Remembering, she smiled. They had turned the snow-woman back into a snowman because Zach said he needed to return Rosie’s apron. She’d reminded him that he wore that very apron to cook their steaks Saturday nights, a point he’d conceded.
Monday was uneventful except she couldn’t lose the constant awareness she had of Zach. She was getting too close to him, enjoying his company too much. The weekend had brought intimacy and an emotional bonding that she may have been the only one to experience. She thought about the job ending soon and not seeing Zach again, so the problem would resolve itself. In spite of the weekend, it seemed wiser to put the brakes on a relationship. How deeply did she want to get involved with him? They were totally different with different priorities and vastly different lifestyles. The weekend had been magical, but they were shut away into almost a dream world, isolated in the storm on the ranch. She should develop some resistance and keep from sinking deeper into growing close to him. At least she should try. The intimate weekend was over and she should avoid another if she could dredge up the willpower.
That evening she learned that he was having his dinner in the office. Disappointment was coupled with knowledge that she was better off not seeing him. As she filled her plate in the kitchen, she quizzed Rosie about how Zach spent his holidays and received the same version she’d heard from Zach.
“Christmas decorations are in the attic and haven’t been touched in years because it’s been so long since any of the family has been at the ranch at Christmas,” Rosie said. “Nigel used to put them up in case the family came, but he stopped years ago because the Delaneys were rarely at the ranch in December. Actually, this house has been closed most of the time for the past ten years and the foreman runs the ranch.”
Emma picked at her dinner, her focus on Rosie.
Peeling and cutting carrots, Rosie stood at the counter. “When Adam, Zach’s eldest brother, was born, Mrs. Delaney was delighted and gave him her attention. He had a nanny and Nigel and I worked for them in the Dallas home. Back then, they had lots of help. By the time Will was born, Mrs. Delaney was losing interest. When Zach came along she wasn’t happy and she told me herself—no more babies. They had their family.”
“Rosie, that’s awful,” Emma said, thinking how every baby was so welcome in her family. Each birth was a huge celebration.
“That’s the way she was. In those days she and Mr. Delaney were going their separate ways. When she got pregnant with Ryan, Mrs. Delaney had a screaming fit. She didn’t want another child and she made that clear. She had lost interest in her boys.”
“I can’t imagine,” Emma said, deep in thought about Zach.
“No. They were good boys. Adam was eight, Will was seven, Zach, five. She couldn’t wait to get them out of the house and into boarding school. She sent Adam that year. Next year, Will went. Two years later, Zach went.”
“That seems too young to send them away.”
“Zach was never the same. He closed up and shut himself off. As a little fellow, he would hug me and climb into my lap. That all stopped. He was getting too big to get on my lap, but the hugs vanished. He was quieter, more remote.”
“You and Nigel both seem to have a close relationship with him.”
“Zach is nice to work for and I love him like another son, but he keeps his thoughts to himself. Any woman who thinks she’ll come into his life and change him is in for a big disappointment.”
“I can’t imagine his solitary life,” Emma said. “My family is like yours and we all gather together on holidays.”
“Their mother just turned off the love, if she had ever really loved them. It hurt those boys. Maybe not Adam and Will so much because they were the oldest and had had more of her attention.”
“I don’t understand how she could do that.”
“She’s hardly ever laid eyes on Caroline who is her only oldest grandchild, the daughter of Adam, who sadly passed away. She has no interest in the little girl. Caroline is showered with love by all those around her, so I don’t think she’s noticed or realized yet, but when she gets older, she will. Mrs. Delaney’s interest is in herself. She doesn’t come see them. Anyway, this is the first Christmas for a Delaney to be here on the ranch in years. I don’t think Zach pays much attention to Christmas. He hasn’t been home in years for a holiday celebration.”
“I can’t imagine that either. At Christmas, home is the only place I want to be.”
“I agree,” Rosie said, smiling broadly. “Open the pantry door.”
Emma did and saw snapshots of children, babies, adults, teens.
“That’s my family,” Rosie said. “Zach has given me time off and I will be with my family for Christmas.” She wiped her hands and came close to tell Emma the name and relationship of each person.
“That’s wonderful, Rosie. I know you can’t wait to see them.”
“Most are in Fort Worth, but others are scattered across Texas. Dallas, San Antonio, Fredericksburg. I’ll be off for three weeks.”
“This will be a fun Christmas for you,” Emma said, wondering if Zach would enjoy being alone as much as he said he did.
Later, while as she ran on the treadmill, Emma thought about all Rosie had said. Emma suspected Zach would not put up any Christmas decorations. She glanced at the ceiling, thinking about the room upstairs that led into the attic. Emma’s jaw firmed. She would decorate for Zach. She wanted Christmas reminders in her room and on her desk, but while she was at it, she would decorate the house a little if she found the Christmas decorations.
Nigel was gone by six each evening. By now Rosie might have left. As soon as she finished on the treadmill and showered, Emma pulled on fresh jeans and a red T-shirt. In the attic it took only minutes to find containers, systematically marked Christmas and each box had an attached list of contents.
She carried a box to the office and placed decorations around her area. She glanced toward Zach’s desk and debated, leaving it alone except for one small Christmas tree she placed to one side.
Wondering whether she would encounter Zach, she carried another box to the family room. In the attic she had spotted a beautiful white Christmas tree covered in transparent plastic and tomorrow she intended to ask Nigel to help her get it into the family room.
Maybe the decorations would get Zach into the holiday spirit.
In the family room she placed artificial greenery on the mantel and then placed sparkling balls, artificial frosted fruit. She set long red candles in a silver candelabra in the dining room, arranging them on the mantel. The scrape of a shoe made her turn toward the door as Zach entered.
He stopped to glance around. His black T-shirt and faded, tight jeans set her insides fluttering.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Decorating a bit for Christmas since the holiday approaches.”
Zach’s gaze met hers as he crossed the room. “I don’t care about your room or your desk. Otherwise, don’t put this stuff up in the house. Your intentions are nice, but this isn’t what I hired you to do,” he said, stopping only a few feet away.
“I’m not using work hours to do this,” she said. “I thought you’d like it.”
“No. I don’t want the clutter. It’s old stuff and doesn’t conjure up warm memories. I’ll get Nigel to see that it’s cleared away.”
“I can take it out,” she said. “I didn’t know it would be hurtful.”
“It isn’t hurtful,” he said, with a slight harshness to his tone. “I just don’t want it around and it’s time-consuming to put up and take down.