‘My grandparents moved in with us for a few years, and that was the worst time of all. When they first found out Mum was pregnant, they were horrified and they said so. Truthfully, they were vile to her.’ Her composure slipped slightly, exposing a seam of anger. ‘Then when she died they couldn’t separate how they felt from the way they reacted to Jamie. They saw Jamie as the reason she was dead and it was just horrible. It was obvious that they just saw him as a mistake and a burden. That’s why I snapped at you just now. That was exactly the word they used. “Sacrifice”. They told us that Mum had ruined everyone’s lives and if we kept Jamie we’d be throwing our lives away. They wanted us to put him up for adoption. They didn’t want him—their own flesh and blood. Can you believe that?’
Lucas felt the ache in his temples. The pressure.
Yes, he could believe that.
‘But you refused.’
‘It was a hideous time. My sister and I decided to consult a lawyer and after a long, complicated battle which I don’t intend to bore you with, we were given custody.’
‘Long and complicated?’ Another understatement, he thought, oddly disturbed by the thought of two teenage girls taking on the world in order to keep their baby brother with them.
‘We had to show we were able to care for him. Fortunately there was money from Mum’s life insurance. My sister gave up her plans to go to college and instead became a teaching assistant at a school with a crèche.’
‘And your grandparents?’
She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, her expression resigned. ‘Let’s just say it’s a tense relationship. For Jamie’s sake we wanted it to work out but life doesn’t always happen the way you want it to.’
And didn’t he know it. ‘I had no idea you had such a complicated history. You never mentioned it.’
‘Why would I mention it? My private life isn’t exactly relevant to the practise of architecture.’
‘And no doubt you’re about to tell me that this man you met, who was probably the love of your life, dumped you because you had a baby to care for?’
‘Actually I dumped him. He was putting so much pressure on me to lead my own life and didn’t seem able to understand Jamie is my life. Not my whole life, obviously, but a huge part of it. As for Edward being the love of my life—’ She broke off and shrugged. ‘For a while I thought he was, but I was wrong. I could never love someone who had such a casual attitude towards responsibility.’
‘What about since then? Are you telling me you haven’t dated?’
‘As I said, the only place I meet people is at work and I’d never date anyone from work.’ Her smile was a rueful acknowledgement of the contradiction offered by their current position. ‘Which leads me neatly back to the place we started. Lucas, you have to accept my resignation.’
‘No.’ He heard the ice in his own voice. ‘That is not going to happen. And I can’t believe you’d even suggest it.’
‘We are not going to be able to work together after this.’
‘Yes, we are.’
‘I am not going to be able to face you on a Monday morning knowing that we...that you...you’re my boss!’
‘It was just one night, Emma. Just one night.’
‘You don’t have to repeat yourself. Nor do you have to panic. I don’t want a relationship any more than you do.’
The fact that she read him so well should have reassured him, but it didn’t. ‘If you don’t want a relationship then I don’t understand the problem. We carry on as before. Nothing has changed.’
‘Except that I’ve seen you naked and you’ve seen me naked. I just think that working with you is going to be so embarrassing.’ Pink-faced, she wrapped her arms around herself and he found himself watching every movement she made, aware of her in a way he’d never been before. He’d worked with her for two years but he’d never really seen her.
Or maybe he hadn’t allowed himself to see her.
‘Then get over it. And get over it fast because I’m afraid I’m going to ask something more of you. I want you to delay the start of your holiday until at least Tuesday.’
‘What?’ Appalled, she stared at him. ‘No way! You can’t do that. I promised Jamie I’d be home. This is my holiday.’
‘You can still have your holiday, it will just start a few days later.’
‘But why? It’s not as if you need me. You’re not even in the office for the next week or so. You’re in Zubran.’
‘I need you with me.’ He’d made the decision when he’d woken and realised what lay ahead of him. And that had been another decision that hadn’t been easy to make. For personal reasons, it would have been best to send her away. For professional reasons, he needed her there.
Her mouth fell open in shock. ‘You want me to go with you to Zubran? The desert?’
‘Desert and coast. Palm trees. Sand. Sun. All those rare things you are unlikely to find here in a typical British winter. Or a typical British summer if it comes to that. No more shivering. Just for a couple of days.’ He hadn’t expected her to argue because Emma never argued with him. Usually she anticipated what he needed and provided it with smooth efficiency. ‘And although you’ll be working for most of the time, there should also be some downtime when you can chill by the pool.’ But not with me. ‘And do some reading or something. While I work.’
‘Would you mind not emphasising the whole “one-off” thing all the time. I get it, OK? You don’t have to attach a caveat to everything you say. It’s very demeaning. As if you think I’ve suddenly turned into a creepy stalker.’
‘I was just trying to tell you that as well as work, you should be able to have some time for relaxation.’ Even as he said it, he wondered if she even knew the meaning of the word. It sounded as if her life had been one long slog since her early teens. ‘The meeting is tomorrow and the launch party is on Sunday night. In between I have to fit in media interviews. I want you to coordinate those.’
‘I know about the meeting. That’s why I drove here with those papers that need your signature. And I know about the party—I’ve been talking to Avery Scott about nothing but that party for the past six months. I can recite the guest list. I can itemize the menu.’
‘Which is precisely why I need you there.’
‘You want me at the party?’ She looked puzzled and then surprised. ‘I assumed you meant that you wanted me to deal with the media and attend the meeting.’
‘That too. I had an email from the Ferrara Group this morning. They want to talk about another possible development on Sicily. They’ve found a piece of land that interests them in a different part of the island and want to talk through ideas.’
‘Yes, I get all that—’ her head throbbed at the thought of yet more work ‘—but why would you want me at the party? It’s a social event.’
‘It isn’t a social event for me; it’s an opportunity to showcase our work, talk to prospective clients and answer questions about the hotel structure and design. Attending alone isn’t an option.’
‘You were taking Tara.’
‘Tara and I are finished.’
‘Oh—I’m sorry.’
And that, he thought, encapsulated the difference between them because he wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t sorry at all. He ended relationships frequently and not once had he cared enough to be sorry.
But judging from her expression she was sorry enough for both of them, concern evident in her gaze. ‘Were you in love with her?’
‘No.’