‘Which is no doubt why you wanted a shallow smokescreen marriage to impress your business contacts,’ she put in. ‘I can’t believe I agreed to it. I never wanted to turn out like my poor mother, preening herself constantly in case her wayward husband strayed to someone slimmer or better looking or better groomed or better dressed.’
Javier frowned at the sudden vehemence of her words. Her face was pinched and her mouth tight and her shoulders tense. Without her veneer of sophistication, she looked young and vulnerable, and yet she looked far more beautiful than he had ever seen her. ‘I didn’t realise you felt like that,’ he said after a little pause. ‘You always seemed so confident. I didn’t know you felt so unsure of yourself.’
Her throat moved up and down, as if she regretted revealing her insecurities to him. ‘I haven’t been honest with you,’ she said. ‘I mean right from the start. I should have told you but I was frightened you would walk away, that I would appear too needy or something. I guess back then I wanted you on any terms. I was prepared to suspend everything I wanted in life to be with you.’
He reached out a hand and picked up one of hers, entwining his fingers with her soft trembling ones. ‘I don’t want to lose you, querida,’ he said. ‘But I can only give you what I can give you. It might not be enough.’
She pressed her lips together, he assumed to stop herself from crying, but even so her eyes moistened. ‘I want to be loved, Javier,’ she said softly. ‘I want to be loved the way my mother craved to be loved but never got to be loved. I want to wake up each morning knowing the man I love is right there by my side, supporting me, loving me, cherishing me.’ She drew in an uneven breath and added in an even softer voice, ‘And I want a baby.’
Javier felt a shockwave go through his chest. He recalled his lonely childhood: the ache of sudden loss, the devastation of being cast aside by his father after his mother had died. He could not face the responsibility of being a parent. He would mess it up, for sure. Even people from secure backgrounds occasionally ran into trouble with their kids. What chance would he have? He would end up ruining a child’s potential, crippling them emotionally, stunting their development or making them hate him as much as he had ended up hating his own father for his inadequacies.
He couldn’t risk it.
He would not risk it.
‘That is not negotiable,’ he found himself saying in a cold hard voice that he could scarcely believe was coming from his throat. ‘There is no way I want children. I told you that right from the start and you were in total agreement.’
She looked at him with anguished eyes that scored his soul. ‘I only accepted those terms because I was blindsided by love. I still love you, Javier, more than ever, but I don’t want to miss out on having children.’
Javier pushed out his chair and got to his feet. ‘You can’t spring this sort of stuff on me, Emelia,’ he said. ‘Less than a month ago everything was fine between us. It was fine for almost two years. You did your thing. I did mine.’ He pointed his finger at her. ‘You are the one who suddenly changed things.’
Emelia put up her chin. ‘I’m tired of doing things your way. I’m tired of seeing your picture splashed over every international paper with yet another wannabe model or starlet. Surely you have more control over who you are seen with?’
He clamped down on his jaw. ‘The person I should be seen with is my wife,’ he said. ‘But she is always too busy shopping in another country or having her hair or nails done.’
Emelia flinched at his stinging words. But perhaps the sliver of truth in them was what hurt the most. She had been caught up in the world of being his wife instead of being his companion and soulmate. There was a big difference and it was a shame it had taken this long for her to see it. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I thought I was doing what you wanted.’
There was a stiff silence.
‘Forget I said that,’ Javier said. ‘I didn’t exactly make it easy on you on the few occasions you came with me. I am perhaps too task-oriented. I tend to focus on the big picture and lose sight of the details.’
‘We’ve both made mistakes,’ she said. ‘I guess we just have to try not to make them again.’
He pushed his hand through his hair. ‘I want this to work, Emelia,’ he said. ‘I want us to be happy, like we were before.’
‘Javier, you were happy but I wasn’t, not really,’ she said. ‘My accident has shown me what a lie I’ve been living. The woman you want in your life is not the one I am now. I have never been that person.’
He came over and took her hands in his, pulling her to his feet. ‘You were happy, Emelia,’ he said, squeezing her hands for effect. ‘I gave you everything money could buy. You wanted for nothing. I made sure of it.’
Emelia tried to pull away but he held firm. ‘You’re not listening to me, Javier. We can’t go back to what we were before. I can’t go back.’
‘Let’s see about that, shall we?’ he said and brought his mouth down hard on hers.
At first Emelia made a token resistance but her heart wasn’t in it. She wanted him any way she could get him, even if it was in anger or to prove a point. At least he was showing some emotion, even if it was not the one she most wanted him to demonstrate. She kissed him back with the same heat and fire, her tongue tangling with his in a sensual battle of wills.
He pressed her back against the nearest wall, pulling down the zip at the back of her dress, letting it fall into a black puddle at her feet, his mouth still locked on hers. She clawed at his waistband, her fingers releasing his belt in a quest to uncover him.
He tore his mouth off hers. ‘Not here,’ he said. ‘Aldana might come in to clear the table. Let’s take this upstairs.’
Emelia had her chance then to call an end to this madness but still she let her heart rule her head. Later, she barely recalled how they got upstairs; she seemed to remember the journey was interspersed with hot drugging kisses that ramped up her need of him unbearably.
By the time they got to the bedroom she was almost delirious with desire. He came down heavily on top of her on the bed, his weight pinning her, his mouth crushing hers in a red-hot kiss that made her toes curl.
He removed her bra and cupped her breasts possessively, subjecting them to the fiery brand of his mouth. He went lower, over the plane of her belly, lingering over the dish of her belly button before he parted her thighs. She gulped in a breath as he stroked her with his tongue, the raw intimacy as he tasted her making her spine unhinge. She felt the tension building and building to snapping point, the waves of pleasure coming towards her from a distance and then suddenly they swamped her, tossing her around and around in a wild sea of sensual pleasure that superseded anything she had felt before.
Then he drove into her roughly at first and then checked himself, murmuring something that sounded like an apology before he continued in a rhythmic motion that triggered all of her senses into another climb to the summit of release. His thrusts came closer together, a little deeper each time, his breathing intervals shortening as he approached the ultimate moment.
Emelia felt her body preparing for another freefall into pleasure. She pushed her hips up to intensify the feeling his body provoked as it rubbed against her point of pleasure, her breathing becoming increasingly ragged as she felt the tremors begin. This time when her orgasm started she pushed against him as if trying to expel him from her body, the action triggering her G spot, sending her into an earth-shattering release that rippled through her for endless seconds.
Javier came with an explosive rush, his deep grunt of ecstasy sending shivers of delight down Emelia’s spine. This was the only time she felt he allowed himself to be vulnerable. She clung to him as he emptied himself, the shudders of his body as it pinned her to the bed reverberating through her. She kept her arms wrapped around him, hoping he wouldn’t