Her heart was thudding so hard inside her chest that Sophia couldn’t get an immediate grip on her emotions. Humiliation and shame slammed into her that she’d so stupidly exposed her need and vulnerability to Jarrett. Would he think it was no wonder that she’d ended up with a brute like her husband when she was clearly so desperate for love and affection … for sex?
Twisting out of his arms, she shakily rubbed her face dry of tears. ‘Thanks for keeping a level head when I was clearly losing mine. I appreciate it. Now I’d better go. I have things to do at home. Like I said—I’ve started to convert a room into a darkroom to print my pictures and I really need to get on with it.’
‘Sophia?’
‘Yes?’ The command in Jarrett’s tone ensured her feet stayed firmly rooted to the spot when her preference was to escape as quickly as she could, so that she could go home and lick her wounds in private and examine why she had so eagerly let down her guard around him.
‘I want you … Make no mistake about that. But it’s not just sex that I want. What I want most of all is a relationship with you. I’d like to start by taking you out to dinner tonight.’
‘I don’t think that I—’
‘Don’t turn away from me. It’s time you returned to the land of the living and started to enjoy life again.’
‘The concept of enjoying my life feels like a million miles away right now,’ she confessed quietly as she ventured to meet his piercing gaze.
‘Well, maybe you can start by at least entertaining the thought. And by agreeing to go out to dinner with me tonight.’
The tumult inside Sophia started to subside a little, so that she was at last able to think more clearly. After Tom she’d been certain that she would steer clear of men—particularly handsome men—for the rest of her life.
With a trembling hand she brushed back the long waving hair that clung damply to the sides of her face. ‘All right. I’ll go out to dinner with you tonight. Satisfied?’ she added with a touch of feistiness. Because although she wanted more than anything to go out to dinner with Jarrett she had to be careful not to seem too eager.
‘After that kiss?’ His face assumed an exaggeratedly pained expression. ‘Not by a long chalk, sweetheart. Not when I think I’ve just discovered the true meaning of the word frustration!’
‘You were the one who put a stop to it.’
‘Very true.’ A muscle hitched in the side of his sculpted cheekbone, and this time his expression was deadly serious. ‘But I’m glad that I did. I want to get to know you, Sophia. I want you to get to know me. Isn’t that how all good relationships are meant to start out? With friendship?’
She stared. The concept was alien to her … that a man and a woman could be friends before they were lovers.
IN THE softly lit restaurant, with candlelight flickering between them, at the beautifully laid corner table that he had specifically reserved, Jarrett formed his hands into a steeple and rested his chin on it to study his companion more closely.
It wasn’t just the muted lighting and candlelight that rendered her features beautiful. It was a face that he could never imagine growing tired of looking at. Just one glance into eyes the colour of new-mown summer grass with sweeping chestnut lashes was enough to kindle a lifelong fascination. But it didn’t hurt that Sophia’s other features were equally compelling—from the small, elegant nose, the strongly defined pretty mouth, right down to the gentle cleft in a firm chin that denoted an uncommon strength of character and resolve. And, by God, she must have had to employ both of those attributes in spades during a marriage that had surely been made in hell.
He was still reeling at what she had told him. The truth had turned out to be much worse than he’d anticipated. The thought of her suffering at the hands of the sort of man her husband had been was enough to make a peaceable man like himself commit violence. In his opinion Tom had done her and Charlie a favour by dying suddenly like that. Still, it bothered Jarrett that Sophia would probably carry the psychological wounds of that terrible experience for the rest of her life.
That was why he had gently held her off in the midst of that incredible kiss they’d shared. He didn’t want her to feel as if he was taking advantage of her in any way, even if his decision to cool things down a bit had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Now he planned to woo her properly … to let her know that he would put respect for her feelings, needs and wants above his own desires. He’d waited a long time for the right woman to come into his life, and Sophia was already too important to him to scare her off with any kind of rash move. You didn’t rescue a bird with a broken wing and expect it to fly again without tending to it first, without allowing it time to heal.
‘What are you thinking about, I wonder?’ Sophia smiled, breaking into his thoughts.
‘I was thinking about you.’ There was a helpless, smoky catch in his voice.
‘Boring subject … been there, done that. Earlier today, as a matter of fact—remember?’
She made a face and for a moment the child in her surfaced—a child who had been unbearably wounded. It made Jarrett’s heart constrict. It was becoming clear to him that she went on the defensive at the least provocation. He didn’t doubt her bitterly unhappy marriage had ripped into her sense of safety.
Leaning forward a little, he caught her gaze. ‘How could you think yourself boring when the whole village is buzzing with speculation about you? You’re not like anybody else round here … And although people are naturally suspicious because you’re an unknown quantity, they’re also envious.’
‘You should know by now that they have nothing to be envious of. Besides, do you think I want that kind of attention? I’d rather live like a hermit in a cave. All I want is to be able to go about my business unnoticed and be like everybody else. Just to be ordinary. I’m not asking for the world. I have the same aspirations as most women round here, I’m sure … To be a good mother, be well paid for the work that I do, and to have a comfortable and affordable home. I love High Ridge, but I’d be a liar if I said that it doesn’t keep me awake nights wondering if I haven’t bitten off more than I could chew because I’m living in a house straight out of one of Dickens’s novels!’
Jarrett smiled, wondering if she had any idea how beautiful she was in her simple wrap-around blue jersey dress, with her long chestnut hair glossy as dark fire as it flowed down over her slender shoulders. ‘Those are reasonable and commendable aspirations indeed,’ he answered thoughtfully. ‘Except that I’m perturbed you haven’t included the desire for a meaningful and happy relationship on your list. I was hoping you might include that one.’
Sophia’s returning gaze was steady. ‘Maybe that’s because past experience has demolished all the optimism I once had.’
He was still soberly absorbing this comment when two smartly dressed waiters arrived with their food. The Italian restaurant Jarrett had driven them to was about ten miles from the village, deep in the heart of the surrounding countryside. The chances of bumping into anybody local were slim, and he’d hoped that might help Sophia to relax. Glancing down at the pasta dishes they’d selected from the menu, he didn’t think either he or his companion would be disappointed with their choices. Not if the tasteful presentation and delicious aroma that wafted tantalisingly beneath his nose was anything to go by. And he knew