‘I might’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life, Ty,’ she said. ‘Or it might’ve been the best idea ever. Right now, I just don’t know.’ And it terrified her. She’d already made too many mistakes. ‘I don’t know how Dylan really feels about me. But we both love you.’ She was sure about that. ‘And, whatever happens between us, we’ll make sure that your world stays safe and secure and happy.’
She still didn’t have any solutions by the time that Tyler had his morning nap.
And then a mobile phone shrilled. It wasn’t her ringtone, so the phone must be Dylan’s. He’d obviously left it behind and was probably ringing to find out where he’d left it.
She found the phone and picked it up, intending to answer and tell him yes, he’d left it here, and yes, she could drop it in to the office if he needed it. It wasn’t his name on the screen; but she recognised it immediately. Nadine.
What should she do?
This might be important. She ought to answer it. On the other hand, if she answered the phone and Nadine demanded to know who she was, or got the wrong idea, it could make everything much more complicated.
She grabbed the landline and rang Dylan. ‘You left your mobile behind.’
He groaned. ‘Sorry. Well, don’t think you have to bring it out to me or anything. I’ll manage without it for today.’
‘You might not be able to. Um, Nadine just rang.’
‘Why?’ He sounded shocked. ‘What did she say?’
‘I don’t know. When I saw her name, I was too much of a coward to answer. Sorry.’
‘It’s fine. Probably just as well.’ He sighed. ‘Did she leave a message?’
She glanced at the screen of his phone. ‘It looks like it.’
‘What does it say?’
‘How would I know? I don’t listen in to your messages, Dylan.’
‘It’s probably something to do with paperwork for the divorce,’ he said, and sighed. ‘I’ll sort it out. And I’ll see you later. Em...’
‘Yes?’
‘Never mind. We’ll talk when I get home.’
Emmy spent the morning playing with Tyler. But when the baby had a nap, she looked a few things up on the Internet. And then she really wished that she’d let it go. Now she’d seen a picture of Nadine, she could see that Dylan’s ex was perfect for him. Poised, sleekly groomed, very together—everything that Emmy wasn’t.
And the divorce was taking a very long time to come through. Assuming that they’d split up before Tyler was born...why hadn’t it been settled yet? Did Nadine want him back? Had she heard from a colleague that Dylan was guardian to the baby she’d wanted, and did she think that Dylan might be prepared to give their marriage another chance?
She blew out a breath. OK. Dylan wasn’t a liar and a cheat. He wouldn’t have slept with her if he’d still been in love with his ex. She knew that.
But...
Her relationships always went wrong. What was to say that this would be any different? And there had been that night where he’d pulled her close and murmured Nadine’s name...
The doubts flooded through her, and she just couldn’t shift them. What if Dylan had changed his mind about her? What if, when he came home tonight, he wanted them to go back to their old relationship—at arm’s length and only sharing the baby’s care? What if they got together and, once the first flush of desire had worn off, he started realising how many flaws she had, just as her exes always had? What if he started wanting her to change, and she couldn’t be who he wanted her to be?
Tyler woke; feeding him distracted her for a little bit, but still the thoughts whizzed round her head. And the doubts grew and grew and grew until she felt suffocated by them.
‘I need to think about this,’ she told the baby. ‘I need to work out what I want. Find out what Dylan wants. And I think we need to be apart while we work it out.’
She knew exactly where she could go. Where she’d be welcomed, where the baby would be fussed over, where she’d be able to walk for miles next to the sea. Where she could talk to someone clear-sighted who’d listen and let her work it out.
She rang her great-aunt to check that it was convenient for her to visit, then packed swiftly. ‘We’re going to the sea,’ she told the baby, who cooed at her and clapped his hands. ‘Where I used to go when I was tiny. You’ll like it.’
Then she picked up the phone again. It was only fair to tell Dylan what she planned. Except he was unavailable, in a meeting with a client. This wasn’t the kind of thing she wanted to leave in a message, and she could hardly text him because his mobile phone was still here.
But she could leave him a voicemail.
She dialled his mobile number swiftly and waited for the phone to click through to his voicemail. ‘Dylan, I need some space to think about things,’ she said. ‘To get my head straight. I’m staying at Great-Aunt Syb’s. I’ll text you when I get there so you know we’ve arrived safely.’ Given what had happened to Ally and Pete, she would’ve wanted him to text her if he’d been the one travelling. It was only fair.
* * *
Honestly, Dylan thought, if you were going to leave a message on someone’s voicemail, you could at least make sure you were around to accept the return call.
On the third attempt, he finally got through to Nadine. ‘You wanted to talk to me,’ he said.
‘Yes. I saw that article in the magazine.’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘And Jenny at the office said you were looking after Pete’s son since the accident.’
Where was she going with this? He had a nasty feeling about it. ‘My godson. Yes.’
She dragged in a breath. ‘So you’re a dad.’
Uh-oh. This was exactly what he’d thought she wanted to talk to him about. ‘A stand-in one.’
‘So we could—’
‘No,’ he cut in gently before she could finish her suggestion. ‘Nadine, you’re seeing someone else.’
‘On the rebound from you. I still love you, Dylan. We can stop the divorce going through. All you have to do is say yes. We can make a family together.’
‘It’s not quite the same thing, Nadine. You wanted a baby of your own,’ he reminded her.
‘And we still can. We can have a brother or sister for Tyler.’
‘No. Nadine, it’s over,’ he said, as gently as he could. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘So you’re really—’ she took a deep breath ‘—with that jeweller?’
‘I am,’ he confirmed. And it shocked him how good that made him feel. Tonight, he’d leave the office and go home to Emmy and Tyler. His partner and his child. His unexpected family.
Her voice wobbled. ‘What does she have that I don’t?’
‘That isn’t a fair conversation,’ he said. ‘You’re very different. Opposites, even. But she complements me. And it works.’ He paused. ‘Be happy, Nadine. And try to be happy for me. We’ve both got a chance to make a new life now, to get what we wanted.’
‘I wanted it with you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, guilt flooding through him. ‘But there’s no going