“I know that,” she murmured.
“Do you?” He looked at her directly, making eye contact, not letting her look away.
“It’s not just you,” she said. “It’s me. I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want anything to jeopardize Just Us Kids.”
“I understand that. Up until yesterday, I thought we got along just fine. At least we could have a simple conversation.”
She didn’t say anything to that.
He went on. “And yesterday, I thought we were finally getting to know each other a little better. I’m glad you told me a bit about your childhood.”
“I shouldn’t have,” she quickly said.
“Why not?”
“Because Jamie and I don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like to think about it. Those were hard times for both of us, and we don’t want anyone to feel sorry for us.”
“And you think I feel sorry for you?”
“Possibly.”
Hudson shook his head. “I’m sorry you and your brother went through that. I’m sorry your grandparents didn’t treat you as the gifts you must have been.” He found Greta’s conclusion absolutely fit the situation.
At his words, Bella looked surprised.
They were standing near his desk, she at one corner and he at the other. But now he took a few steps closer to her. He could smell the light flowery perfume she wore. He could see the tiny line across her nose because it wrinkled there whenever she laughed or smiled. She didn’t wear much makeup, but what she did wear was perfect—just a bit of lipstick and a little mascara from what he could tell. Simply looking at her caused heat to build inside him. He tried to throw a dash of cold water on it with logic, but it was hard to douse the kind of attraction he hadn’t felt for a very long time.
However, he kept his voice even when he said, “It’s a good thing when people who work together share bits of their personal life. They have a better understanding of what the other person has gone through. Do you know what I mean?”
She considered that. “I guess the way I grew up taught me that children should all be treated with respect and kindness and love.”
“I can see that.”
“And why do you treat them as if you’re one of them?” she asked as if she really wanted to know.
“Because I never grew up.” He was half joking and half serious.
Bella finally broke a smile. She looked him up and down, from his wavy brown hair, to the razor stubble on his jaw, to the open collar of his snap-button shirt, to his wide leather belt, jeans and boots. Then she said, “That’s easy to believe when I see you with the kids. But it’s hard to believe when I look at you as the supervisor of this place. You wear the role very well.”
“It is a role, Bella, believe me. I’m only here until we’re sure Just Us Kids has its reputation back, then I’ll be off again somewhere else. That’s what I do. That’s what I mean about never growing up.”
She shook her head as if she didn’t understand. “But what’s your purpose?”
“My purpose?”
“Before this job, what made you want to get up every morning and face a new day?”
“A new adventure. I went looking for it, whether it was gathering wild mustangs in Wyoming or managing the books of a friend’s ranch during start-up. I have skills, and I have purpose, but that purpose isn’t always the same. I find a purpose in the places I travel.”
“With no commitment or responsibilities?”
“No commitment and no personal responsibilities. It’s an easy, uncomplicated way to live.”
“My life is full of complications,” she responded with a little shrug. “I guess I wouldn’t know what to do without them. But my commitment to Jamie and the triplets, and eventually finding my own future, gives me purpose each morning. It’s a continuing purpose. Do you know what I mean? It’s going to take me into the years to come. Yours seems like it could fall apart easily and leave you adrift.”
Oh, he’d been adrift. He’d been adrift in between jobs, and he’d been adrift when he’d just enjoyed the scenery. But Bella seemed to think adrift was a bad thing. He didn’t.
They gazed at each other for what seemed like minutes, even though it was only seconds. He found himself wanting to slide his fingers through her hair. He found himself wanting to step even closer. There was a sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him that made him believe that maybe she was attracted to him, too. But he was sort of her boss, and she already thought he was judging everything she did. How stupid would it be to get involved with her? Yet he set the rules here, didn’t he? If he and Bella ever did really connect...
He suddenly cleared his throat. “I’d better open the door before anyone gets second thoughts about what’s going on in here. I wouldn’t want there to be any gossip about your reputation.”
A shadow passed over her face, a definite shadow. Maybe he’d learned a little personal information about her, but not nearly enough. Just what was that shadow from?
But she wasn’t going to confide in him any more than she already had. He could see that. She was already stepping away from his desk toward the door.
“Bella?”
She stopped.
“Are we okay?”
“We’re fine,” she said, raising up her chin a bit.
Fine. That was a wishy-washy word that didn’t nearly begin to describe what he felt when he was in the same room with Bella Stockton. But he just nodded because he could see that’s what she wanted him to do. He wasn’t going to push anything...not yet.
On Saturday afternoon, Bella was thankful for the baby chain that was helping her brother at Short Hills Ranch. This afternoon, Lindsay Dalton, one of the volunteers in Jamie’s baby chain, had stopped by. She was taking over care of baby Jared while Jamie and Bella handled the others. By the stone fireplace in the family room, Bella was holding Henry and sitting in an old pine rocker she’d found at a flea market. His little eyes were almost shutting. Jamie had taken Katie upstairs to the nursery to try to calm her down. She was teething and couldn’t be easily consoled today.
Lindsay sat on the sofa cooing softly to Jared. “If Henry starts crying again, he will, too,” she whispered.
Lindsay was a pretty brunette and Bella could easily see why Walker, Hudson’s brother, had fallen for her. Her own friendship with Lindsay had been strained by the lawsuit against Just Us Kids since Lindsay had been the lawyer suing Walker. But now Lindsay and Walker were engaged, and Walker was going to work mostly from Rust Creek Falls and travel when necessary. Lindsay and Bella were finding common ground again by helping Jamie.
“How goes everything at Just Us Kids?” Lindsay asked her, truly interested.
Bella continued to rock back and forth, watching Henry’s fists curl. Holding a baby absolutely melted her heart, yet it made it hurt at the same time.
“Everything’s going well,” she told Lindsay. “At least it seems to be. We had a mother tell us that if she saw one baby with the sniffles, she’d pull her child and enroll him at Country Kids.” Country Kids was their rival for clients.
“Sniffles and kids just go together,” Lindsay said with a shake of her head. “Especially this time of year.”
“One sniffle now and Hudson asks the parent to keep their child home. That’s the way it