“Of course she is.” Trinity rubbed a hand over her belly. “Like I have the energy to go all the way up there.”
“I can go find her,” I offered. “I need to learn my way around anyway.”
“I’ll walk you,” Roo said. “If I’m coming for dinner, I should go home and change.”
“Will you just drive me?” Trinity whined. “I need to go to the store and I can’t reach the clutch anymore.”
“Sure,” he said agreeably. “Emma, you want to ride along?”
“She should go help with dinner,” Trinity said. Now I was She. “Mimi said to tell her to.”
Roo looked at me. “Oh. Right. Well, rain check.”
“Sounds good,” I said, making a point to act like it was no big deal. Still, as Trinity and Roo started down the dock without me, I felt another sting, this one a sort of shame. Despite all my mom had told me about the lake, none of it explained why so far at least half the females I’d met had disliked or outright hated me on sight.
Now, back at the table, I looked out the window to the sandy beach below the house, where Roo, Trinity, and Jack were sitting in lawn chairs, eating their own dinners. We’d all fixed our plates together, assembly-line style, but it was only after I’d sat down that I realized the table was too small for everyone, and this contingent was eating outside. Which left me with Celeste, Mimi, and Bailey, as Gordon was again lost in her Allies book.
“So,” Mimi said to me. “You getting situated? Meet everyone out at the raft?”
I nodded, finishing my bite of potato salad before saying, “A few people, yeah.”
“Taylor got up in her face,” Bailey said, adjusting the tomato on her burger.
“What?” Mimi said. “Why?”
“Because she was with Jack, and Taylor’s got major jealousy issues.” She rolled her eyes. “Even when they’re together, they’re fighting.”
“It’s not easy to disconnect from someone totally in a place as small as this,” Celeste pointed out.
“Says the woman who married and divorced the same man twice,” Bailey said.
I blinked: this was news to me. Another thing to add to my family tree.
Mimi chuckled. “She’s got you there, Celeste.”
Celeste, hardly bothered, reached for the bowl of potato chips. “I’ve got to tell you, Saylor, when I saw you coming in with Roo, man, it brought back some memories. Wild to see you two together, after how close you were as kids.”
“Wait, what?” I said. Now I felt even worse about our first meeting at the dock, when he’d looked so surprised. “We were?”
“You don’t remember?” I shook my head. “Well, I guess maybe you wouldn’t. You were babies. But yeah, that time you stayed here, you two were like frick and frack. Always together.”
“Remember the best friend hug?” Mimi said, smiling.
“The what?” Bailey asked.
“Whenever Roo and Saylor had been together and then had to split up, they did their best friend hug. Just clung to each other. Lord, it was the cutest.”
Bailey, bemused, glanced at me, and I was pretty sure I blushed. Evidently, embarrassment had no statute of limitations.
“It got me thinking about Waverly and Chris, which of course got me in the gut,” Celeste said to Mimi. “Those two really were inseparable.”
“He did mention that, actually,” I said. “How my mom and his dad were friends.”
“Those Prices. All such sweet boys,” Mimi said, looking out the window. Roo was saying something to Jack, who was grinning, as Trinity, still sour-faced, looked on. “I just hate all Roo’s been through, with his daddy and everything.”
“He said his dad doesn’t live here anymore,” I said. “Where is he?”
There are all kinds of silences. Natural ones, when conversation just ebbs after a flow. Awkward, just after someone’s said something they shouldn’t. The worst, though, are shocked silences, when no one can speak at all. This was one of those.
“He died, honey,” Mimi said finally. “Before you two were born. Boating accident.”
I didn’t know what to say. All I could do, in fact, was look at Roo again while running through my mind again the moment earlier when I’d asked if his dad was still local. There had been a silence then, too, but only the briefest one, like a song missing a beat. He hadn’t wanted to make me feel bad for being so ignorant. The way I felt right now.
“Oh, my God.” I put my hand to my mouth, horrified. “I had no idea. I’m such an idiot.”
“It’s okay,” Mimi said. When I just sat there, blinking, she added, “Saylor. You didn’t know.”
Down below the house, Jack was now on his feet, his plate empty except for a crumpled napkin. Roo got up as well, then extended a hand to Trinity, pulling her to a standing position. For him, she smiled.
“So. Saylor,” Mimi said. “You going out with the kids tonight?”
I looked at Bailey, who was back on her phone. She didn’t say anything, and the last thing I wanted was to yet again be forced on anyone. “I’m pretty tired, actually.”
“Well, in case you change your mind,” Celeste said, “Bailey, give Emma your number.”
Bailey sighed. “You guys. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous.”
I felt my face blush again. Here I’d thought this cousin was the nice one, but clearly even she was sick of dealing with me. I said quickly, “She doesn’t have—”
“I mean,” Bailey continued, over me, “is it Emma or is it Saylor? Because so far I’m hearing both, interchangeably. It’s super confusing.”
Everyone looked at me. So it wasn’t me that was annoying. Just my names. I said, “At home, I’ve always been Emma. Except if my mom was talking to me.”
“Which is why I keep calling you Saylor,” Mimi said softly. “Sorry. But she loved that name.”
I bit my lip, hearing this. It had been a long day indeed, if this was the thing that would make me cry.
“How about this,” Bailey said to me. “You think about it and let me know. Whatever you say, it sticks. Officially. Deal?”
I nodded. In time, maybe I’d figure this out.
“And give me your phone,” she added. “I’ll put in my number.”
I swallowed, trying to pull it together, as I took my phone out of my pocket, unlocking the screen and sliding it over. BAILEY, I watched her type, then the digits.
“There,” she said, returning it to me. Across the table, Mimi was watching us, but I couldn’t read her expression. Half-sad, half-happy, all hard to explain. Like she was seeing something I wouldn’t have, even from the same vantage point. “We’re leaving here at eight. Let me know if you change your mind.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”
After dinner, I went to my room, where I opened my notebook again to the family tree I’d started. SILAS, I wrote, next to Celeste, then drew a line through it. Twice. (There had to be a story there.) I added Amber under Joe, with a question mark, and Anna Gordon below her. So many gaps still to fill, but I was getting there.
Downstairs, I could hear Bailey and Trinity as they got ready in the kitchen and