He eyed her quizzically. “You’re not going shy on me, are you, Amy?”
It triggered a nervous laugh. “A bit late for that. I just want the bathroom to myself while I tidy up.”
In truth, Amy didn’t want to risk tangling physically with Jake, with or without towels. She needed some clear space here to tidy up her responses to him.
“Fair enough,” he said and whooshed out of the bath, the massive displacement of water almost causing a tidal wave.
He was a big man. Stark naked, there was a lot of him, all of it impressive. Amy couldn’t help staring. In every male sense he was well proportioned, well muscled and most decisively well endowed. Very well indeed. Her vaginal muscles went into spasms of excitement just looking at him, remembering how he’d felt and what he’d done.
It was just as well she was still lying in the bath. Jake didn’t even have to apply the art of temptation in the nude. He was it. He turned to reach for a towel and his backside scored a perfect ten beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Amy was struck by a powerful insight. Lust was not a male prerogative. Lust could hit a woman like a runaway train. She was left wondering how on earth it could be stopped.
A more urgent question was…did she want it to be stopped?
DINNER was good. Jake didn’t press anything but food on her. He played the charming host, ready to serve her every whim, encouraging her to try everything he’d brought, pleased when she did, obviously resolved on giving her a breathing space and setting a relaxed mood.
Amy appreciated it. She appreciated the food, too. It seemed to stabilise her stomach and clear her head. Her confusion over the sexual element that had scrambled their relationship, gradually sorted itself out into various straight avenues of thought.
Of course, it helped that Jake was fully clothed again. And she felt…safer, protected…in the jeans and T-shirt she’d planned to wear before Steve’s fateful intrusion. Probably her choice of clothes had alerted Jake to her nervous tension and reservations about any further intimate involvement. He was never slow on picking up signals.
Nevertheless, there could be no avoiding a discussion on where they went from here. As they cleared the dishes from the table, transferring them to the kitchen counter, Amy decided it couldn’t be postponed any longer. She could only hope Jake would understand her position.
“Coffee on the balcony?” he suggested.
Her gaze zapped to the armchairs and coffee table he must have put outside while she’d been in the shower prior to Steve’s arrival. “You thought of that before,” she blurted out, flushing with embarrassment as she recollected precisely when she’d noticed their removal to the balcony.
He shrugged. “It seemed a pleasant way to finish off the evening.”
She looked him straight in the eye, something she’d had difficulty in doing throughout dinner. “You didn’t come here to jump me, did you, Jake?”
“No,” he answered unequivocally. His face softened into a warm, whimsical smile. “I do genuinely care about you. I didn’t want you to feel alone.”
Her heart turned over.
Maybe caring made the difference.
“Besides, jumping isn’t my style,” he went on. “I’m only interested in mutual desire.”
Desire…lust…he’d probably cared about all the others, too.
His eyes gleamed their dangerous wolf-yellow. “And it is very mutual, Amy. Don’t put other labels on it.”
Don’t put love on it…that was certain.
Mutual desire was not going to lead anywhere good and it was no use wishing it might. Heat raced into her cheeks again as she tried to explain her spontaneous combustion away.
“Jake…it was just a moment in time…because of Steve…and…”
“No.” He shook his head at her. “At least be honest, Amy. We’re not ships passing in the night. What happened has been building between us for a long time. A progression…”
“But we don’t have to choose it,” she cried, agitated by the way he was validating what had been madness on both their parts. “We work together, Jake. Please don’t make it impossible for us to keep on working together.”
He frowned as though he hadn’t taken that factor into consideration.
“I’ll make the coffee,” she said, scooting off to the kitchen, hoping to keep the counter between them for a while.
Clothes didn’t really help, not when he started radiating physical charm and reminding her of the desires they had indulged so…so wildly. If he reached out and touched her, she wasn’t sure she could resist touching back. She had the feeling an electric current would sizzle her brain and her body would proceed on its own merry way to meltdown.
To her intense relief, Jake wandered out to the balcony. She stacked the plates and cutlery into the dishwasher as the coffeemaker did its job. The activity covered her inner turmoil as she clung desperately to what was the only sensible resolution to this volatile situation.
It couldn’t go on. Couldn’t! Jake’s idea of a progression threw her into a panic. The sex had been good. Amazing. Incredibly marvellous. But it wouldn’t stay that way. Moods and feelings were rarely recaptured. Lust did peter out. She had the evidence of Jake’s many affairs to demonstrate how quickly it passed.
The article in the women’s magazine which still lay in the bottom drawer of her desk came sharply to mind. If she indulged herself in more physical pleasures with Jake Carter, she’d be looking for the exit signs, every minute of every day, not trusting their togetherness to last long. Then how awkward would it be when he started looking for a fresh experience? How destroying it would be!
No, it was wrong for her. It would mess her up even more than she was already messed up. No matter what he said or did, she couldn’t allow herself to be tempted. Now was the time to start building a hopeful future for herself, not plunge down a sidetrack to more misery.
The coffeemaker beeped. She filled two mugs, steeled herself for the stand she had to make, then set out to fight the man who was undoubtedly plotting a different scenario. Her hands shook so much the coffee slurped over. She put the mugs on the counter and walked slowly around it, clenching and unclenching her hands. Her chest was so tight, her heart felt as though it was banging against it, stifled for proper room. Nevertheless, she did manage to carry the mugs out and set them on the coffee table without further spillage.
Jake was leaning on the balcony railing, apparently taking in the night view. He didn’t turn even though he must have heard her. Having got rid of the mugs from her nervous hands, Amy fidgeted. Sitting down didn’t feel right. It was impossible to relax enough to make it look natural. Yet to join Jake at the railing in the semidarkness…
“Tell me what you want, Amy.”
The soft words caught at her heart, turning her doubts and fears into silly trivialities. Jake had moved on to the big picture. He was simply waiting for her to paint in how she saw it.
Without any further hesitation, she stepped over to the railing and took a deep breath of fresh sea air. The winking myriad of lights around the bay assured her of life going on in a normal fashion, despite the ups and downs everyone was subjected to from time to time. It was normality she needed now.
“I want to keep my job,” she said simply.
He didn’t move, not even to glance at her. She had the sense of him being darkly self-contained, waiting and listening, biding his time until he had what