‘I don’t know anything,’ he said. ‘Women have a distinct advantage when it comes to sex. They don’t have to prove arousal physically.’
‘Why on earth would I bother pretending to enjoy it if I didn’t?’ she demanded. ‘Like you said, it’s the one thing we have. As long as it lasts, at any rate.’
Zac kept his gaze on the road ahead, his expression impassive. ‘You see an end in sight?’
Swallowing on the lump in her throat, Jessica gave a brief shrug. ‘Not yet, but you know what they say about the first flush.’
‘Then we’d better make the most of it,’ he said.
There was no further mention of the job business, but Jessica had no intention of giving up on it. Obviously, Zac wasn’t going to find her anything, so she would fend for herself.
Chapter Seven
IT DIDN’T prove easy. Well thought of though she’d been in her previous job, her qualifications and experience fell somewhat short of requirements in London it seemed. After being accustomed to working for one man, the thought of general clerking held little appeal. The alternative was to find something completely different.
A part-time position advertised at a Kensington food store was too good an opportunity to miss. Working ten till four, five days a week, there was no need for Zac to know anything about it.
Jessica started on checkout, finding the work repetitive but not unendurable, the other staff friendly. The salary was no big deal, but it at least gave her some sense of independence.
Zac accepted her excuse that she’d been out shopping without question when he mentioned trying to get in touch a couple of times. He didn’t say why he’d wanted to speak to her, and Jessica hesitated to ask. Relations between them were strained enough as it was. Largely due to her, she had to admit. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t come to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t be here at all in normal circumstances.
She did her best to appear properly grateful when he presented her with a mobile for use in emergencies, making a mental note to get rid of the one she’d had for years and rarely bothered with. It would have to be switched off when she was at work, of course, so she could only hope he wouldn’t have cause to try contacting her during those hours.
The only place the barriers dropped completely was in bed. When Zac made love to her, nothing else existed. His unflagging desire was the one thing that kept her going. It couldn’t last, of course. Not to the same degree. One of these nights he would plead tiredness after a long day, and the end would have begun.
Only too well aware of what Leonie’s opinion would be, she made no mention of the job to her either, making out, when asked, that she was content to hang fire for a while on the matter. Her cousin was pretty busy with her own concerns, as it happened, leaving little opportunity for getting together. She brought Greg with her the one time she came to dinner at the mews, though still denying any serious involvement.
‘I’m just not cut out for marriage,’ she said in the kitchen where the two of them were making coffee while the men talked. ‘Maybe I’ll change my mind when I’m old and lonely, but in the meantime I’m happy the way I am—beholden to nobody.
‘It certainly suits you though,’ she added with a smiling glance. ‘The look of a woman fully and frequently satisfied. Not that I’d expect any less of Zac, of course.’
Jessica let the comment pass, knowing there was no malice in the teasing. She still found it difficult to think about Leonie and Zac together in any intimate sense, but there was no point in getting upset about it. She was the one he made love to these days. The only one—or she’d better be!
The weekend they spent in Edinburgh with Isabel proved a great deal more enjoyable than she anticipated. The family consisted of a brother and wife, along with two married children who both lived within a few miles of the city with families of their own. Asked when they might consider taking the step themselves, Zac took it on himself to answer for them both with a smile and a shrug, giving the impression that they were already trying.
‘I’m not having a baby just to please your grandfather!’ Jessica stated when they were alone.
‘I’m not asking you to,’ Zac returned levelly. ‘If we started a family, it would be because we both of us wanted it.’
Unlikely, then, Jessica reflected, stifling the pang. Children belonged in a proper, balanced relationship based on love and commitment, not an arrangement like theirs that could end any time.
‘Sarah must be getting close now,’ she said. ‘Brady would have let you know, wouldn’t he?’
‘You can bet on it.’ Zac’s tone was dry. ‘He insisted on knowing the sex as soon as it was possible. If it had proved to be a girl, he’d have gone up in flames! Sons are de rigueur in his eyes.’
Looking at him through the dressing table mirror as he slid cuff links into place, Jessica felt the usual stirring in the pit of her stomach, the wave of heat building swiftly from that central core. From the top of his well-groomed dark head to the tip of his hand-made shoes, he was pure masculinity. She wanted him desperately—any way she could have him, and for as long as she could have him.
Sensing her regard, he looked round, meeting her eyes through the mirror with a familiar glint springing in his own.
‘You’re insatiable!’ he said softly. ‘Not that I’m complaining. What man would?’
He came over and drew her to her feet, bending his head to kiss his way up the taut line of her throat to finally reach her lips. Jessica kissed him back with passion. She came down to earth with reluctance when he put her regretfully from him.
‘We’ll get back to this later. We’re due at the restaurant in twenty minutes. Don’t go cold on me.’
Some chance, she thought wryly. All he had to do was touch her to have the blood throbbing in her veins again.
They’d flown up on the Friday night. They travelled back Sunday evening, arriving home around midnight.
Zac was normally out of the house by eight-thirty at the latest. This particular Monday it was coming up to half-past nine when he finally departed, leaving Jessica to throw her things together and dash for the bus she knew had no chance of getting her to work on time.
She was twenty minutes late, and earned herself a severe ticking off from the self-important manager. Jessica controlled the urge to tell him what he could do with the job. Finding another offering the same advantages when it came to hours and proximity would be difficult, and she still couldn’t face the thought of spending her days mooning around the house. In any case, she would miss the friends she’d already made here.
‘Sour-faced old prune!’ sympathised one of the latter who’d been in the vicinity, as Jessica took her place at the next checkout desk. ‘Bet his wife gave him the elbow last night. Not that I’d blame her. He’s a real misery guts!’
‘I was late,’ Jessica returned ruefully. ‘I suppose he had reason to get a bit shirty.’
‘A bit!’ The other snorted. ‘Doesn’t know the meaning of moderation, that one!’
Jessica turned her attention to the young woman who’d just unloaded her trolley onto the belt, saying a cheery ‘Hello’ to the toddler in the folding seat. A boy around two years old, he returned her gaze with solemn intensity.
‘He’s been chattering away all round the shop,’ declared his mother in fond exasperation. ‘Now you’d think he didn’t have a tongue in his head!’
Jessica smiled. ‘He’s quite right not to talk to strangers. What’s his name?’
‘Gavin,’ she supplied. ‘Just three, and a total pickle! I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t been quite so emphatic about not having a nanny