‘But there was a plan? You admit that? ‘
‘Yes,’ she said, her temper flaring, ‘there was a plan—an innocent plan to help Charlie follow his own path in life. He’s a natural entertainer and I have a friend, Lee Renton, who’s in the business. He sets up those television programmes where amateurs perform and viewers vote. I recommended Charlie to him after that evening we spent at The Diamond. He did an impromptu performance for me at the table and he was so good that I thought he should take it further.
‘Lee has auditioned him and because he’s the big boss he’s been able to pull strings and include Charlie in a show in two weeks’ time. If he’s no good, OK, but the top two performers go through to the next round, and I’d back Charlie to be one of them.’
‘And then what?’ Roscoe demanded scathingly. ‘An existence spent on the grubby fringes of show business?’
‘Or as a star, however it turns out.’
‘However—? That’s how you see life, is it? Leave it to chance?’
‘What do you suggest instead? Opt for safety every time? Choosing safety doesn’t always lead to safety. We know that, don’t we? But it can, if it’s your own free choice. But being a stockbroker isn’t Charlie’s choice. It was your choice for him, and it won’t work.’
He turned away from her, walking about the room like a man who no longer knew where he was going.
‘You said Charlie walked out,’ Pippa reminded him. ‘Did he? Or did you force him out because you were so determined to make him do it your way? ‘
He turned a haggard gaze on her. ‘I wanted him to go on a course to learn some more about the business,’ he said. ‘He’d have acquired an extra qualification, boosted his prospects. He refused to go because it would have meant missing the television show. I told him he had to make a choice.’
Pippa groaned and clutched her forehead. ‘Tell me I’m not hearing this,’ she muttered. ‘You forced him to choose and you’re surprised that he chose his freedom?’
‘Freedom? You call that kind of life freedom?’
‘To him, yes. Freedom isn’t just not being in prison. You could keep Charlie out of trouble with the law but you’d do it by trapping him behind the bolts and bars of finance. For him, that would be a life sentence. He’s made his choice.’
‘Or you made it for him.’
‘No, I helped him do what he wants to do.’
‘Behind my back. You did encourage him to deceive me, didn’t you?’
‘I advised him not to tell you too much too soon, in case you tried to interfere.’
‘Interfere? I’m his brother.’
‘Yes, his brother, not his keeper. And you did interfere with that damn fool choice you forced on him. “Do it my way or get out.” The clever thing to do would be to leave the door open for him to come back if his new career failed. But you slammed that door shut so you’re not really a clever man at all, are you?’
The next moment she was sorry she’d said it because his face changed. The anger died out of it, replaced by a weary sadness that broke her heart.
‘No,’ he said slowly. ‘I guess the truth is that I’m a fool. I’ve always been a fool. I’ve trusted people who couldn’t be trusted, and I never learned from my mistakes.’ He gave a soft, mirthless laugh. ‘How big a fool is that? The biggest in the world.’
They weren’t talking about Charlie any more. He was saying that he’d trusted her, and he felt betrayed by her. Nor could she blame him when she remembered how he’d confided in her that night, talking about his father, his fiancée, his desolation at the way he’d been abandoned. He’d confided in her as to nobody else in his life, and just a few hours later she’d rejected him, her rejection coming out of the blue, with no real explanation.
And it had to stay that way. She didn’t dare tell him the whole story of her inner destruction in case he opened his arms to her in sympathy and understanding. Then she would weaken, seeking his love where once she’d found the strength to reject it. And she would destroy him.
Whatever happened, she would protect him from that. Protect him from herself.
‘I see you don’t deny that you made a fool of me,’ he said. ‘And that’s all I was—just one more fool among many. I fell for you totally, nothing held back. Boy, that must really have given you a laugh.’
‘No, I’m not laughing,’ she said quietly. ‘But I do know that I’m no good for you. I’m poison, and you’re better off without me.’
‘Oh, please!’ He warded her off again, this time actually backing away. ‘Spare me the pathos. You’ve done so well up to now. I was a scalp you had to add to your collection. You as good as admitted it.’
‘I didn’t—’
‘As close as, damn it. You had your victory and then I was no more use. I congratulate you. Cutting out the dead wood is good business practice, although even a heartless robot like myself hesitates before using it on people.’
‘Don’t call yourself a heartless robot,’ she cried. ‘I’ve never said that—’
‘Can you swear you’ve never thought it?’
‘No…never…’ she said jerkily.
‘You’re lying. The truth is there in your face. You’ve thought that and worse. Charlie told you I’m a control freak, didn’t he? And perhaps I am. But I’m not the only one, Pippa. Maybe I have pulled the strings of Charlie’s life, but so have you. The difference is that I pull strings in the open, not behind anyone’s back.’
Seeing that she was too stunned to speak, he turned with an air of finality and went to the door.
‘Be sure to send me your bill,’ he said, and walked out.
She could hear his retreating footsteps, followed by the sound of the elevator going down. She felt cold—deeply cold, too cold to move—with a coldness that would last for the rest of her life, freezing her heart, turning her to something inhuman.
But Roscoe already saw her as inhuman. His contempt left no doubt about that.
And that was good, she told herself resolutely. He was safer that way. As long as he was safe, she could bear anything.
Charlie called her, full of excitement about his approaching big night.
‘Mum’s giving a big party that night,’ he bubbled, ‘and she wants you as the guest of honour because you made it all happen. She’s thrilled about my new career. Roscoe can’t understand it.’
‘Obviously he isn’t thrilled.’
‘He wouldn’t be, would he? I don’t see him any more now I’m out of the firm, and he won’t be at home on the night. OK, so I’ll tell Mum you’re coming.’
‘Charlie—’
But he’d hung up, leaving her reflecting that Roscoe wasn’t the only member of his family who liked to call the shots.
The day of Charlie’s show started badly, with another car breakdown. This time Pippa faced the inevitable and dumped the vehicle. She took a taxi to the Havering house, arriving to find all the lights on and Angela waiting for her on the front step, flanked by neighbours who clapped and cheered as her taxi drew up.
‘Roscoe’s not here,’ Angela confided. ‘He’s so annoyed about the programme that he’s not coming.’
‘How do you feel about it?’ Pippa asked.
‘It’s what Charlie wants. And besides,’ Angela added in a low, confiding voice, ‘he can