She had never respected gynecology as much as she had learned to in the past twenty-four hours. It wasn’t the roses-and-sunshine specialty the other surgeons thought it was. They really did save lives, this time her best friend’s life, and she would be forever grateful. “Okay. Thank you, Erin, for everything.”
“It’s our job. Kate, I’m probably going to be at least a half an hour if not more. Why don’t you get something to eat or take a nap in one of the call rooms? I’ll page you when I’m done.”
Kate nodded, appreciative of Erin’s concern for her well-being and also for the time she was spending on Chloe’s care. She watched the petite blonde walk away and decided to take her up on her advice. She walked from the intensive care family lounge to the operating room and found Tate in the recovery room, writing post-operative orders.
He noticed her instantly and she smiled warmly at him, trying to convey the good news before she reached him. “She’s been extubated and is doing well. They paged Gynecology as her attending service and Madden is in with her now. It will be another hour before she can have visitors.”
“Thanks, Kate.”
“Don’t thank me. I should have known something was wrong when I saw her the other day and she complained about feeling unwell. Instead, I was too distracted by Matt to notice what was going on with my best friend.”
“Kate, you are one of the most important people in Chloe’s world. She knows how much you love her and how important she is to you, just as You are to her. You two are inseparable. So stop feeling guilty about a situation you had no involvement in or control over. You know that she would hate that, even more than I do.”
“You’re right. You know us both really well.”
“Yeah…” He paused. “I need to get these orders done and the operative note dictated. I’ll go and see Chloe in a few hours after you two have had some time together.”
“Thanks, Tate. I’ll see you later.”
She hurried downstairs towards the hospital coffee shop, happy to have made it before its midnight closing. Too many nights confined to the hospital’s vending machines had made their contents completely unappetizing. After getting a cup of tea and a sandwich prepared earlier in the day by the hospital’s ladies auxiliary, she made her way back to the intensive care lounge, knowing that she would be more disoriented after thirty minutes of sleep than she would be after none.
She ate the sandwich quickly, having failed to notice how hungry she was until she actually had food in her stomach. She sipped the cup of tea slowly. It was almost a full hour before Erin Madden emerged.
“At least you went for something to eat,” she said, smiling and gesturing at the wrapping. “Chloe’s doing well. They are going to move her to the obstetric ward in the morning.”
“The obstetric ward?” Kate repeated, her confusion clear in her tone.
“Chloe and I both agreed that that would offer her more privacy than any of the other surgical wards, where she might have known or interacted with some of the patients,” Erin answered, unfazed by being questioned about her medical decision-making.
“Do you think the nurses there are experienced enough to handle her postoperative care?” Kate asked, still feeling wary of the choice of ward. She had rarely been to the obstetric ward and felt anxious about Chloe being somewhere she didn’t know.
“Kate, if there is one thing Obstetrics is good at, it is management of bleeding.”
“Okay,” Kate agreed. She couldn’t dispute the quality of care Chloe had already received and had to trust the team taking care of her. Particularly as she still didn’t know what exactly had happened to Chloe.
“I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow. Try not to totally exhaust yourself, Kate. I promise you, if anything changes you’ll know as soon as I do.”
“Thanks, Erin. Have a good night.”
She walked back to Chloe’s room and found her asleep in her bed. She no longer had the breathing tube and without the sound of the ventilator, the room was much quieter. Chloe opened her eyes as Kate moved back towards the bedside chair.
“Hey,” Chloe croaked, her throat still raw from the irritation of the tube.
“Hey, yourself,” Kate replied, unable to keep herself from smiling at the joy of just being able to have this conversation.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Chloe whispered.
Kate reached out and took her hand, fighting for control of her emotions as she said the words that had been repeating in her head since the call. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”
“Kate, there was nothing you could have done.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Kate asked gently.
“Not tonight. It’s too complicated and I’m too tired and sore to understand the situation myself. Is that okay?”
It was a complete role reversal. Chloe was asking for understanding without explanation, the same thing Kate had wanted when they had first met.
“Of course it’s okay, Chloe. Anything you want.”
“Anything I want?” she replied. A little flicker of her usual self in her eyes, as one eyebrow arched upwards.
“Anything you want,” Kate reaffirmed. She was ready and willing to agree to anything for Chloe.
“Go home, Kate, you look almost as bad as I must.” She laughed and then had to brace her stomach because the movement caused her pain. Then laughed again at her action.
“Nice, Chloe.” Kate laughed quietly. “Are you sure? I don’t mind staying.”
“I know. And you also know that all I’m going to do tonight is sleep, so you should go home and do the same.”
“I hate it that you are so selfless and reasonable, but I’ll do as I’m told. Tate is working nights this week. He’s going to stop by in a couple of hours to check in.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“Behave yourself while I’m gone. Can’t have you cheating on me with any other surgeons, now, can I?”
Chloe laughed again, clutching her stomach. “Get out of here before I need more pain medication just for the laughter.”
“’Night, Chloe. I love you.”
“’Night, Kate. I know you love me and I love you too.”
Kate got home shortly after midnight, exhaustion seeping through her the moment she opened her apartment door. Her eyes immediately fell on her black sweater and bra, which were still strewn on the living-room floor. The ones she had pulled off herself the night before.
The bed wasn’t made. The sheets were tangled and she could still see Matt lying there, the memory strong in her mind. She changed quickly into her pajamas and walked out of the room back to her couch. She curled up on its familiar comfort, shut her eyes, trying to block out the events of the past thirty-six hours, and begged for sleep.
It didn’t come and she lay exhausted, her mind refusing to quiet or slow down and think rationally. She oscillated between anxieties at not being with Chloe, to pain from not hearing from Matt. Why hadn’t he called?
She officially gave up hope at around four in the morning and went back to the hospital. Quietly she retook her place at Chloe’s bedside, assuaging at least once source of torment. At exactly eight in the morning she couldn’t take the waiting any more and called Matt’s firm. The main receptionist put her through to Matt’s office.
“Hello, Matt McKayne’s