Devon arched his eyebrow, a silly taunt on his face. “Were you worried?”
“Not one bit. I knew you were in good hands.” Clint gave him a thumbs-up. “Ashley can handle you.” More than a week had passed since the wedding, and while he’d missed seeing Devon at the fire station, he’d found Paula on his mind more than his good friend.
“You’re right, Ashley’s amazing.” Devon turned to face him. “In all seriousness, the longer I’ve known her the more I admire her and the more I love her.”
Clint’s chest tightened, picturing Paula and what he liked about her. He’d be happy to see the end of his worries about trusting again so he could take steps to form a friendship with her. After the incident with Elise, his motto had become “Get hurt once but not twice.”
“Seriously, though, the honeymoon was wonderful. I had never been on a cruise, and the Caribbean is beautiful—scenery and summer weather.” He took an imaginary key and locked his lips. “But enough yakking. I’ll have photos and you can see for yourself.”
“Can’t wait.”
Devon’s expression let Clint know he’d recognized his playful sarcasm. But for once, Devon was wrong. Clint had never cruised, either, and wouldn’t unless he had someone with him to share the experience. He really wanted to see the photos.
Devon’s locker door clanged shut, and Clint’s mind snapped back to his task. As he slipped into his work gear, he reflected on what he’d really wanted to know from Devon. Had he seen Paula since he’d been back or had Ashley said anything about Paula mentioning him?
Though he’d had a great time with her and thought she’d enjoyed his company, too, he’d hesitated asking to see her again. His hesitation made him want to kick himself. But Paula made him uncertain. She seemed to have built a wall and stepped behind it. If he moved too fast, he could easily find the barricade a permanent shield.
And then he posed a question to himself. What did he want from her? A relationship hadn’t been a priority for years. Involvement sometimes led to marriage, and he wasn’t positive he wanted to marry. At thirty-seven, he liked being stuck in his own ways, and marriage meant making changes, adjusting to someone else’s likes and dislikes.
Clint closed his locker and strode in for roll call before digesting and discussing the information passed on by the previous shift. Devon, the on-duty lieutenant, listed the tasks each of the crew would be responsible for, and when he finished, Clint headed into the equipment room to assess the gear he might need during the day.
As he checked off the equipment assigned to him, Devon appeared at his side. “We’re having a little party Friday night for the wedding attendants and a few others. All the women want to see our gifts and the photos, so we thought it would be fun. I hope you can come. We’ll have pizza. It’s casual.”
As if he’d been invited to an audience with Queen Elizabeth, Clint felt his pulse take off in a gallop. He monitored his zealous reactions. “Sounds great. I’ll be there.”
Devon squeezed his arm and moved on to his duties while Clint stood a moment to deal with the unbelievable reaction he’d experienced, particularly assuming Paula would be there. If he couldn’t control his emotions better than that he needed to go into hiding. He’d prided himself on being a staunch, capable firefighter who could handle a life-and-death job every day. Emotions were locked tight so his mind could make the quick decisions that each dire situation needed.
What had happened to that skill today?
He shook his head and turned his mind on the training session and the next tour of the firehouse he would lead. School would be out soon, and one of the treats for elementary children was visiting the fire station. This duty shone as one of his favorites. He’d always loved kids and, sometimes, never having children of his own hurt worse than the day his marriage plans died.
Though his heart had healed, he couldn’t help thinking about Elise. What had driven her away? What had changed her mind about their marriage?
Dumb questions, and what difference did the answers make? He needed closure, he sensed, like people did with a shocking death. Those who grieved always pondered what had happened or what they could have done to make a difference.
He had looked back on the situation and had come to the realization she’d fallen for someone else. Probably the jerk in her office she talked about so much. He’d been married, and at the time, he’d dismissed the possibility. But marriage didn’t mean as much to some people as it did to him. Vows were made and God blessed marriages. To him, marriage meant forever.
* * *
Paula crumpled into one of her uncle’s easy chairs and rubbed her temples. She’d had another job interview, which again left her with a hopeless feeling. Though she had the numerous skills they’d listed, she didn’t have experience with their software program. Then, another strike against her appeared to be her newness to the area. When they looked at her résumé, they noticed she hadn’t worked a few months before her mother died. She’d been her caregiver. Work had been impossible.
Most businesses looked for someone with stick-to-itiveness and experience, but if no one would give her a chance, how could she get the experience? Another one of these conundrums that made no sense but seemed to be prevalent in the world of business.
The back door opened, and Paula pulled up her shoulders. Though five foot nine, today she felt a lot shorter. She needed to lift her head and face her uncle with confidence. He always wanted details of her job hunt, and she wanted to sound positive even though she wasn’t.
Ashley swung around the archway, and when she saw Paula instead of her uncle, a grin flew to her face.
“Home from the hunt?” Ashley said.
“The fox found a hiding place today.”
“No luck?” Ashley sank onto the sofa. “You’ll find something. I’m confident. I’m keeping my eyes and ears open, and I’m sure something will come your way.”
Paula nodded, managing an upbeat expression. “I know. Job hunting takes time.”
The side door closed, and her uncle’s voice sailed into the room. “A job well done.”
She had no idea what he meant, but she hoped it had nothing to do with her employment status.
He ambled into the living room and stood near the archway. “Did she tell you?”
Paula looked at him and then turned back to Ashley, not sure who he meant.
“Dad, you’re more excited than I am.” She grinned at Paula. “I decided to sell my house. Dad helped me make sense out of what I really knew was best but what was hard for me to do.”
“Selling the house.” Paula nodded, understanding her quandary. “I know it holds lots of memories, Ash. Good memories.” Her own mother’s home came to mind. That house held no memories she wanted to preserve. “But you’re making new memories now, and it’s best to let it go.”
“You’ve all made sense. I thought renting it would work, but then Dad reminded me of the difficulties in renting a residence—maintenance, repairs and bad tenants. It hardly seems worth it even though the house is only down the street and Devon would have helped, but—”
“It would be asking a lot of him to keep two houses in good order. When would you two have time for fun?” Paula looked past her uncle, noticing the two children were missing. “Where are Joey and Kaylee?”
“Neely wanted to take them to the park.” Her mouth curved to a full grin. “I’m so happy Neely’s expecting. She and Jon wanted a baby from day one, and now she’ll have her own little Joey or Kaylee to spoil.”
Though her cousins’ happiness made her smile, part of her envied Ashley and Devon’s big