She was a woman, not a girl. She was a devoted daughter. She was a mother. She was a professional with long-standing ties to the community, successfully crossing the threshold of a field most women were afraid to enter. That alone made her exceptional.
“You must be in terrible pain after moving around so much. Would you like a bit of medication now?”
Was that actual compassion he heard in her voice? He clenched his teeth together and met her gaze steadily. “No, thank you. I’ve seen too many people get addicted to it. I’ll just tough it out.”
“I’m only giving you small doses, and I don’t think you’re in jeopardy of addiction at this point. Toughing it out isn’t really a good idea.”
Somehow he managed a derisive smile. “A lot of things I’ve done haven’t been good ideas, but that never stopped me, did it?”
Rachel stared at him for several seconds then scooped up the laundry and left him without another word. Let him hurt. It wasn’t her problem. Except, of course, that it was. The very thought of the pain he must be suffering went against everything she stood for and left her feeling undeserving of her calling. Unfortunately, some people had to learn the hard way.
* * *
As planned, Rachel and Danny went to Caleb and Abby’s at midmorning so that Danny could play with the Gentry children and Rachel could help Mary, Caleb’s former mother-in-law, with the last-minute meal preparations, since Abby was still confined to bed.
Rachel made the visit double duty, examining mother and baby and concluding they were both fine, at which Abby declared she was able to get up long enough to eat her Christmas meal with the family. Like Gabe, she would not be deterred.
Abby loved the little signs Danny had made. Caleb tied the leather cords to the end of the crib while Danny watched with pride. The other children, too, were happy with their name signs, and Caleb promised to hang them at the heads of their beds before nightfall. Though he had no talent for building things from wood, he did dabble with whittling and had fashioned a stunning replica of a Colt pistol for his children to give to Danny. Each of them had taken turns putting a coat of shellac on it.
When the dishes were done, Rachel and Mary Emerson put the little ones down for naps. The men went to the parlor, where Rachel suspected there might be as much afternoon dozing as dominoes and conversation. The older children played with their new toys while Mary Emerson supervised, giving Rachel and Abby time for some uninterrupted “woman talk.”
Rachel cut two pieces of pumpkin pie, poured two mugs of coffee and went to Abby’s bedroom, to find her once again propped up in bed.
“Thank you,” she said, as Rachel handed her the pie and set the mug of coffee on a bedside table. “It’s been a lovely day, hasn’t it?”
“It has,” Rachel agreed. “And you got the best Christmas present of all, albeit a couple of days early.”
“I did, didn’t I?” Abby said with a smile, glancing at the baby all snug in his cradle. She took a bite of pie and washed it down with a sip of coffee.
“What does Caleb think of Eli now that he’s here and you’re both well?” Rachel asked.
Since Caleb’s first wife had died in childbirth the previous winter, Caleb had been terrified when Abby told him she was expecting his child.
“He’s beside himself with happiness—and pride,” she said with a satisfied grin.
“Well, his fear was certainly understandable,” Rachel said.
“I agree.”
“You’re happy, aren’t you, Abby?” Rachel asked, unaware of the wistful note in her voice.
“I am.” There was no denying her contentment. “I loved William, but what I felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for Caleb.”
“I’m really happy for you.”
Abby reached out a hand to her friend. “Don’t look so sad. There’s someone out there for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I know so.” Abby’s eyes brightened at a sudden thought. “What about Gabe?”
“What about Gabe?” she asked with a lift of her dark eyebrows.
“As a potential husband, goose! If you married him we’d be sisters-in-law.”
Rachel felt the color drain from her face, felt the stiffness in her cheeks as she forced a smile. “Thank you but no thank you,” she said. “Gabriel Gentry is not the marrying type.”
“You sound very sure of that.”
“Haven’t you heard the gossip?”
Abby nodded. “Caleb’s told me everything about Gabe, but people do change. Caleb is proof of that.”
Not everything.
“It must have been hard for both of them growing up,” Abby mused. “Caleb told me that until he married Emily, Christmas was just another day.”
Rachel registered her friend’s comment with a bit of a shock. With the Gentry money, she would have thought Lucas would have seen to it his boys had anything they wanted. What kind of man would deprive children of a bit of happiness once a year?
“Well, Lucas didn’t pretend to be anything but who he was,” she said. “I don’t imagine he was too interested in conforming to society’s expectations. Dad says that for all his unreasonableness, Lucas had a reputation for being hardworking. At least he passed that on to Caleb.”
“But not Gabe, from what I hear.”
“No. Not Gabe.”
“Did you know him?” Abby queried, taking another forkful of pie.
“Yes,” Rachel said, concentrating on the steam rising from her mug. “Gabe was two years younger than I, though, and we didn’t share the same circle of friends.”
“Caleb said he was...spoiled.” Abby said the word almost apologetically.
“To put it mildly,” Rachel said, struggling to suppress the sarcasm in her voice.
“I’ve heard he’s very handsome.”
“He’s also wild, dangerous and has no sense of decency...from what I hear,” Rachel tacked on.
Abby wondered why her friend was so irritated by the topic of Gabriel Gentry. “So I’ve heard from Caleb. As I said, people do change. I suppose only time will tell if Gabe has.”
Rachel took a sip of coffee before answering. “He did tell me he came back to try to make amends.”
“That’s promising, but I’m here to say that Caleb is struggling with the idea that Gabe is even back after so long. There’s been a lot of bad blood between them.”
Rachel nodded. “I certainly understand how he feels.” Perhaps more than Caleb.
* * *
That conversation stayed with Rachel as she drove the buggy back to town. Like Caleb, she was having a hard time accepting Gabe’s return. Because he broke your heart and trampled your woman’s pride beneath his fancy handmade boots.
True enough. That aside, surely she was mature enough to put the past into perspective. As terrible as it had been, she had learned from the experience. She was a better person. Stronger and more tolerant of others’ mistakes. So why not Gabe’s?
No doubt about it, she thought, giving her head a shake. She was a terrible, terrible person! Not forgiving wasn’t an option to a Christian, but like Caleb’s, her forgiveness