She nodded and walked towards the balcony doors. Glad of her acceptance of the situation, he slid open the large glass doors, letting the buzz from the city streets flow in.
‘Enjoy the view.’
She turned, her gaze meeting his, and another pang of guilt rushed over him. She looked so tired—but there was still a hint of the feisty woman who’d met him just a few hours ago. Their differences were far from settled. But this wasn’t something which could be settled overnight. This was much more, and the full implications of what Serena’s presence in Greece meant finally hit him.
What he did now would affect not only his life but his child’s—and Serena’s. Despite that, he didn’t regret the deal he’d put to her. It had presented itself so innocuously that at first he hadn’t seen it as important, but he knew that without it Serena would have walked away from him for ever, taking his child too.
It was far too close to the pain of his own childhood, and thoughts of his father’s blatant denial of his existence rushed forward like the tide with gale force winds behind it. He’d watched him withdraw until he could no longer look at his only son. There was no way he was going to deny his child existed, ignoring it like an inconvenience.
For the first time ever he knew he wanted to be different. Better. He wanted to be a father in every way—to be there each day and each night for his son. But to do that he needed Serena to stay with him...something his mother had been unable to do.
Those thoughts jarred inside him as he made a call to organise an evening meal to be brought in, trying not to think beyond that moment. He joined her on the balcony, where the warm evening air was finally cooling as he stood next to her.
It had been the same kind of warm weather the night he and Serena had walked along the beach for the last time. That night should have been for them to say goodbye, but one kiss had turned it into so much more.
His pulse began to pound like a drum and the hum of desire warmed his blood as he remembered the night that had changed his life for good.
He’d taken Serena in his arms, knowing it was time to say goodbye, to push her away, to deny himself the love which shone in her eyes each time they met. She deserved more than a cold-hearted man such as him: a man who could not and would not allow love into his life—and never into his heart.
She’d whispered his name as she’d kissed him, and he’d held her so tight, deepening the kiss, his hands caressing her body, committing to memory each and every curve. As passion had swept them away the champagne supper he’d organised as a farewell meal had lain abandoned beside them on the blanket. With the moon and the stars shining above them he’d made her his one last time, without thought of anything else.
‘Nikos, I love you,’ she’d whispered as his pulse rate had returned to normal.
Every drop of blood within him had frozen, crystallising in his veins, choking him. It wasn’t possible. He was unlovable. Hadn’t his mother said as much? Then, as the ice had splintered around them, he’d realised what had happened. He hadn’t used any form of contraception. He had broken the one rule he’d always followed and in doing so had exposed himself to the possibility of fathering a child.
Before he’d known how he’d been standing on the sand, looking down at her, with the blanket rumpled beneath her and the glasses of champagne spilt. Fury had boiled inside him at how easily he had been distracted. What if this moment of mad lust resulted in a child? He didn’t want to be a father. He couldn’t be a father.
As memories of that night rushed through him he knew that whatever he’d previously thought he could not turn his back on his child—ever. But that night he’d spoken starkly, each word more forceful than the last. ‘If there are consequences of what has just happened you will tell me.’
Anger had blinded him to anything else, and the evening he’d planned had dissolved around them. She’d got up, dusted the sand from her clothes and looked at him, her beautiful face paling. Before he’d been able to say anything else she’d fled, running from him as if he was the devil.
The damning words of love she’d said had replayed in his mind like a haunting melody, and with a cowardice he’d never before known he had remained where he was, watching her run from him.
Now she stood resolute and courageous on his balcony, with her gaze meeting his and the gold glow from the city casting shadows around her. For the first time he’d recalled what she’d said that night. That she loved him. Fear gripped him—not because of what she’d said, but because briefly he’d believed he could love her. If only his childhood experience of that powerful emotion had been different.
‘Excuse me. I will get the food,’ he said quickly, grateful of the distraction.
He didn’t want to think about what those words had meant, much less acknowledge them.
* * *
Exhaustion swept over Serena and she knew she couldn’t eat another bite of the delicious meal or engage in any more small talk. She had to sleep. She couldn’t put it off any longer and wished she’d insisted on a hotel. At least that would have given her some much needed time alone.
‘I’ll show you to your room,’ Nikos said, and he stood up, uncannily reading her thoughts.
He dominated the room, looking so handsome her heart hammered, but she couldn’t let that sway her. She had to remember what he was capable of.
She should feel relieved that she was to have her own room—that he wasn’t assuming they were going to continue where they’d left off. But she didn’t. It was like a rejection of her as a woman.
‘Thank you,’ she said, reassured by the patience in his tone. It still hurt, but she kept up a facade of defiance, not wanting him to know how disappointed she was and how much she wished things could be different.
Isolation crammed in on her. If only she’d been able to talk to her sister—confide in someone sensible and rational. Sally, eight years older, had always been her place to go for advice, which made the secret she now kept even harder to endure. Especially as it was the very thing Sally desired most in the world. Marrying Nikos was the only way to give that hope back to Sally.
‘I will be leaving early in the morning. I have an important meeting tomorrow. Relax, enjoy the apartment and I will be back at lunchtime.’
His blue eyes were full of concern, and for a moment she thought she saw genuine warmth in them. He stood holding the door open as she walked past him and she caught a hint of his aftershave. Citrus aromas mingled with crisp pine, reminding her of what it was like to be close to him.
‘Sleep well.’
He was leaving her alone—tonight and tomorrow. All sorts of scenarios, from boarding the first UK-bound plane to luxuriating here in his apartment, filled her mind. ‘Aren’t you worried I will leave?’
‘You may do whatever you wish, Serena, but I’m sure you want your sister’s happiness as much as I want to be a part of my child’s life.’
‘You’re hateful,’ she whispered harshly, the reminder of his terms knocking out any misplaced hope she might have been nurturing.
‘Just remember this: no matter where you go, I will find you.’
A hard edge of warning crept into his voice and she swallowed back her retort. Her heart thumped at the implication of his words.
‘Goodnight, Nikos.’ She stood behind the door of her room, using it as a shield against the darkness of his glittering eyes.
‘Goodnight, Serena.’ He turned and walked away, his footsteps on the marble floor as insistent as his voice.
She closed the door and took her phone from her handbag. Two missed calls from Sally. Her heart plummeted with dread. Could she say anything to her without blurting