Lindy laughed at the visual image of Susan holding the boys while Jeff brought around the garden hose.
Rush’s friend strolled to his wife’s side and slipped his arm around her slim waist. Susan was a full head shorter than her husband and fit neatly into his embrace. “Are you ready for me to put the steaks on the grill?”
Susan nodded and leaned her supple form against her husband. She went up on tiptoe and brushed a kiss over his cheek. She paused then and smiled up at him. “Anytime you want.”
Lindy watched, fascinated by the tender exchange between husband and wife. From what little Susan had told her she knew the couple had gotten off to a rocky start. They’d worked hard to find happiness together and it showed. Jeff and Susan didn’t require words to communicate. A shared look, a soft sigh would often be all that was required. How Lindy envied them. How she wished everything was settled between her and Rush. But it wasn’t. And he’d be leaving her in just a few, intolerably short days.
* * *
They caught the nine o’clock ferry back to Seattle. Jeff dropped them off at the terminal and after Susan and Lindy had shared hugs and Lindy had kissed the boys goodbye, Lindy and Rush walked onto the waiting boat.
Although he shouldn’t have been, Rush was astonished at the way Lindy and Susan had become such fast friends. The two had talked and laughed as if they’d known each other since childhood. Now that he thought about it, the two women were quite a bit alike. Both were intelligent, sensitive and personable. And both were in love with navy men. It took a special breed of woman to fit into the military life-style, to accept the long separations, brief reunions and the fact that family must always come second in their husbands’ lives.
Both Lindy and he had come away from the evening refreshed. Jeff had given definition to the unknown emotions Rush had been dealing with the past two days. Rush had asked his friend how he managed to leave Susan and the twins and not look back—and had witnessed the instant flash of regret that shot into his friend’s eyes. Jeff had explained that the last days before he sailed were always the worst. He didn’t want to leave Susan, didn’t want to think of not being able to love her for months on end. Nor did he like to think about all that he was missing in his children’s lives. He’d been at sea when their first teeth had come in, and on sea trials when they’d taken their first steps. Now he’d be leaving them again, and his mind was crowded with everything he wasn’t going to be there to experience.
Then Jeff had asked Rush if he’d had a fight with Lindy recently. Rush’s astonishment must have shown because Jeff had laughed and said the same thing happened to him and Susan every time he found out when he’d be sailing. Like clockwork. His fault, usually. But he and Susan had made a promise to each other long ago. No matter what they fought about, they never left anything unsettled between them.
“I’m going to stand outside,” Lindy said, cutting into Rush’s thoughts. The ferry had been underway for about twenty minutes. She stood and buttoned her sweater before heading for the weather deck.
“Sure. Go ahead,” Rush answered. He didn’t mind the long ride to and from the shipyard each day. Most of the navy personnel lived in Kitsap County, across Puget Sound from Seattle. But Rush preferred the cultural advantages of living in a big city.
Rush watched as Lindy moved outside the passenger area and stood against the stern, her hands on the rail. The wind whipped the hair from her face and plastered her thin sweater against her soft curves.
Just watching Lindy, Rush felt his heart constrict. When she’d been holding Timmy and Tommy, laughing with them, bouncing the twins on her hips, Rush hadn’t been able to tear his gaze away from her. The earth could have opened up and swallowed him whole and he swore he wouldn’t have been aware of it.
Seeing her with those two babies had been the most powerful, most emotional moment of his life. The sudden overwhelming physical desire for her was like a knife slicing into his skin and scraping against a bone—it had gone that deep. Not once, not even with Cheryl had he thought about children. He enjoyed Jeff’s sons. They were cute little rascals, but seeing Lindy with those babies had created a need so strong in him he doubted that his life would ever be the same again. He wanted a child. Son or daughter, he didn’t care. What did matter was that Lindy be their mother.
Even now, hours later, his eyes couldn’t get enough of her as she stood, braced against the wind. He thought about her belly swollen with his seed, her breasts full and heavy, and the desire that stabbed through him was like hot needles. The sensation curled into a tight ball in the center of his abdomen. He’d longed for her physically before now. The thought of making love to her had dominated his thoughts from the first morning he’d stumbled upon her in the bathroom wearing those sexy see-through baby-doll pajamas.
But the physical desire he was experiencing now far exceeded anything he’d previously known. And it was different in ways he couldn’t even begin to explain.
Unable to stay parted from her a minute longer, Rush left his seat and stepped outside, joining her at the railing.
Wordlessly he slipped his arm over her shoulder. Lindy looked up at him, and her eyes were unusually dark and solemn. The effort it cost her to smile was revealed in the feeble movement of her mouth.
“Lindy?”
She pressed her index finger across his lips the way she did when she didn’t want there to be questions between them. Although she strove valiantly to prevent them, tears filled her sweet, adoring gaze. Inhaling a wobbly breath, she pressed her forehead against his chest in a vain attempt to compose herself.
Rush wrapped his arms around her, needing to comfort her, feeling strangely lost as to what to say or do, and not completely understanding what was wrong. Her lithe frame molded against him and he reveled in the feel of her softness pressed to him. “Honey, what is it?”
She shook her head. “Susan said…”
“She offend you?” Rush couldn’t imagine it, and yet the anger rose in him instantly.
Lindy swiftly jerked her head from side to side. “No…no, of course not.” Her arms were around his middle now, her eyes as dry as she could make them. But her chin quivered with the effort.
She lifted a hand and touched the side of his face, her eyes full of such tenderness that it was all Rush could do to meet her gaze.
“Do you remember the night we met?”
He grinned. “I’m not likely to forget it. I nearly tossed you into the street.”
“You were perfectly horrible. So uncompromising…so unreadable.”
“So arrogant,” he added, regretting every harsh word he’d ever said to her.
The corner of her mouth quirked with a swift smile. “A good dose of healthy arrogance to put me in my place as I recall.”
He brushed the hair from her face and nodded, resisting kissing her, although it was difficult.
“I disliked you so much…. I actually looked forward to thwarting you. I could hardly wait for you to leave. And now…now I dread it. I wish I could be more like Susan. She’s so brave.”
“She’s had far more experience at this than you.” Rush searched her face, and under his scrutiny the normally cool, composed features began to quiver with unspoken anguish. He understood then. She was afraid, almost desperately so, and bravely holding it all inside. Pierced to the quick by his own thoughtlessness, he tightened his grip on her and breathed in the sweet flowery fragrance of her silky dark hair.
“Honey, nothing’s going to happen to me.”
“But…the gunboats…the missiles.”