One slim shoulder jerked up, then disappeared into the folds of his jacket. Seeing her wear his clothing did something funny to his stomach, like he’d just chugged a two-liter bottle of soda before spinning in circles. Focus, he chided himself. Find out what’s bothering her.
“It seems fairly straightforward,” she replied, sounding a little hesitant.
“That’s usually the best way to do things. Less chance of mistakes.”
“For you, maybe. You do this all the time. But me?” She shook her head. “I’m not built for this.”
And wasn’t that the understatement of the year? Logan couldn’t stop his gaze from roaming over her, starting at her wide brown eyes and wandering down to her graceful hands, stopping to linger on everything in between. Olivia was a woman built for civilized pursuits, not the machinations of a ruthless drug cartel.
“No, you aren’t,” he agreed. Seeing her here in his office, drowning in his jacket and looking lost, tugged at something deep inside his chest. Could he really ask her to do this on her own? Sure, the DEA would be watching from afar—they couldn’t get too close because they didn’t want to betray their involvement and spook the bad guys. But was that enough?
No, he decided. It wasn’t. Olivia deserved more.
“Would you feel better if I went with you?”
Her head jerked up at that, her eyes brightening with hope. “Can you do that?”
He nodded, mentally preparing himself for the battle that was sure to come when he announced this change of plan to the rest of the guys. “If it would make you feel better.”
She grabbed his hand, squeezing hard. “You’d do that for me?”
“We take care of our own,” he replied, squeezing back. “And if you do this, you’re definitely on the team.”
She smiled at that, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “I never thought I’d be part of a posse before.”
“Please,” he scoffed. “We’re a little more organized than that.”
“That’s true,” she said. She studied him a moment, her expression growing serious. “Are you sure you can do this? It won’t mess up the surveillance the other guys were talking about?”
“It’ll be fine,” he assured her. “If anything, it will be good to have eyes and ears on you, so I can make sure nothing bad happens.” Besides, the surveillance team wouldn’t be able to respond quickly if necessary, whereas he’d be right there, ready to act if things got too hairy.
“I would feel better if you were with me,” she murmured, almost to herself. Her words made him want to throw his shoulders back and grin, but he controlled the urge.
“So you’ll do it?” he asked, trying not to sound too eager.
She nodded, meeting his gaze. “If you can really come with me, then yes, I’ll do it.”
“Excellent.” Logan couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face. Finally, they had a solid chance to bring these guys down! It was the operation of a lifetime, and he would make sure they succeeded.
Or die trying.
Olivia ran her hands down the front of her pants, wiping away the sweat that was making her skin feel clammy. This will be over in just a few minutes, she told herself. It didn’t help. She had been dreading this moment since Logan had asked her to call Carlos and set up another meeting at her office, and even the knowledge that Keith and Alan, two of Logan’s fellow DEA agents, were sitting in the waiting room did nothing to help calm her anxiety.
“Why can’t you be there, too?” she’d asked him. She’d heard the fear in her own voice, but if Logan had noticed, he hadn’t commented.
“I don’t want Carlos or any of his men to see me before I accompany you on the trip. We can’t risk raising their suspicions,” he’d explained patiently. “Besides, Keith and Alan are two of the finest men on my team. I trust them, and I know they’ll keep you safe. But it won’t come to that.”
He’d been so confident that Carlos wouldn’t try to hurt her at this meeting, a fact she’d appreciated at the time. But now that she was moments away from seeing the man again, her nerves were starting to get the better of her.
Would he be able to tell she’d gone to the authorities? He had said her thoughts showed on her face. What if Carlos took one look at her and knew the DEA was involved? Would he simply kill her now, or go after Avery and Mallory first? Olivia’s stomach dropped to the floor and her knees began to wobble. She sank onto her desk chair and sucked in a breath, trying to push back against a sudden surge of nausea.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, her heart beating wildly against her breastbone. Her head felt curiously light, as if it was a balloon that could float away at any moment. It was an unsettling sensation, and Olivia gripped her desk hard, afraid that if she let go she would rise off the ground and be lost.
A shrill ring pierced the fog of her panic and made her jump. It took her a moment to place the sound, then she realized it was coming from the phone Logan had given her last night. A burner, he’d called it. Almost impossible to trace, and since the cartel didn’t know she had it, it was safe to use.
“Hello?” She could barely get the word out.
“Olivia.” Logan’s warm, deep voice flowed across the line. “How are you?”
She wanted to laugh at the ordinary question, but couldn’t manage it. That was probably for the best, the small, rational part of her brain realized. She was on the cusp of hysteria and if she started to laugh now, she might never stop.
Fortunately, Logan seemed to understand. “Listen to me,” he said, his tone soothing. “You’re going to be all right. I know you’re scared, but you can do this.”
“What if he figures it out?” she whispered loudly. It was silly, she knew, but she was afraid that if she gave voice to her suspicions, Carlos would indeed realize she had talked to someone. “What if he reads it on my face?”
Logan didn’t respond right away, and Olivia felt the blood drain from her head. He agrees, she thought numbly. He knows I’m going to give it away without saying a word.
“You do tend to let your thoughts show on your face,” he said finally. “But that’s not necessarily a bad thing here.”
“What?” she squeaked. “How do you figure that? He’ll kill my friends!”
“Let me finish,” Logan said patiently. “You’re scared, right? That’s normal. Let the fear show. It would be strange if you weren’t afraid. Besides, Carlos thinks he’s beaten you, that he controls you. If you act too confident, it will clue him in that something is off.”
“There is no chance of me acting too confident,” she assured him.
“What happened to your anger?” Logan challenged. “The woman I saw last night was afraid, yes, but underneath the fear she was spitting mad that she’d been manipulated. Where did that fighting spirit go?”
“I can’t risk my friends,” she said, but Logan cut her off.
“If you don’t find your anger, they’re as good as dead,” he said bluntly.
Olivia bit back a cry, but he didn’t stop to offer an apology. “If you let your fear control your actions, you will lose. If you spend this time worried, Carlos will know about our plan, and your face and demeanor will communicate that to him louder than any words. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.”