‘It’s not going to work for me. I’m not going to ask someone to live their life like that for me. I’m not going to leave a family in the lurch if I happen not to come back. I’m not doing that to my kid.’
Raw vehemence tinged his voice, betraying emotion. A personal connection to the words? Who had he seen not come back?
She frowned as she rinsed off, wishing she were up close enough to see into his eyes. His family published the world’s most popular independent travel guides. His grandfather had started it, his parents were also intrepid travellers. He and his brothers had grown up with the world at their feet. They were the ultimate success story. Living the American dream—independent, ambitious and happy, right?
‘Maybe you wouldn’t travel so much when you’re settled. You’d take fewer risks,’ she said.
His expression shuttered, he reached for a towel and held it out to her. ‘I’m not changing my job for anyone. I’ll never stop doing what I do. And I’d never be able to compromise it, not for anyone.’
Caitlin stepped out of the shower and wrapped the large towel around her. ‘Work will always come first for you.’ A little patch in her chest ached, but she got it.
His stance stiffened and he crossed his arms, regarding her steadily. ‘I love my job. I need to—’
‘It’s okay.’ She smiled peaceably, walking back into the bedroom. ‘You don’t have to justify it. I understand, I’ve seen it before. It’s what you’re driven to do.’
He regarded her, the defensiveness draining from his shoulders. ‘Who else do you know like that?’
‘My father. My sister.’ She shrugged. Nothing but work mattered to them—for different reasons. Her father because he sought the fame and the fortune and he’d do almost anything to get it. Her sister simply because she loved it. She loved losing herself in a character, into someone else’s life. Even better that the someone else wasn’t even real. Work was everything to them, coming ahead of anything and anyone else. Even family. That was the way it was.
Caitlin had thought she was okay with it. Over it. Until the Dominic mess. Until she’d been pilloried by the press and her family still hadn’t stepped up to defend her. That had just ripped the scab off the old wound. Now she found it festered.
Now she would never put herself in that situation again. No relationship, no man was worth being second to anything else in his life—certainly not career. No matter how heroic he might be.
But curiosity mounted as Caitlin sorted through the clothes in her suitcase—why was James so driven? The guy had money, she knew that. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have to work a day in his life if he didn’t actually want to. So what made him want to so much?
‘What led you into it,’ she asked. ‘You always wanted to be a doctor?’
‘I guess.’ He leaned against the wall, watching as she dressed. ‘One of those games we all play as kids, right?’
‘But why search and rescue specifically?’
‘I did a stint in emergency field work as part of my training and it just fit. I knew that’s what I wanted to do. I made sure that’s what I did. All my training from then on was directed that way.’
His reply was so glib, she was sure it was the PR answer again. The one he’d given many times when all those people wanted his story after that landslide photo. If she searched on his iPad she’d probably find the quote almost verbatim in one of those articles spotlighting him. But it didn’t seem to fully explain that deep drive—was there another reason he was compelled to work so much?
He walked up to her, suddenly turning her to face him.
‘Let’s go sightseeing.’ He framed her face, tilting it so she couldn’t look away from him. ‘You can’t hide—it’s like you’ve let them put you in a prison. You shouldn’t. You’re not guilty.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s not that.’
He ran his hand down her spine, as if he were soothing a spitting cat. ‘Then what?’ He drew her close so she leant against his body.
She didn’t want to resist. How could she? But she might make him pay. ‘Okay. I’ll come out with you. But there can be no PDA.’
He tugged her hair so she lifted her face. He stared at her in disbelief. ‘You’re that paranoid?’
‘The photographers might not know me. But they know you. You’re like royalty here.’
She saw the denial flare in his eyes. ‘You’re worried about being photographed with me?’
She nodded.
He threw his head back and laughed. ‘That’s ridiculous.’
She put her palms on his chest and pushed, freeing herself. ‘It is not.’
‘It is.’ He laughed again. ‘But okay. If that’s what it’ll take, then no PDA. You want to walk five paces behind me as well?’
‘Not a bad idea,’ she said loftily. ‘That way I can check out your butt.’
His eyes glittered wickedly. ‘Come on. Come with me now and I’ll let you do a lot more than check out my butt later.’
It wasn’t quite five paces behind, but Caitlin did linger just a little as they walked outside the apartment building, purely to check out his mighty fine butt.
* * *
James walked up to the yellow taxi idling at the kerb. Tired but determined to do this for Caitlin. The right thing. She couldn’t spend the next fortnight doing nothing but having sex with him. Much as he’d love exactly that. Except he knew he wouldn’t—if he lay still too long, thoughts began to bug him.
He bent his head to look through the window and grinned at the driver who’d picked him up from the airport only a couple of days before. Oddly, it felt like a lifetime ago. Life had changed. ‘Thanks so much,’ he said.
‘Any time.’
‘I might need you for a couple of days,’ James warned.
‘No problem. Where you want to go first?’
‘I’ll tell you in a minute.’ James straightened and turned to find Caitlin. She was just in front of the entrance to the building, studiously—obviously—ogling him. He laughed. ‘Come on, then, woman.’ He winked.
‘We’re going by taxi?’ She looked pretty damn happy at the sight of the yellow car.
‘I massaged those sore feet of yours last night, remember?’ James teased. ‘I’m saving myself from the task tonight.’
She reached up on tiptoes and murmured in his ear. ‘Maybe I’ll require a massage anyway.’
Before he could wrap an arm around her waist and hussle her back home pronto, she stepped out of reach and opened the cab door, sliding inside.
James took a moment to inhale deep and tell himself he could manage the no-PDA thing. Climbing into the cab after her, he chuckled inwardly at her outrageous demands. The woman who’d been so tart and scathing that first night sure had a naughty streak. He loved it. Loved that she felt free enough with him to release it.
He knew she didn’t usually. Hell, she was blushing now, even though she’d said her little vixen bit already. But it was because of the deal they’d struck—an unlimited, evanescent fling. It gave them both a kind of freedom.
‘So where are we going?’ She turned towards him as she asked, her eyes alert, face shining.
His tour-guide trick had been a damn good idea. The no PDA thing? Not so