“Bless your heart,” Rosie said, hugging Emma lightly. Emma stood immobile, stunned. Fear had blossomed earlier over a week ago. She had pushed away the nagging worry, telling herself it was her imagination. But it was too many days now for it to be her imagination. Two days in a row, she had been sick during breakfast and then it was gone.
“Rosie, I have two married sisters and a sister-in-law. They all have babies. I’ve seen both my sisters have morning sickness.” Emma felt chilled and trembled. “Rosie, this wasn’t in my plans.”
“You don’t know for certain, do you?”
“No. I’ll get a pregnancy test this weekend when I go to Dallas. I already have a doctor’s appointment for next week.”
Rosie placed her hands on her hips while she faced Emma. “Then don’t start worrying now. The stomach upset might be something you ate and your period could start tomorrow. How late are you?”
“A week now.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “That’s not enough to give you a worry. A few days is nothing. Wait a few weeks.”
Emma nodded, but she was not reassured. “I’m extremely on time almost to the hour, so this is unique.” Suddenly, to the depths, she was certain she was pregnant with Zach’s baby. Her head swam and for an instant she felt light-headed. She reached out to grasp the kitchen counter to steady herself. Rosie’s hand closed on her arm.
“Are you all right?”
Rosie’s expression showed concern that threatened panic. “Rosie, promise me—please don’t say anything yet until I know for sure.”
“I would never. Don’t give it another worry. That’s not my business and I don’t interfere in something like this. I’ll not say anything.” Rosie’s brow furrowed and her eyes were filled with concern.
“I don’t panic over things, but I feel panicky over this. I feel so out of control.”
“Wait until you’ve seen a doctor and know absolutely,” Rosie said, but her voice held only solicitude.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Emma whispered, more to herself than Rosie.
“Some things are just out of our hands,” Rosie declared. “Go back to your room and lie down if you need to.” She took Emma’s icy hand in her soft, warm hands, briefly and then released her. “You have a big, loving family. They’ll take care of you and a little one.”
A little one. Emma shook and clenched her hands. Rosie hadn’t said a word about Zach being helpful. Was this going to be a huge shock—and an unpleasant one for him? Would it be a responsibility he didn’t want? He had talked about how unprepared Will had been for Caroline. On the other hand, Zach seemed to truly care for Caroline and he had been a wreck when they couldn’t find her. Of all men on earth—”I’m going to my room if he comes asking for me,” she said, suddenly wanting to get behind closed doors and adjust to what was happening before she faced another person. “This is my last day. He doesn’t need to know until I’m sure.”
“I promise. You have your secret,” Rosie said, nodding and going back to doing dishes.
Emma hurried out and raced out of sight, rushing to her room where she crossed the room to place her hands on her flat middle. “I can’t be,” she whispered.
In her dressing room she studied herself in the mirror, turning first one way and another. She had watched two sisters and a sister-in-law go through pregnancies. She looked in the mirror, running her hands over her flat stomach. There were no single mothers in her family.
Zach. How could she ever tell a man who wouldn’t even spend Christmas with his family that he was about to become a father?
She was staring at her stomach in the dressing room of her suite when her stomach rolled and she ran for the bathroom. She was sick again and this time she knew it was partly with worry.
She thought of her brother, Connor. Connor was strong-willed, the take-charge oldest sibling, a total alpha male who would want to make Zach marry her. He wouldn’t want to marry or he already would have talked about it. Zach would rebel and probably disappear to another country.
She shook again, chilled on the warm day. She ran a cold cloth over her face and went back to sit, knotting her fists and trying to think what to do, praying she was wrong.
She could leave, slip out without Zach even knowing and then say goodbye with a call from Dallas.
Too many things were so wrong. She had just tossed her future into uncertainty and chaos. Why had she ever stayed and worked for him? Why had she made love with him? Fallen in love with him when she had known it would be disastrous and hopeless? Why hadn’t the protection worked?
The Dallas job would go, too. If she stayed there, word would get right back to him. Just quit the company and go somewhere else, she told herself. By the time she was ready to tell Zach, he would probably be halfway around the world, far from Texas and from her. Soon she would be only a memory to him.
Standing in front of the mirror, she inspected her figure. She could get through Christmas without anyone knowing. Common sense said to stop worrying until she was certain, but that was impossible. All her positive reactions to past upheavals were gone now. She couldn’t hold the same cheerful certainty for herself and she needed to get a grip. This worry was not like her and there was a bright side. If she could just focus on the baby and try to avoid thinking about Zach. A total impossibility.
In her heart, there were no doubts. Because of their loving, she would become the mother of a Delaney. It seemed likely that Zach would help support his child, but that was all. A man whose heart was already given to traveling and his job would never be tied down by a family.
Feeling an ache of worry increasing, she rubbed her neck. Mary Kate was her closest sibling and she could tell her. The thought of Mary Kate’s support lifted Emma’s spirits slightly. Her sister would be a staunch ally and Emma was certain she could always count on her mother’s acceptance. If she could just keep Connor from doing something wild like wanting to punch out Zach.
She remembered Will and Ava and Caroline and the love that shone between Will and Ava, plus their eagerness when they had announced a baby on the way. Emma hurt, her insides twisting into a knot while tears threatened. She wouldn’t have that shared joy and love. This wasn’t the way she had always dreamed about having a family. The love she had wished for was what she had witnessed between Will and Ava.
Emma wiped her eyes and got up, walking restlessly, wishing she could undo what had been done. She had no one to blame but herself. How she wished she could back up and relive her life.
Then Emma thought about the baby and put her hand protectively on her stomach. Her baby. Her family would be shocked, upset, angry, probably even with her, but when the baby arrived, they would all accept and love the tyke.
This baby would fit into her family and they would shower the baby and her with love. Her brothers would be dads for the baby. Her child would not come into the world unloved or unwanted.
She stretched on the bed, staring into space while her mind raced over problems and solutions.
The first hurdle was to get through today with Zach. She was already packed, ready to go home. How was she going to be able to tell Zach goodbye?
An hour later she went down to work. Zach sat stretched out, his feet on a window ledge while he talked on the phone. She sat at her desk, unable to work, looking at him and thinking about the future.
She could tell he was getting ready to end the call, so she returned to the box of letters where she had spent all of her time lately.
As she