She might be getting her occasional period, Freya thought, but then glanced at the packet of pills she had been taking since the second night in his hotel room.
And then she put it out of her mind.
It was nice to be able to open a drawer and pull on some yoga pants and a top rather than scrabble on the floor for last night’s clothes.
And, she decided as she combed her hair and tied it back, if she went to the hotel again, next time she was going to bring some things.
He might choose to live out of luggage.
Not she.
‘Do you need a hand?’ Zack called as she came into the kitchen.
‘No, thanks.’
Freya grilled two steaks, one massive, one smaller, and she made a large salad. He watched her measuring everything out when he’d have just thrown it in.
Two spoons of oil, one of vinegar, a quarter of a teaspoon of salt.
And she could feel him watching her from the balcony but she wasn’t going to change her routines for him.
She carried them out and he got the massive steak and she and Cleo shared the smaller one.
‘I’m going to ache tomorrow,’ Freya said. ‘It’s been ages since I rode. I should try and get around to it more often.’
‘And me,’ Zack said. ‘It’s been great. I’m so glad I didn’t give it up.’
‘Why would you give it up?’
‘My brother was killed in a riding accident. You know how they say get back on the horse...’
‘Zack!’ Freya was appalled. ‘This must bring up some—’
‘Freya, it does and it doesn’t. I love riding; I miss that part of home. I don’t spend my life avoiding thinking about my brother. It’s there every day, the same way your eating disorder is. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes not so much, but it’s a part of your past that has to live with the you of today.’
It was always there, a part of her past that could never be erased.
The fattest pug he had ever seen looked up at him. ‘Not a chance,’ Zack said, but cut off a piece.
‘Don’t give it to her,’ Freya said. ‘She’s already had some.’
‘How old is she?’
‘Thirteen,’ Freya said. ‘James got her for me when I came out of rehab.’
‘Did it help?’
‘Very much,’ Freya said. ‘I didn’t have Red and a group of neighbours then and dogs don’t forget mealtimes...’ She looked at Cleo and she could hear her heavy breathing. ‘I don’t think I’ll have her for much longer. Still, the vet says that if she loses some weight it will help with her joints. I can’t imagine my life without her.’ And then she shook her head. ‘Sorry.’
‘For what?’
‘We’ve been talking about you losing a brother...’
‘Freya,’ Zack said. ‘Losing Cleo will hurt.’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘James thinks I should get another puppy before she dies.’ She rolled her eyes.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and James?’
‘I told you.’
‘You two haven’t been talking since before this morning.’
She looked at Zack and Freya was confused. She was handing over more and more of her life, yet she wanted to.
Freya trusted him, she knew nothing would go further than them.
‘When we were growing up, as dysfunctional as it was, my parents were involved in a lot of overseas charities. They’d take James and me along for photoshoots and things but a lot of good was done. James pours everything into The Hills and it annoyed me that there was no charitable side to it. He avoids that sort of thing.’
‘A lot of people do.’
‘Not James,’ Freya said. ‘And last year we had a discussion and he said if I found the right charity and handled all the PR side of it, he’d implement it. Anyway, I didn’t have to look far. I already knew about Bright Hope. My good friend Mila runs it.’
‘I met her when I saw Paulo,’ Zack said. ‘Actually, there’s another patient she wants me to review. She seems nice. Very dedicated.’
‘She’s James’s ex,’ Freya said.
‘Oh! I see.’
‘Believe me, you don’t. She and I have remained friends. I just told James that Mila’s the founder of Bright Hope.’
‘How could he not have known?’
‘Because the reason he avoids anything that combines medicine and aid work is because Mila is so heavily involved in it. She works overseas but she came back and started the foundation...’
‘Was it a bad break-up?’
‘The worst,’ Freya said. ‘He jilted her on their wedding day.’
Oh, there were so many reasons Freya didn’t trust people.
She loved her brother very much but still had no idea how he could have done that to Mila, or why.
‘Families!’ Zack said.
‘We all have them.’ Freya shrugged. ‘Even if we choose not to deal with them.’
He heard the slight dig.
‘I’m going back in April,’ Zack reminded her.
‘I know. How’s the baby doing?’ she asked.
‘He collapsed in the ambulance on the way to Brisbane. Cale said that they got to him just in time. But he’s doing okay. He’ll need more surgery when he’s older, but fairly minor.’
‘What does your dad say?’
‘We haven’t spoken about it.’
‘You haven’t spoken about it?’
‘Freya...’ He went to get another beer. ‘Do you want one?’
‘No, I just keep them there for Red if he comes to keep Cleo company.’
‘Do you want—?’
‘Nothing,’ she said. She was actually incredibly tired but curious about Zack. ‘Do you help out when you go back?’
‘Help out?’
‘With your father’s practice.’
‘I don’t stay there long enough for that,’ Zack admitted. ‘You know how you said you couldn’t stand everyone knowing your business—that’s what home’s like,’ he explained. ‘Everyone knows everything and it’s great for some, but not for me. I swear I could not get out of that place fast enough. I used to come back in my breaks but it just got harder and harder to after Toby died. He’d worked in the family practice so his dying left a big hole, not just for his family.’
‘On the community?’
Zack nodded.
‘One they think you should fill?’
‘They can’t get another doctor, it all falls on my dad. As well as the fact I don’t want to settle down and give them grandchildren. Toby was married and Alice wanted babies, and by now...’
‘So if your brother had lived?’
‘He didn’t, though,’ Zack said. ‘But, yes, they seem to think that had he lived...’ Zack didn’t tell her