We walked out of the block and I opened the gate that led into the fields next to the centre. Michael pulled his baseball cap down a little more.
‘You could do with a woolly hat to keep your ears warm. Let me see if there’s – ’
Michael caught my arm. ‘My ears are just fine. Now just relax and walk with me and this damn dog you’ve dragged me down here to see.’
***
‘I can’t believe how anyone could give him up.’
‘I don’t think it was an easy decision. Mark said the kids practically had to be peeled off him when they left.’
Michael shook his head. ‘Jesus. I don’t envy the parents living with that for a while. Janey had to throw away one of Lily’s dolls when its head broke off and you should have seen the drama! I can’t imagine taking away a living, breathing friend like this.’
We had paused for a moment and were sat side by side on a fallen tree. The dog was lying in front of us, playing with the ball we’d brought along and which Michael had been throwing for him, wearing both of them out.
The light was fading a little now and the air becoming damp and heavy. They’d predicted snow for this afternoon which hadn’t arrived but it was looking now like the forecast had just been a little off in its timing. But a part of me didn’t want to move from here. Even though my bum was getting cold and I was losing feeling in my fingertips. I wanted to stay, breathing in the clean air, feeling joy from watching the dog tap the ball away with his nose and then slap a paw on it to roll it back, and sensing the solid bulk of Michael sat next to me, his knee brushing against mine as he moved to lean and give the dog a pat.
‘We’d better head back if we’re going to beat that.’ Michael’s voice broke into my thoughts. I followed his gaze to the sky and nodded. He hadn’t said anything about taking the dog home. But I’d had a feeling about Rooney and that had only been confirmed by how Michael’s whole demeanour had changed the moment he’d crouched and called the dog in the kennel. The tenseness in his jaw, the way he held his shoulders- the moment he connected with that dog, it all dissipated. And I knew he felt it too.
As we got back to the kennel block, Michael handed me the lead.
‘Can I meet you in the car? I missed a call and I need to call them back.’ He bent over Rooney and gave him a cuddle. ‘See ya buddy.’ And with that, he strode off back towards the entrance.
I watched him go, stunned. The longer we had spent with the dog, the more sure I was that Michael felt that same way as me- that he too knew this was the right thing for him. The dog loved him, he loved the dog and could provide a wonderful home for him. What more did he want? I looked down. Rooney was watching the retreating figure. When Michael turned the corner and disappeared from sight, the dog looked up at me, and gave the smallest whine. At which point I, most unexpectedly, burst into tears.
‘I’m so sorry puppy,’ I said, as I finished towelling off his fur and fluffing up his bed and blankets. ‘But you know what? It’s his loss and you’re going to find a lovely home very, very soon.’ I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him to me. He snuggled his head into my shoulder and I felt the tears start again. He was a great dog and I knew this was the last time I’d see him. By the time I was back in he’d have a new home. But I was also sad at the missed opportunity for Michael. I wanted to be angry at him but I couldn’t. Like Mark said, and like I knew to be true, it had to be the right time. I’d thought it was the right time but maybe it wasn’t only Michael who could be arrogant at times. Perhaps I’d assumed I’d known more than I had, even if it had been meant with the best of intentions.
‘I can finish up here.’ Mark’s voice made me jump.
‘I’m pretty much done,’
‘OK. Your friend is out waiting for you. Probably best to go now, before the weather sets in.’
I nodded. ‘Yes. Right. OK. Bye then Rooney. You be a good boy now.’ I bent and kissed the top of his head and then walked out of the kennel. As I turned to lock the door, he was looking up at me, his head resting on the edge of the bed.
‘Shit,’ I whispered, my voice cracking.
‘It’s all right.’ Mark squeezed my shoulders as I did my best not to cry in front of him. ‘He’s going to be just fine, I promise.’
I nodded. ‘Yep, I know. I was just…so sure.’
‘I know. Now, go on before he leaves without you.’
‘That’s not beyond the realms of possibility, so I better had.’
‘See you next week.’
I gave him a quick hug and did a fast walk to the car park, where the pickup’s engine was now running. Pulling open the door, I jumped in and grabbed the seat belt, quickly plugging it in.
‘Sorry. Had a couple of things to do.’
‘No problem.’ Michael put a hand on the gearstick and then shifted a little in his seat. ‘You OK?’
‘Mmmhmm.’ I nodded, pasting a smile on. ‘It’s nice and warm in here.’
Michael’s hand curved around the gearstick, then uncurled again. I looked up at him.
‘He’ll be OK, you know.’
‘Huh? Oh yes! I know! Of course I know!’ I made light of it. ‘It was just a suggestion anyway. And it was nice to get out of the city and have a walk anyway, wasn’t it?’
‘It was. And thanks for lunch.’
‘I didn’t pay.’
‘You kind of did, in a way.’
I brushed my jeans, the stains obvious. It was a hell of a good job I wasn’t trying to impress Michael O’Farrell because between the serving disaster, stained jeans, frozen nose and what I was pretty sure now were at least marginally puffy eyes, I would most definitely have failed.
‘Worse things happen at sea and all that.’
‘That is true.’ Selecting reverse, he backed the truck out of the car park and headed back in the direction of London.
We’d only been going about five minutes when Michael started smiling. Obviously I was way more upset about leaving the dog behind than he was. But remembering that I was supposed to not be taking this to heart, I went along with it.
‘What are you smiling at?’ I asked.
‘You.’
Now I frowned, suspicious. ‘Me? Why?’
‘You’re making me hungry.’
‘What?’ I squeaked, scooching around in my seat to face him. My reply seemed to amuse him even more.
‘Calm down. It’s your jeans. The warmth from the car is bringing out the food smell in your clothing again. You smell edible.’
‘Ha ha.’
We drove for a few more minutes in silence before Michael spoke.
‘Katie look, I really appreciate what you – ’
My phone started ringing, cutting him off. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, fishing it out of my jacket. I checked the screen: Calum.
‘Hi!’
‘Hi babe. I’m so sorry I haven’t