“It is,” she said, holding her ground calmly, quietly, but with conviction.
His great green eyes stayed steady on her for a long moment. While Jani knew he was once again gauging her motives and whether there was some hidden trap or conspiracy in this, she also had the sense that he was looking beyond the fact that she was a Camden and sizing her up as her own person.
His expression didn’t reveal the conclusion he came to, though.
“I suppose we should start with you taking a look at the building and getting an idea of what you’re signing on for.”
Was she imagining it or was there a microscopically small reduction in the hostility in his tone?
She was probably just imagining it because she wanted it to be the case.
“Just tell me where and when,” she said.
“So eager…” he muttered, still watching her and again seeming suspicious.
“Actually, I’m just trying to be cooperative,” she corrected.
He didn’t remark on that. He merely went on watching her as if to say that he’d be the judge. But Jani thought that actions spoke louder than words, and he wouldn’t be able to find fault with her actions because she was on the up-and-up.
Then, out of the blue, he said, “So you’re not mar-ried….”
“Nope, never have been.”
“But you’re not letting the lack of a husband—or even a fiancé or a boyfriend—stop you from having a family?”
“Not anymore.”
“That’s a bold move.”
Oh yeah, he was sizing her up.
She shrugged. “Sometimes it feels that way,” she admitted. “But I just started the process. I’ve only had my first visit to the doctor, and I’m taking it one step at a time.” Which was what she told herself whenever the prospect of artificial insemination, pregnancy, delivery and raising a child alone seemed daunting.
One step at a time. Take it one step at a time and you can handle it….
It was actually the advice GiGi had given all ten of her grandchildren whenever they’d thought anything was insurmountable, and it had always served Jani well.
“I suppose you are a Camden—you don’t need financial help,” Gideon said. “But still…Will there even be a father in the picture?” He suddenly sat up straighter and leaned farther back in his chair, held up his hands, palms out, and added, “None of my business. I’m out of line.”
“No, it’s okay,” Jani said, thinking that if she needed him to eventually open up to her, it might aid the cause for her to be open with him first. “There won’t be a father in the picture. There will only be me. And a baby!” she said enthusiastically.
He was looking even more intently at her, with the shadow of a frown putting a small crease between his eyebrows. “Do you think that a father in a kid’s life is just inconsequential?” he asked as if it were an issue to him.
“No! Not at all,” Jani said. “I loved my own dad dearly—I was an awful daddy’s girl. And regardless of how you think of H.J., I loved him, too—he was an important man in my life. So was a man named Louie, who was sort of a substitute father when I needed him to be. This is just…” She wanted to foster a sense of openness with Gideon but she wasn’t willing to be too open or go into too many details, either.
“…this is just what I’ve decided to do. A baby is something I’ve wanted forever and I’m not going to wait any longer to have one. Kids grow up in all sorts of different situations now—lots and lots of them in one-parent homes. If…” no, she wasn’t going to have defeatist thoughts “…when I get pregnant, I’ll just love my baby enough for it to feel like it has two parents.”
The crease between Gideon’s eyes deepened. It reminded Jani of the way Gigi responded to this subject.
“I know not everyone approves—my grandmother wishes I wouldn’t do it,” she said. “But things don’t always work out the way we—or anyone else—wish they would.”
“True…”
“So sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get what you want.”
“H. J. Camden’s philosophy?” Gideon said with challenge in his tone again.
I walked into that one, didn’t I?
“Family was important to my great-grandfather,” she said, purposely misinterpreting Gideon’s words and ignoring what he’d actually meant. “And having a family is really, really important to me, too. That’s why I’m not going to wait or leave it to chance anymore.”
“I can’t say that leaving things to chance has worked out for me,” he said. Then he shrugged. “Well, good luck with that, I guess.”
“Thank you,” she answered as if his wishes had been more heartfelt.
He asked if she wanted a second latte but when Jani declined he said, “I should probably get going. I have paperwork to do yet tonight.”
Why did it sound as if he might be reluctant to end this? Jani wondered. It certainly didn’t seem as if he were having a good time with her.
Maybe he just wanted to put off working more tonight.
He stood up and took their empty cups to throw in the trash, leaving Jani with confirmation that he did, indeed, have manners.
And an incredibly good rear end that came into view when he bent over to pick up a package of napkins one of the teenage employees dropped when he walked by carrying more of them than he could balance.
But admiring Gideon Thatcher’s derriere was totally uncalled for and when Jani realized that was what she was doing, she stood, too, and began to put on her coat.
Her gaze remained on Gideon, though, even after he was standing straight and tall again. As she admired the drape of his suit coat from those expansive shoulders to his narrow waist and hips, she somehow kept missing the opening of her second coat sleeve.
She was still fumbling with it as he got back to the table and he gave her an assist, holding her coat up to make the armhole more accessible.
“Thanks,” she said for the second time, ultra-aware of his arm stretched across her back.
It wasn’t as if he were putting his arm around her, she told herself.
It just sort of felt that way.
And sent a little tingle through her that she had no control over. That was silly. And uncalled for.
And still somehow made her feel all warm inside…
Which was just plain crazy.
Then he took his arm away and it was even crazier that she was sorry it was gone.
“So, looking at the building for the community center,” she said to put things squarely back into the dominion of business.
“Right…” Gideon said, giving no indication that being near her had affected him the way it had affected her. “I’ll be in Lakeview all day tomorrow. I could meet you at the building I have in mind at…maybe, let’s say, four-thirty? Any earlier and I’m afraid I might keep you waiting again.”
“My schedule is light tomorrow. I can leave work early enough to get to Lakeview by four-thirty. Just send me the address.”
“I’ll do that,” he agreed as they headed for the coffee shop exit.
“Thanks for the latte,” Jani said, passing in front of him as he held the door open for her. “And I’m glad you decided