“No, it’s— I meant, since when did you notice?”
“I’ve always noticed when you’re not wearing a bra.”
“Oh.” She counted back in her head and figured that must be about a couple hundred occasions, adding in all their lazy Sundays when she didn’t get out of her pajamas till noon. Going without a bra wasn’t something she spent a lot of time contemplating. She was small on top and liked it that way.
So did Jamie? Wow.
They moved off down the street, heading toward George’s, the large-dog run at Washington Square Park. Her heart was beating like a bongo drum. “How come you never said anything?”
Jamie took a long time answering. “How would you have reacted if I’d mentioned that you look sexy with a little jiggle and perkiness under your shirt? Or if I’d confessed that I steal looks through the gap every time you miss a button?”
Marissa bit the inside of her cheek. “I might have been more careful.”
She should feel mortified. Or at least insulted. But the knowledge that he’d been looking at her that way, noticing her body and maybe lusting after her hard-core, was not as weird as she’d once have expected. Ever since The Kiss—
No, her feelings had started even before that. Ever since she’d met him at the airport, there was a difference between them.
A difference that made heat crawl through her veins every time she thought about him touching her.
“I’m teasing,” Jamie said in a flat voice, his gaze pinned to the dog’s flopping ears.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
She sensed he was only trying to placate her. “Why don’t I believe you?”
He grinned sheepishly, looking a little more like the boy next door who kept her safe instead of off center. “Because when it comes to ogling the naughty bits of naked women, guys will always lie if they think they can get away with it.”
“I didn’t used to think of you as that kind of guy.”
“Then what am I? A eunuch?”
“Of course not! I know you’re, well, virile. In fact, you’re very attractive. Just not—”
“Just not attractive to you?” They’d slowed. His level, brooding stare was unnerving. But hot. Her cheeks flared. Forget the boy next door. He was giving off heavy-duty, man-in-your-bed vibes.
The old Jamie would have cracked a joke to distract them, but this one wasn’t backing down. He said, without a trace of embarrassment, “That’s not what your mouth was telling me last night.”
She gulped. “I wondered how long it’d take for us to go there.” She glanced around at the street, busy with the morning’s comings and goings. The dog walkers were out in full force: slender gay men matched with their greyhounds, high-heeled women toting pocket pooches, family guys leashed to a selection of setters and retrievers. “Huh. Not long. We haven’t even made it off the block.”
Jamie let Sally pull him forward to the corner, the dog’s nose quivering as she scented the bursting spring foliage at the park. “You want to pretend it didn’t happen?”
“I want us not to change. Not to make one kiss—”
Jamie’s new triple-X adult eyes knifed at her.
“Okay, a few kisses. Hot ones, even.” She took a steadying breath and started again. “Not to make a few hot kisses into some big drama that wrecks our friendship.”
“Like I said, you want to forget it happened.” Suddenly he sounded sad. Marissa’s stomach flipped. “Might as well forget what I said about your breasts, too.”
“Whatever. Really, it’s no big deal if you snuck a few peeks.” She looked down the neck hole of her T-shirt. “Breasts are breasts, unless they’re Pamela Anderson’s. So what if you’ve seen mine. I’m not shy.”
Jamie made a motion as if he intended to get another look, and she grabbed at the loose fabric, stretching the shirt taut across her front. Her nipples pressed sharp little points against the thin cotton.
The crosswalk light switched. The other pedestrians moved off quickly. Jamie didn’t budge an inch. Sally whimpered, tugging at the leash.
“Okay,” Marissa said. “You made your point. We can’t put the genie back in the bottle. But I’m not ready to deal with this.” She made a motion to reach for his hand, then pulled back. “Please, let’s go along as usual for a few days. I just got home. I’m wearing Shandi’s shoes.”
She put a hand up to flip back her hair and her fingers got stuck on a snarl. She never went out in such a state of disarray. Even going to the gym required a certain look with a coordinated outfit and her hair in a braided knot. “I’m all out of sorts.”
“I understand,” Jamie said. Grudgingly, for him. “But I’m not letting this drop for good,” he added because he couldn’t seem to help it. “You should think about the possibility that our friendship won’t be ruined if we become lovers. It might even be enhanced.”
“You’re such an optimist.”
He smiled. “And that’s a good thing.”
“I’ll think about it. But I can’t make a decision so fast.” Even though she always made decisions fast. “Will you wait? A reprieve is all I need to get my head straight.”
Man and dog cocked their heads at her.
“All I need,” she repeated, hoping that he couldn’t see that her heart was saying something more.
All I need is you.
“That and breakfast.” Jamie took her hand and turned Sally loose. The dog bounded into the crosswalk, feathered tail waving like a semaphore. They jogged after her, stretching their legs, and the tension inside Marissa finally let go.
“DO YOU THINK she’s gone?”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
Jamie angled his head toward their brownstone. “I hear music. Maroon Five.”
“Then she’s still there. Damn.” Marissa slowly climbed the steps. “I really don’t want a roommate again. It’s been nice, having the place to myself. My first time completely on my own.”
Jamie followed. She’d talked often about her family in Miami, so he knew that she’d grown up poor but ambitious, sharing a tiny bedroom with her sister, dreaming of life in the big city. “I don’t want her, either, but if I have to take the bullet, I will.”
“No!” Marissa looked startled by her own vehemence. “That is, I don’t expect you to sacrifice yourself for my sake. She’ll find a place.”
He weighed the possibilities. “Are you worried that we’d sleep together?”
“Who? Us?”
He could only hope. “Me and Shandi.”
Cool now, Marissa raised an eyebrow. “Would you?”
“Hell, no.” When he ran into Shandi these days, he couldn’t remember why he’d ever been involved with her. Thinking about it, he saw that she’d dazzled him with her freewheeling zest, somewhat like Marissa. Shandi Lee was an experience. Three years ago, he’d still been new to the city lifestyle, recently removed from a comfortable suburban home. He had commuted to college, then put in a short stint at a small-town paper before realizing that he’d become too settled.
But he’d progressed since his first days in the city. He’d become a lot smarter about what kind of woman he wanted