Cesare’s face went hot as he remembered how he’d felt last year when she’d left him staring after her in the window like a fool. He’d been so sure she’d be back. That she wouldn’t be able to resist him.
But she had. Very well.
While he hadn’t even slept with another woman since their last night together, almost a year ago.
How the world would laugh if they knew that little truth about Cesare Falconeri, the famous playboy. They would laugh—sì—they would, because it was pathetic. Fortunately he had no intention of sharing it with anyone. Not even Emma.
He almost had, the first day they’d arrived here, when she’d been so strangely jealous of the silly blonde housekeeper. He’d almost told Emma the truth, but it had caught in his throat. He couldn’t let her know that secret. He would never allow himself to be that vulnerable to anyone ever again.
You love her, the sheikh had accused. Cesare snorted. Love? Ridiculous. Love was a concept for idealistic young souls, the ones who thought lust was not a big enough word to describe their desire. He’d been that way once. He’d married his wife when he was young and stupid. He’d thought sex meant love. He’d learned his lesson well.
Now his eyes narrowed as he watched Emma smile up encouragingly at Leonidas.
Before he realized what he was doing, he was on the dance floor, breaking up their little duo. “I’d like to dance with my fiancée, if you don’t mind.”
Emma had been in the middle of laughing but she looked at Cesare in surprise, as if, he thought grimly, she’d already forgotten his existence. As if she already suspected her power over him, and knew his weakness.
Leonidas looked tempted to make some sarcastic remark, but at Cesare’s scowl, thought better of it. “Alas, my dear,” he sighed to Emma. “I must hand you over to this brute. You belong to him now.”
She gave another low laugh, and it was all Cesare could do not to give the Greek shipping tycoon a good kick on the backside to help speed him off the dance floor. With narrowed eyes, he took Emma in his arms.
“Having fun?” he growled as he felt her soft body against his, in her slinky gown of silver.
“It’s been dreadful.” She peeked up at him. “I’m glad to see you. I know he’s your friend, but I didn’t think I could take much more. Thank you for saving me!”
“Are you sure?” he said through gritted teeth. “The two of you seemed so cozy.”
She blinked. “I was being nice to your friend.”
“Not much nicer, I hope,” he ground out, “or I might have found the two of you making use of a guest bedroom!”
“What’s gotten into you? You’re acting almost—”
“Don’t say it,” he warned.
She tossed her head. “Jealous!”
Cesare set his jaw. “Tell me, what exactly was Leonidas saying that you found so charming?”
Sparks were starting to illuminate her green eyes. “I’m not going to tell you.”
He glared at her. “So you admit that you were flirting.”
“I admit nothing. You are the one who said we shouldn’t ask each other questions!”
“About the past, not the present!”
“That’s fine for you, because as you well know, you are my only past, while your past could fill every bedroom in this mansion. And probably has!”
Her voice caught, and for the first time he heard the ragged edge of repressed tears. He frowned down at her. When he spoke again, his voice was low, barely audible over the music. “What’s wrong?”
“Other than you accusing me of flirting, while I torture myself with questions every time I meet one of your beautiful guests—wondering which ones you’ve slept with in the past? And suspecting—all of them!”
Her voice broke. Her green eyes were luminous with unshed tears. He glanced around uneasily at the women around them. Emma was right. He’d slept with more than one of them. No wonder she was upset. He’d nearly exploded with irrational jealousy, just seeing Leonidas talking to her.
Pulling her tighter in his arms, he swayed them to the music, continuing to dance as he spoke to her in a low voice.
“They were one-night stands, Emma. Meaningless.”
“You called our first night together meaningless, too. The night we conceived our baby.”
He flinched. Then emotion surged through him. He glared at her.
“This is why I wanted our marriage to be in name only. To avoid these arguments and stupid jealousies.”
“You mean the way you practically hit your good friend in the face for the crime of dancing with me and making me laugh?”
For a moment, he scowled at her. Then, getting hold of himself, he took a deep breath.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I never meant...to make you cry.”
Emma looked away, blinking fast. “That’s not why I was crying.”
“What is it, then?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Tell me.”
She swallowed.
“They all think I’m a sly gold digger. All your friends.” She wiped her eyes. “A few women actually congratulated me on tricking you into marriage. Some of them could hardly believe a woman as—well, fat—as me could do it. Others just wanted tips for how to trick billionaire husbands of their own. They wanted to know if I poked holes in the condom wrapper with a needle or what.”
Cesare’s hands tightened on her back. He stared down at her, vibrating with rage as they swayed to the music. “I will take a horsewhip to all of them.”
She gave a small laugh, even as tears spilled down her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter,” she said softly, but he could feel how much that wasn’t true. To her, the simple question of honor and a good name did matter. Her pride had been hurt.
He fiercely wiped a tear off her cheek with her thumb. “You and I, we know the truth.”
“Yes. We do. But I still wish,” she whispered, “we were a million miles from here.”
“From London?”
“As long as we’re in London, I’ll always be your gold-digging housekeeper. And you’ll be the playboy who’s slept with every woman in the city.” She looked up at him with tearful eyes. “I wish we could just go. Move away. Somewhere I’ll never have to wonder, every time I see another woman, if she’s ever been in your bed.” She shuddered. “I hate what my imagination is doing to me—”
“Since the first night we slept together, I haven’t touched another woman.”
Her lips parted. “What?”
Cesare was almost as surprised as she was that he’d said it. But damn it—how could he not tell her? He couldn’t see her pain and do nothing. “It’s true.”
“But—why?”
He stopped on the dance floor.
“I haven’t wanted to,” he said quietly.
“I don’t understand.” Emma shook her head. “If that’s the case, why would you say you wanted a marriage in name only?”
Reaching out, he brushed back some dark hair from the soft skin of her bare shoulder above her gown. “Because all my love affairs have ended badly.”
She swallowed. “Mine, too.”