look. I have a competition in two weeks. It’s a big one. If my partner and I win, we’ll be national champions for Latin dance—again. We won it the last two years, as well. Why don’t you come out and see for yourself?” She realized she sounded as if she was pleading with them. Pleading for attention and acceptance.
“I’ll be in Chicago for a conference,” Shelley said.
“Dancing’s not really my thing.” Daniel rubbed his eyes wearily. Her father didn’t answer at all, just poured himself another drink and looked down at the floor, as if his disappointment was so great he couldn’t even acknowledge her.
When would she learn? Jenna could have kicked herself for trying. She turned her focus to her mother. “So how are you, Mom? How’s your work going with the cotillion committee?”
Her mother took another swallow of wine, draining her glass. “Oh, you know...it’s fine...the usual...” Her voice trailed off and she didn’t seem to notice.
Well, at least the food was as delicious as always. A grilled salmon with a slightly brown buttery crust. All kinds of summer vegetables fresh from the farmers’ market, lightly sautéed. Their current chef was a really talented guy. Jenna’s thoughts immediately drifted to Sandro and the incredible meal he’d cooked at Samantha’s. And the bitter expression on his face when he’d found her dancing with Paul. He’d probably get along great with her family.
When her mother reached for the bottle to fill her glass again, Jenna couldn’t stand it any longer. Glancing down the table to make sure her father and sister were still engrossed in conversation, she put out her hand and stilled her mother’s. “Mom, I’m not trying to be rude, but it seems like you’re drinking a lot. And you’ve hardly touched your food. What’s going on?”
Her mother looked outraged, but under the indignant expression, Jenna noticed something else. A puffiness that no amount of expensive makeup could hide. This wasn’t the first night her mother had been hitting the bottle hard. Her heart sank.
“Jenna! What has come over you?” Her mother was going on defense. “We’re having a nice dinner and I’m having some wine. That’s all.”
“Mom, you’re having four glasses of wine. That’s an entire bottle. Plus you had a couple cocktails. I’m worried about you. Is something wrong? Between you and dad?”
“You’ve been counting my drinks? Jenna, I’m not a child. Why do you try to