“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Dr. Carter said quietly. “Actually, you did the right thing by raising the question. Sometimes we see these people so often, here at work and out in the community, we don’t even think about the fact that something horrible could be happening behind closed doors. Having new people work here is a good way to keep us on our toes.”
He was being nice, trying to make her feel better. Surely someone with integrity, like Dr. Carter, wouldn’t ignore a case of child abuse. “Thanks,” she murmured. “You’d better go in there to see him. He’ll need X-rays for sure.”
“Will do.” He flashed a quick smile before disappearing into Ben’s room. She followed and halted in the doorway, watching as Dr. Taylor and his pregnant wife hovered over Ben with obvious concern.
A family united.
Feeling foolish about her original suspicions, and maybe a bit envious at their closeness, Hailey turned away to check on her other patients.
After the fiasco with Ben, the rest of her shift flew by. Several times she thought about calling upstairs to the intensive care unit to find out how Hank McLeod was doing, but other issues needing her attention prevented her from following through.
But after her shift was over, Hailey couldn’t leave without checking on him. She didn’t call the ICU but simply walked up the few flights of stairs until she reached the third-floor surgical ICU.
Worrying her bottom lip with her top teeth, she read through the names on the census board. She didn’t immediately find his name and her stomach clenched, fearing the worst. But then she found him at the bottom of the list in the very last room.
She went down the hall toward his room, only to discover he was in the middle of a sterile procedure, a central line placement from what she could tell. She glimpsed at his vital signs on the monitor, reassuring herself that he was relatively stable, before she backed away.
Not an appropriate time to check with his wife to see how things were going. Maybe tomorrow she’d stop up to see Mrs. McLeod. As Hailey walked back out of the unit, she came face to face with Dr. Carter, who was apparently on his way in.
“Hi, Dr. Carter. Guess we’re both here for the same reason,” she said with a sheepish grin. She was impressed he’d cared enough to come up to check on their patient. “You can go in, but they’re in the middle of placing a central line on Mr. McLeod.”
“Ah, then I won’t bother them.” He stood for a moment, his hands tucked in the pockets of his lab coat as if he wanted to say something. “Hailey, stop the Dr. Carter stuff. You need to call me Simon.”
Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard. “I’ll—uh—try,” she hedged, stepping to go around him. “I have to run. I’ll—uh—see you later.”
“Wait, this is important,” he called, halting her escape. “I’m not trying to come onto you or anything.”
She sucked in a quick breath at his bold statement. “I never thought you were!” she said hastily, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.
Good grief, this was awkward.
Now it was his turn to avoid her gaze. Still, he continued, as if needing to clear the air. “The administration here at Cedar Bluff is working on a new initiative where we all work together as a team, keeping the patient at the center of all we do.”
“Okay,” she agreed slowly, trying to figure out where he was going with all this. “I’m all for making our patients a priority—why else would we be here?” And what in the world did that have to do with calling him Simon? She could feel her cheeks reddening at the thought of being on a first-name basis with him.
“Of course, we all do. But I think you’re missing the point. The most important part of achieving the goal of patient-centered care is teamwork. Cedar Bluff doesn’t want us to view ourselves as a hierarchical organization. Instead, they want us to have a team approach, where everyone has an equal say in what we do for our patients.”
“Really?” She couldn’t help the sliver of doubt in her tone.
Now his expression seemed a bit exasperated. “Haven’t you noticed how big the first name is printed on our hospital ID badge? Or heard everyone calling everyone else by their first names?”
She nodded slowly. “Yes. But I’m used to calling doctors by their formal titles. It’s a sign of respect. And I figured you all knew each other well enough to use first names, but I’m still new here.”
He looked a little taken aback by that statement. “Not at all. I mean, I know some of the people really well but others I don’t. Regardless, it’s about being a team. Not a doctor versus a nurse, or a tech versus a nurse. A team. Got it?”
What he was saying made some sense. She reluctantly agreed, “Got it.”
He looked relieved. “Good.” There was another awkward silence and he cleared his throat and then glanced at his watch. “I have to get home, too. Goodnight, Hailey.”
His expectant gaze forced her to respond in kind. “Goodnight, Simon.”
His name sounded strange when she spoke it out loud and for a moment there was a simmering awareness hovering between them. After a few moments he deliberately turned and walked away, breaking the intangible connection.
When he headed for the elevators, she decided to slip down the stairs to go to the staff locker room.
In the privacy of the female locker room, she peeled off her scrubs and pulled on her skin-tight florescent striped biking gear, reliving those few tense moments when Simon had told her he wasn’t coming onto her.
Had she given him the impression she wished he would? Or that she thought he was? Good grief, talk about humiliating.
He couldn’t know that the last thing she wanted was a relationship. With him or anyone else.
“I can’t believe you’re still here!” Rachel exclaimed, coming into the locker room and interrupting her tumultuous thoughts. “Don’t tell me you rode your bike today. I know it’s spring, but it’s freezing outside. Not to mention dark. Why would you ride this late? It’s close to midnight.”
Hailey offered a weak smile. “Biking is good exercise and I don’t live very far. Don’t worry, this fluorescent gear keeps me safe.” Despite the budding friendship she felt toward Rachel, there were some secrets that were too dark to share, no matter how strong the friendship.
After all, she’d come here to Cedar Bluff to escape the past, not dwell on everything she’d lost.
“You’re crazy,” Rachel said, slamming her locker door shut as Hailey pulled on her bike helmet. “Truly crazy. Are you sure you don’t want a ride home?”
“I’m sure,” Hailey responded firmly. She pulled on her gloves and then opened the locker-room door. She had to shut this conversation down before Rachel asked any more questions. “Bye, Rachel. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Hailey. Ride safe.”
“I will.” Outside, true to Rachel’s word, the cold wind cut through her sweat-wicking biking gear. She clenched her teeth together to keep them from chattering. After deftly unlocking the bike, she jumped on and followed the familiar path towards home.
She’d come a long way since those dark days after Andrew’s death. In the fourteen months that had passed, she’d recovered both emotionally and physically from the accident that had stolen everything that had been important to her.
But no matter how much she’d healed, she still couldn’t bring herself to get behind the wheel of a car.
Simon mentally smacked himself in the