Her voice was small. ‘No.’
At least she had the grace to look embarrassed but it wasn’t good enough.
‘On balance, I suspect most people would consider you to be taking advantage of me right about now.’
‘You agreed.’ Charlotte had two bright spots of colour on her cheeks and her tone was accusing. ‘This was all your idea—’
‘I have gone out of my way to help you,’ Nico interrupted, dumping the ice bucket and glasses on the table by the window, oblivious to the glorious scenery of the Italian Dolomites rushing past in the distance. ‘And it is not because I have any intention of “taking advantage” of you. You are the complete opposite of the type of woman I find attractive.’
A curious expression changed Charlotte’s features. She looked…hurt? Disappointed? Surely not. The expression was gone as quickly as it had appeared but it took the wind out of Nico’s sails. His anger evaporating, he sank down onto the seat beside her. ‘Do you want to know the real reason?’ he asked.
‘Mmm?’ The sound was somewhat strangled but Charlotte was looking at her hands, which were clasped tightly together in her lap.
‘You fascinate me,’ Nico said simply. An honest statement, dragged from a deep place, possibly against his better judgement.
There was a long moment of silence but Nico let it ride as he tried to shut down the implications. Why did this interest feel so very different from the attraction a woman usually had for him? Was it a threat?
Very slowly, Charlotte finally raised her head. Her eyes were a dark, stormy grey and they were wide and puzzled. Fearful, almost.
‘Why?’ The word was a whisper.
Why indeed?
‘You’re a beautiful woman, Carlotta.’ The Italian version of her name came to his lips unbidden. ‘You are also very intelligent and successful. I have a great admiration for your professional abilities.’ He could feel a corner of his mouth quirk. ‘You are also surprisingly talented at playing the piano.’
A snort of mirth escaped Charlotte as she shook her head, encouraging a lock of hair to escape the tight ponytail she was wearing today.
Nico couldn’t resist catching that lock and smoothing it back behind her ear. ‘I believe that people come into your life for a reason,’ he added quietly. ‘I find myself in an extraordinary place, if only for a limited time, and I have to wonder if fate has brought us together because we have something we can learn from each other.’
She was looking at him now as if he’d grown two heads. ‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know.’ Nico shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s your astonishing grandmother I was destined to meet. To learn how one can make the most of life until the very end. Or how to face the prospect of that end with such dignity and courage.’
‘Oh…’ Charlotte caught her top lip between her teeth but it wasn’t enough to stop tears rushing to her eyes.
Dio…he hadn’t intended to make her cry. Nico extracted one of her still-clasped hands and held it between his own.
‘Or maybe I need to learn about family,’ he said. ‘The love you have for your nonna touches me very much. Right here.’ He brought her hand up to press it against his heart. ‘I don’t have a bond like that. Perhaps I pushed my mother away because of the childhood sadness of losing my father. Maybe that’s why I never want to marry or have a family of my own because I can’t imagine inflicting that kind of pain on children.
‘But half of me is Italian and it doesn’t feel right. I’ve ignored that sense for many years but seeing you with your nonna opened my eyes.’ His smile was wry. ‘I don’t know if it will change how I live my life but it feels right to be helping you.’
‘But you wouldn’t inflict that pain on your own children.’ He could feel the pressure as Charlotte started holding his hand instead of just letting hers be held. ‘Because you’d know what it was like. And even if the marriage didn’t work, you’d still keep your bond with your children. You’d fight for it. And win.’
She believed that. She believed in him. It gave Nico an odd frisson of…what, pride? Invincibility? Oh, yes…he could conquer the world if a woman like Charlotte truly believed in him. Except…
‘It’s not going to happen…’ The admission was being torn from somewhere that had been so well locked away maybe he hadn’t even been aware of it himself. ‘The kind of love that leads to marriage…and children…can only happen if you can fall in love. I think…I think that I’m not capable of doing that.’
There it was. His deepest, darkest secret. Something that he’d never said to anyone. From the shocked expression on Charlotte’s face she must realise the significance of his confession. But she didn’t believe it.
‘Why not?’
Nico had to swallow hard. Why was he putting himself through this? Because it seemed like a pathway to get Charlotte to open up about herself? If he stopped now, he’d never reach his goal.
‘I love my mother,’ he said quietly. ‘I can’t blame her for wanting to find happiness in her life and the men she falls in love with don’t seem to be able to provide that for very long. But I loved my father too and, even as a child, I could see that he was destroyed by losing the woman he loved so much. Falling in love can create so much pain. You either end up being destroyed yourself, like my father, or destroying others, like my mother has—more than once.’
‘That doesn’t have to happen. Not if you choose the right person who can give you what you need.’
‘What if you don’t know what it is that you need? How can you possibly make the right choice of a person to be with for the rest of your life?’ Nico shook his head. ‘No. It’s safer to never fall in love. Perhaps I’m lucky that I have that inability.’
Charlotte was still staring at him, a crease of concern between her brows.
‘But you don’t want to end up like Gran,’ she said, with a wobble in her voice. ‘Old and sick but with nobody to care about you. No child. No grandchild.’ Her voice trailed away as if Nico wasn’t supposed to hear her next words. ‘That’s what terrifies me…’
‘So why are you alone?’ Nico turned so that he could look directly at Charlotte. ‘A beautiful, talented woman who should be thinking of having children of her own so that she can have grandchildren one day.’
There was no response other than a withdrawal Nico could both see and feel. As if the white witch from Narnia had waved her wand and turned his companion to stone.
Nico had bared a part of his soul here. A part that had never been shared before and never would be again. Charlotte wasn’t going to be allowed not to take her turn.
‘Tell me about Siegfried,’ he said.
‘No.’ The refusal was absolute. Charlotte pulled her hand away and turned to stare out of the window.
Nico leaned back against the seat, letting his head rest on the lace-covered cushion. ‘I’m a patient man,’ he said lightly. ‘We have the rest of today. And all night.’
He couldn’t miss the way Charlotte’s chest heaved as she gasped silently. Struggling for control? Interesting. He was getting somewhere, at least.
Nico watched her profile closely. ‘We are in this extraordinary place and time and we never have to see each other again after tomorrow. I believe I have something to learn from you, Carlotta. And I think that maybe you have something to learn from me.’
He touched her arm and she flinched. Nico sighed. He should give up. Accept that Charlotte wasn’t prepared