He closed in on her and took her arm. “This isn’t safe.”
“I have security with me.”
“I had security,” he roared. “We all had security. It didn’t do any good.”
“Zahir … “
His hand tensed around her arm as more people began to crowd around them, people who had walked through her as though she was invisible. Not now. Add Zahir to the equation and everyone was riveted to the drama unfolding.
He paused for a moment, his body stiff. She saw the same strange, distant look in his eyes, as though he wasn’t seeing her, as though he wasn’t seeing what was around. His eyes locked with hers, bottomless wells of dark emotion. He was like a hunted animal, all fear and rage and primal instinct.
That was when she knew he saw her, unlike the time in his office. But there was something wrong. He wasn’t in this moment. He was in another time, gripped with an emotion so strong that it had dragged him down into the depths of it.
He pulled her away with him, out of the crowd, to one of the crumbling brick buildings behind a market stall. She stumbled, and he held her steady, his strength enhanced by the adrenaline she knew was screaming through him.
They rounded a corner, slipping into a narrow alleyway, and he pressed her against the wall of one of the surrounding buildings, his big body acting as a shield. From what, she didn’t know. His hands were pressed flat against the brick on either side of her, his chest against hers. He was hunched over her, the gesture protective, feral.
His breathing was harsh, unsteady, each gust of air bringing a near growl with it that seemed to rumble through his being. His entire body was rock hard with tension, every muscle, every tendon straining as he fought to keep himself strong against her.
“Zahir,” she said, her voice soft.
He didn’t move, he only stood, braced, a human barrier between her and whatever danger he thought they faced. She lifted her hand and put it on his chest, felt his heart beating hard against her palm. She felt his pain. His fear. It was in her, squeezing around her heart, suffocating. Horrendous.
And she could only imagine what it was to be in Zahir’s body now.
She slid her hand up, her fingers curling around his neck. He lifted his head, his dark eyes blazing with something wild, intense. She moved her hand upward, resting it lightly on his cheek, his skin rough beneath her fingertips. “Everything’s fine. We’re just in the market.”
He shuddered beneath her touch, his eyes closing for a long moment before he opened them again.
She lifted her other hand, resting it on the smooth side of his face, and looked into his eyes. “Zahir.”
He swallowed hard, and she felt him shiver, the muscles in his body spasming. “Katharine.”
He pulled away from her. Katharine was relieved to see that the crowd had dispersed, thanks in part of Taj and Ahmed and their ham-handed style of security, she imagined.
“I’m fine,” she said.
“Get in the car,” he said tightly.
She nodded once, moving ahead of him. She kept her head down, ignoring the stares and the conversation in languages she didn’t understand.
“No,” he said. “My car.”
She turned and looked in the direction Zahir was focused on. The sleek black car was identical to the other one, part of the royal fleet, she imagined. “You didn’t drive, did you? Because you shouldn’t drive.”
He shot her a hard look. “I do not drive anymore. I should think the reason for that is quite obvious.”
He jerked the back door open and she slid inside. He rounded the other side and sat next to her, his posture stiff. The driver pulled onto the road and turned back in the direction of the palace.
Katharine’s heart was hammering hard, her hands shaking. Her entire body shaking, from the inside out. From the surge of adrenaline brought on by the whole situation, and from Zahir’s nearness.
Silence filled the space between them. She waited as long as she could before all of the questions swirling in her mind had to escape her mouth.
“How often does it happen?” she asked.
He turned his head to look at her. “Much less frequently than it used to.”
“It happened in your office last week.”
He pushed his hand through his hair, a slight tremble visible to her, making her feel like she should look away. To let him regain his pride. To let him have back what he’d lost in that true, unguarded moment. But she couldn’t.
“A short one.” He didn’t want to talk about it, she could see that. It was written in every tense line of muscle in his body. And yet she had to ask. She had to know.
“Are they … flashbacks?”
“It’s the crowd,” he said, his voice tight. “I saw … I thought you were in danger.” He flexed his fingers before curling them back into a fist. “I’m not insane,” he ground out.
“I know. I never thought you were.” She played the moment over again, his eyes, his face, the true, deep fear in them. It had been real to him, what he had felt and seen. It hadn’t been an overreaction or overprotection. It had been bone deep for him. “I … Is it posttraumatic stress? I’ve volunteered at a lot of hospitals in Austrich. Seen people who have been in accidents. It’s common when someone has gone through something like you did.”
He turned, angled away from her, his eyes on the passing scenery. “It probably is.”
“Haven’t you seen anyone?”
“They gave me medication to help me sleep. That’s all.”
She swallowed. “You don’t take it, do you?”
He let out a short laugh. “Already you know me better than my doctors. No, I don’t take it.”
“Do you sleep?”
The corner of his lip curved up. “No.”
“Maybe you should take … “
“No. Drugs to suppress it. To make me tired. What does that fix? Nothing. It just masks it. Another thing to control me when I … I should … I don’t want this. I don’t want to be affected by it,” he said, his voice harsh.
She wanted to offer comfort, to touch him, and yet, she knew he would reject it. Reject her. “But you are.”
“It’s gotten better.”
“That was not better.”
He snorted. “Sure it was. You should have seen me at first. Ask Amarah how it was.”
Her chest felt tight and she almost didn’t want to ask the question. But she had to. “Who’s Amarah?”
“She was my fiancée. She was there when I woke up, by my bedside. For all of five minutes before she turned and ran from the room. She came back, of course. She tried, for two days she tried, to deal with me, to help the doctors. But I would … I would black out. Or have a flashback and I was … unpredictable.”
Katharine put her hand to her stomach, trying to calm the wave of nausea that washed through her. “Did you hurt her?”
He shook his head. “Never. I was trying to protect her but … how safe did you feel just now?” He laughed, a dark, humorless sound.
Katharine could see how Zahir might be frightening in that circumstance, but she had only been scared for him, not of him. She’d known, from the moment he’d pressed her up against the wall,