‘It’s OK, Jordan.’ Louise’s voice was reassuring as she entered the room, straight away pushing the call bell for further assistance. Pulling on a pair of gloves, she carefully checked his tracheostomy, relieved to see that it was securely in place. From her handover sheet, Louise knew that Jordan had been in a high-impact motor-vehicle accident two months previously—a mixture of booze, dope and high jinks had almost ended his life. Along with abdominal injuries, he had suffered head and facial injuries. The facial injuries had compromised his airway, necessitating a tracheostomy, which he was being weaned off. But the tracheostomy tube could sometimes fall out or, as was the case in this instance, as Louise immediately decided after a brief assessment, a patient’s airway could become blocked with a mucous plug. Jordan still had air entry, his chest was moving on inspiration, but the air entry was poor and he was clearly distressed.
Louise turned on the suction machine, checking the soft rubber’s patency and lubricating it at the same time with some sterile water, then guided the tube into the airway, placing her finger over the connection to close the circuit and allow the machine to suction the blockage, as Jordan coughed and wheezed.
‘His sats are dropping, they’re only…’ the student said in a alarmed voice as she placed the probe on Jordan’s finger. But Louise silenced her with a wide-eyed glare—panic was the very last thing Jordan needed right now.
‘It’s OK, Jordan,’ Louise soothed over the noisy suction machine. ‘Give me a big cough and we’ll soon have you breathing normally.’
‘Good man!’ Shona was in the room now, rubbing Jordan’s back, assisting him to cough, and Louise was grateful for her calming manner. A compromised airway was a medical emergency and if the partial blockage wasn’t shifted quickly then an emergency call would have to be put out, but with tracheostomies, events like this unfortunately weren’t unusual. A calm, efficient manner was often more beneficial than having loud overhead chimes and doctors rushing into the room.
‘There we go.’ The gurgle of the suction machine and the loud whistling cough as she removed the blockage had everyone in the room, especially Jordan, breathing a touch easier.
‘How is he?’ Elaine’s voice was brisk as she swung into the room and pulled on gloves of her own.
‘Better now,’ Louise said. ‘He had a large mucous plug. He’s still very gurgly, though—he needs deep suction…’
‘I’ll do that,’ Elaine said, briskly and rather rudely taking over. ‘Kelly wants to speak to you.’
‘It can wait, Elaine! Louise is obviously busy.’ Louise recognised the voice from the doorway as Kelly’s, but her words were wasted as a determinedly efficient Elaine took over, clearly feeling her skills were what was needed here. Louise peeled off her gloves and washed her hands, before stepping outside.
‘Well done,’ Kelly said. ‘You handled that well—you’ve clearly worked with trachies before.’
‘It doesn’t mean I like them.’ Louise smiled wryly, only realising now the emergency was over how much it had actually shaken her. ‘I’ve been out of nursing for a few months…’
‘That’s right. You’ve got a young baby, haven’t you?’ The light above her flashed and Louise stood rigid as Kelly paused, clearly expecting Louise to attend to the patient rather than remain talking to her.
‘It’s Elaine’s patient,’ Louise said, as Kelly gave her a rather surprised look. ‘She said I should let her know if he buzzes. Apparently he’s a doctor here.’
‘Ah yes.’ Kelly nodded and popped her head into Room 4. ‘Danny’s buzzing, Elaine—I’ve told Louise to get it.’
Louise could only imagine Elaine’s face, but the thought didn’t stay. Instead, her heart was racing and she could hear the blood pounding in her ears as she approached the forbidden door, bracing herself for what was on the other side, hoping, knowing she was surely wrong, but somehow wishing she could be right. Every emotion she possessed tumbled in confusion as she pushed open the door and stepped inside because, despite the closed curtains and darkened room, there was no mistaking the face lying on the pillow that turned to face her as she entered—a face she’d seen lying on a pillow so many, many times, but under much kinder circumstances. Her fears, her wishes were all answered crashingly as she stared into familiar, shocked, indigo eyes.
‘Hello, Daniel.’ She must have said it because she could hear the words fill the shocked silence, but her voice didn’t sound like her own, the light-hearted, easy way she’d once greeted him light years from this strained, forced greeting as she stared at the man who had once adored her—the man who had then so cruelly hurt her.
Stared at the father of her son.
LOUISE!
Daniel didn’t say it, just stared at the opening door and the woman walking into his room, his face tightening in disbelief as she paused in the doorway. He tried to convince himself that he must surely be hallucinating as he held back the name that was on the tip of his tongue, had been on the tip of his tongue for ages now. He was terrified of making even more of a fool of himself in front of his colleagues, of calling out her name only to watch his Louise morph into one of the regular nurses on the ward. So instead he blinked a few times, tried to convince himself that it wasn’t her—that surely it was the drugs or pain or anaesthetic causing his mind to play tricks.
It couldn’t be her!
He didn’t want it be Louise, not because he didn’t want to see her—hell, she was the reason he was here in Australia after all! He just didn’t want her to see him like this. Daniel dragged in a deep breath and forced himself to slam the window shut on memories that were starting to breeze in. Lying in a hospital bed, unwell and disorientated, and completely out of control.
It couldn’t be her, Daniel told himself again, because his Louise’s hair was shorter, her body slimmer, more girlish. This was a woman—all woman, he noted as she walked slowly towards him, a softer, more curvaceous version of Louise, her familiar, fresh scent dusting his nostrils, mocking him, reminding him again of the relationship he’d so abruptly discarded, those gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes he had known so well staring once again into his. As her voice reached his ears, finally he succumbed—it really was her.
‘Louise.’ For what had seemed the longest time as she had walked in to the room, he had said nothing, just stared at her as if he was seeing a ghost. Louise was magnanimous enough to acknowledge to herself what a huge shock this must be for him. He was struggling to sit up now, a muscular arm grabbing the bar that hung above the bed, his face grimacing in pain at the sudden movement. Even in the darkened room she could see the lean muscular lines of his body as his untied gown fell off his shoulders.
‘God, I thought I was seeing things for a minute. What are you doing here?’
‘Working.’ She gave a tight smile. ‘But given I’m the one who’s from Australia, shouldn’t I be asking that question of you?’
‘I thought you lived out in the country…’ He was in obvious pain and if it had been anyone else, without hesitation she’d have moved to help, would have told him to sit forward as she shifted the pillows scattered behind him into a supportive cushion, but she was frozen to the spot in the middle of the room.
‘I did,’ Louise responded stiffly, but something inside her gave in then, the nurse in her so ingrained that she made her way over, flicked on the overhead light, straightened his pillows, pulled his gown back up over his shoulders then retied the ribbons at the back. Somehow she managed not to touch him or acknowledge the grateful nod as he rested back. ‘What did you want?’ When he didn’t answer, she elaborated. ‘You buzzed—is there anything I can help you with?’
‘Forget that.’ He let out a stunned, incredulous half-laugh.