“Of course I care,” said Marcus, “but this isn’t the way to do it. It’s very noble to talk about giving your lives for a cause, and the future of mankind is a pretty great cause, I’ll grant you that, but take ten seconds to be realistic about this and it all falls apart. No one has seen a Partial in eleven years—you don’t know where they are, what they’re doing, how to find them, how to capture one, what they’re physically capable of, or anything else. And if by some ridiculous miracle you manage to capture one without getting massacred, what then? Are you going to waltz a Partial right into the middle of East Meadow and hope you don’t get shot on sight?”
“We’ll take one of the portable medicomps,” said Kira, “and a generator to run it. We can do all the tests we need in the field.”
“No, you can’t,” said Marcus, “because you’ll be dead. You started this by being blunt, so here’s some more bluntness for you: Everyone who goes on this idiotic adventure will die. There is no other outcome. And I will not allow you to kill yourself.”
“How in the hell is that your decision?” Kira snapped. She felt her face suddenly hot, her blood boiling, her hands tingling with the sudden rush of blood and adrenaline and emotion. Who did he think he was? The room was hushed and uncomfortable, everyone staring at her outburst. Kira stood and walked away, not even daring to look at Marcus for fear that she’d yell at him again.
“This will take us at least a month, probably more, to put together,” said Jayden quietly. “Haru has access to the maps through his construction contacts, and I can go talk to a couple of people I know will help us out. We’ll say we’re doing a salvage run, with personnel I select, and no one will think twice until we don’t come back on time. By then it will be too late to stop us. But putting all of that paperwork in place, without raising suspicion, will take time.”
“That’s fine,” said Kira. “We don’t want to waste time, but we don’t want to rush this either. If we’re going to do it, we do it right.”
“How are you going to request me?” asked Xochi. “I’m not certified for salvage missions.”
“You’re not coming,” said Jayden.
“Like hell I’m not coming.”
“You need to stay with Madison,” said Haru. “Everyone does what they can, with the skills they have. Trying to take you into Partial territory is asking for trouble; you’d be more of a hindrance than a help.”
“Please stay with me,” said Madison, holding a hand toward Xochi. Her eyes were wide and tear-filled, her face desperate and pleading. “I can’t stand to lose everyone at once.”
“If Xochi’s no good out there, I’d be even worse,” said Isolde. “But I can run interference with the Senate if they notice you’re missing. Anything the Grid decides to do, though, is beyond my reach.”
“That’s good,” said Haru, “but you’ll need to do more. Your job is making sure that when we come back, the Senate will at least listen to what we have to say.”
“I’m not going either,” said Marcus. “And neither is Kira.”
Kira whirled around, stalked to the couch, and yanked Marcus up by the arm. “Jayden, Haru, get started. Marcus and I are going outside to talk.” She dragged him down the hall to the front door, banging it open violently. She shoved him down the steps and stormed after, planting herself firmly in front of his face. Her eyes were hot with tears. “What do you think you’re doing in there?”
“I’m saving your life.”
“It’s my life, I can save it myself.”
“Then do it. Do you really think you’ll survive a trip out there? Do you really want to leave all this behind?”
“All what behind? Are you talking about us? Is that what this is about? I have to sit back and watch the whole world spiral down the drain because we might have to break up? You don’t own me, Marcus—”
“I’m not saying I own you, obviously I’m not saying that. I just don’t understand why you’re ready to throw everything away for this.”
“Because it’s the only way,” said Kira. “Doesn’t that even matter to you? Can’t you see what’s going on? We are tearing ourselves apart. If I go tomorrow I might die, yes, but if I stay, we will die, inevitably, and the whole human race with us, and I refuse to live with that.”
“I love you, Kira.”
“I love you too, but—”
“But nothing,” said Marcus. “You don’t have to save the world. You’re a medic—not even a full medic yet, you’re an intern. You have a gift for science, and you can do so much more here, in the hospital. Where it’s safe. Let them go if they have to, but you stay.” His voice faltered. “Stay with me.”
Kira squeezed her eyes shut, willing him to understand. “Stay with you and what, Marcus?” She opened her eyes again, looking deeply into his. “You want to get married? You want to have a family? We can’t do any of that until RM is cured. Whether or not they lower the required age, I will spend the rest of my life pregnant: Most of those women average one a year, and all the children die. Is that really what you want? We get married, we get pregnant, and twenty years from now we have twenty dead children? There is not enough room in my heart for that; there’s not enough strength.”
“Then we’ll leave,” said Marcus. “We’ll go to one of the farms, or to a fishing village, or we’ll join the Voice, I don’t even care—anything to make you happy.”
“The Voice and the Grid are going to tear the island apart if we don’t find a cure, Marcus, we’re not going to be safe anywhere.” She stared at him, trying to understand him. “Do you honestly think I could be happy in some tiny little village somewhere, ignoring everything while the world dies?” Her voice cracked. “Do you even know me at all?”
“It will never be cured, Kira.” Marcus’s voice was small and pained. He took a deep breath, setting his jaw firmly. “You’re an idealist, you solve puzzles, and you look at something unsolvable and all you can see are the things nobody’s done yet—the crazy, harebrained things that nobody has tried because they’re crazy and harebrained. We have to face the truth: We have tried everything, we have looked everywhere, we have used every reasonable resource, and RM is still not cured because it is incurable. Dying across the river is not going to change that.”
Kira shook her head, trying to find the words she wanted. How could he say something like that? How could he even dare to think it? “You don’t . . .” She paused, crying, starting over. “How can you live like that?”
“It’s the only way we have left, Kira.”
“But how can you live without a future?”
He swallowed. “By living in the present. The world is already over, Kira. Maybe one day a baby will live, maybe not. It’s not going to change anything. All we have left is each other, so let’s enjoy it. Let’s be together, like we’ve always said we’d be, and let’s forget all this death and fear and everything else and just live. You want to leave the island, let’s leave the island—let’s go somewher no one will find us, away from the Senate and the Voice and the Partials and everything else. But let’s do it together.”
Kira shook her head again, sobbing. “Do you really love me?”
“You know I love you.”
“Then give me this one thing.” She sniffed, wiping her face, and looked him squarely in the eyes. “Don’t stop us.” He started to protest, and she cut him off. “I can’t live in the world you’re talking about. I’m leaving tomorrow, and if I die, I die, but at least I’ll die doing something. And