Relief coursed through him. There was hope. Maybe she wasn’t thinking about the kiss after all.
“I don’t know. I never know why we bother fighting. We both know there’s no point to it. We’re bound for life. It’s inevitable. Nothing will ever come between us. I promise.”
“Good. Because I can’t imagine life without you.” She pulled away from him completely and headed toward the door. “Can you do me a favor?”
She lifted up a worn-out old box and handed it to him. “Will you get rid of this for me?”
“Sure. What is it? Do you want me to donate it or toss it?”
“It’s just some Drew memorabilia. I felt like it was about time I got rid of it.”
He hadn’t been prepared for that. Maybe she was moving on quicker than he had realized. “Really? Are you sure about that?”
“Didn’t you just lecture me on this? Yes, I need it to be gone.”
“Don’t you want to hold onto some of it?” This was a big deal, especially for her.
“I already pulled out my favorites. The rest can go.”
“Okay, but only if you’re sure about it.”
“I am.”
He hadn’t expected a change this quickly. She seemed to be handling it just fine.
“Hey, I have an idea...”
“What?”
“What if we both get a tattoo? You know, like in memory of...”
“You and your tattoos.”
“But I’m serious. It will be fun. Plus, it will be something you have that will always remind you of him, but never take up valuable space in your closet.”
She laughed, and then appeared to be contemplating his suggestion. He waited as she pondered.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Awesome! I’ll call my guy and you think about what you want to get.”
* * *
Micah already knew what she wanted to get. She didn’t need to think too hard on that one. This whole conversation, however, was something else entirely.
She thought he had been talking about the kiss! She had been sitting there mentally preparing herself for the awkward conversation, and he’d thrown her a curveball.
All this time she had thought her friends had considered her annual time of grieving as a minor inconvenience. Sure, she had just come to grips with her own denial of the situation, but she hadn’t realized that Josh had noticed. She’d thought she was in control of it, the way she went about her life in a seemingly healthy manner, only allowing herself one period of time a year to cry. That was normal, right?
So maybe it wasn’t. She had some issues to work through and she would. But never, ever had it crossed her mind that Josh had been aware of it.
Now she found out the truth! Had she always been so clueless? Did all of her friends think the same way Josh did? Did he really see her as someone who had unresolved grief issues? Did he really see her as such an unstable, unhealthy individual?
It was infuriating! All of her hard work over the years had been for nothing. The carefully placed mask had fooled no one but herself.
Argh! She wanted to scream!
Micah had been avoiding him for almost a week now. She wouldn’t take his calls and responded to his texts with one-word answers. Finally he just stopped trying to talk to her. Obviously, she had changed her mind after their talk the other day. What happened to “I can’t imagine life without you”?
Had she been serious when she told him she needed space last week? He was so confused. If she wanted space, he would give it to her. But what if she needed a friend more and just didn’t realize it?
Things had been slow lately at work, which at a fire station was a really good thing, except for the fact that it gave him more time to think about Micah and wonder what she was up to. They had been friends forever. Rarely had a day passed in the last several years that they didn’t talk to one another. It was just how their relationship worked. Best friends. Always.
Josh had the day off, so after calling up Jamie, he decided to head up to his place for a long overdue visit to the farm. He knew after Jamie had cut out early the other night that this anniversary had been hard on him, too.
Drew and Jamie had been cousins, but acted more like brothers. He knew it was hard on Jamie, but the man refused to talk about it. Talking about his emotions was just something Jamie would never do, not that Josh would ever force him. Two men talking about their feelings could get real uncomfortable, real fast. But helping him out at the farm for the day would at least show him he cared. That was enough. At least he hoped it would be.
Josh took the longer way around the city to avoid traffic and headed north. Jamie’s family farm was almost an hour outside of the city. Just close enough to enjoy the city, but far enough away to enjoy the country. That’s just how Jamie liked it. None of it appealed much to Josh, though. He preferred the hustle and bustle of Boston. He wouldn’t trade it for anything. But he had to admit, it sure was pretty this time of year.
Jamie’s house was surrounded by heavily wooded areas, all painted in the shades of fall. The trees grew tall, arching over the road Jamie lived on. Micah would have loved taking this drive and seeing all the leaves changing colors. Man, that girl had a way of creeping back into his thoughts.
He shook his head, clearing his mind as he turned down the long driveway to Jamie’s house at the back of the property. The heads of horses and other random farm animals popped over the fences to check out their visitor. The smell smacked him in the face long before he parked the truck and got out.
“How do you handle this smell?”
“It’s nice to see you, too!” Jamie laughed as he came out the front door and stood on the deck. His flannel shirt, torn and dirty, showed he had already put in a lot of work today.
“How are you doing, man?”
“Good. You?”
“Doing all right. No complaints. Thought I’d come help you out today. Get my mind off some stuff.”
“Sure. Could always use some help.”
They fell into an easy rhythm feeding the animals and cleaning out stalls. There wasn’t any reason to talk, but for some reason Josh couldn’t help himself. “Micah was really upset you left early the other night.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that. Figured it was time we all moved on, anyway.”
“Yeah. We were thinking the same thing.”
“Is she doing okay? Every time any of you bring her up, you sound worried. I haven’t really talked to her in forever. I feel kind of guilty.”
“We’ve all been worried, but then she woke up one morning last week and seemed over it. Now I can’t get her to return my calls.”
Jamie stopped what he was doing and looked at Josh.
“What?” Josh stopped as well and leaned on the pitchfork he was using.
“Is she dating?”
“Don’t know.” His shoulders moved up and down in a careless shrug. “Sabina insinuated that she was going to be setting her up.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Seriously? You gonna