Turning, Julia held out her hand for the diaper bag.
“Are we good?” Sam asked.
“Yep,” she said, again not meeting his gaze. “I’ll talk to you in a few days.”
A few days? They were engaged. He told himself it wouldn’t look good to the town, but the truth was he couldn’t wait a few days. Before he could respond, she’d scurried to the driver’s side, climbing in with one last wave and “Thanks” thrown over her shoulder.
Sam was left standing alone at the curb, wondering what had gone so wrong so quickly. He headed back to the house, hoping a cold shower would help him make some sense of things.
Julia swiped under her eyes and focused her attention on her mug of lukewarm coffee, unable to make eye contact with her mother or sister.
Lainey paced the length of Vera’s office in the All Creatures Great and Small animal shelter. By contrast, their mother sat stock-still behind her desk.
“That’s the whole story,” Julia finished. “The judge ordered us into mediation and that meeting is tomorrow morning. I don’t think it will do any good. I know what I want and Jeff’s parents know what they want. If we can’t come to an agreement with the mediator, there will be a final hearing where the judge makes a ruling.”
“Is Jeff going to be there?” Vera asked, her tone both soft and razor-sharp.
“I guess so, but it will be better if he isn’t, if it looks like it’s his parents who want this.” Her breath hitched. “The latest document I got from their attorney asks for an every-other-year joint-custody arrangement. There’s an opportunity for it to be amended if Charlie’s well-being is in jeopardy with one of the parties.”
“Every other year?” Lainey stopped pacing. “How can they think of taking him away from you for that long? You should have told us this as soon as you knew, Jules. Maybe we could have done something—”
“What, Lainey?” Julia snapped then sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you. But what could have been done? I hoped if I made it difficult for them, they might give up. The first letter said they wanted full custody and offered a hefty payment for the expenses I’ve already incurred in raising Charlie.”
“They thought you’d sell them your son?” Lainey’s voice was incredulous.
“That’s one way of looking at it. The last Jeff knew, I’d gotten pregnant as a way to keep him. He could have told his parents I didn’t really want to be a mother or wouldn’t be able to handle it on my own.”
“You’re not on your own.” Vera tapped one finger on the desk. “You have us. And Sam.”
Conflicting emotions welled in Julia’s chest again as she thought of Sam. He’d told her to talk to her mom and sister. She knew it was inevitable, so she’d called them both on the way home last night and asked them to meet her at the shelter before work. At the time, it had been a good way to distract herself from Sam and the way he made her feel.
He must have been baffled by her behavior after they’d kissed. Most women he knew could probably handle a simple kiss. Not Julia. Maybe it had been too long since she’d been in a man’s arms. It had taken every ounce of her willpower not to beg him to take her to bed. His touch had rocked her to her core and she’d had to beat a quick retreat so she wouldn’t do or say something she’d later regret.
When he’d proposed the pretend engagement, she’d had no idea how much her emotions would get in the way. She’d had no idea how it would affect her to see Sam cuddling Charlie against his broad chest. How much her body and heart would react to his arms around her. How quickly she’d come to depend on the comfort he gave her and how he made her feel strong by believing in her.
“I’m the one they’re going after,” she told her mom. “And Charlie.” A sob escaped her lips and she clamped her hand over her mouth.
Lainey rushed to her side and Julia let herself be cradled in her sister’s warm embrace. Silence descended over the trio. This was the time Julia would normally make a joke or sarcastic remark about her propensity to ruin her own life. But, right now, she was just struggling to not break down completely.
This was the reason she hadn’t told her family. Their sympathy and the disappointment she felt from them brought back too many memories of the past and the feelings that went with it. Her LD and the shame that went with it had made her put up walls against everyone around her. She’d gotten used to getting by, keeping secrets, not letting on how bad things really were. It was a difficult pattern to break.
From the time she’d been younger, Julia had made an unintentional habit of disappointing the people she loved. She’d let other people’s judgments guide the way she lived her life. The belief that she was lazy and stupid had stopped her from getting help so many times. It was easier not to open up to her family about her emotions. She was too afraid of being exposed as weak and lacking in their eyes.
Even when she’d shown up on her mother’s doorstep, pregnant, broke and alone, she hadn’t cried or offered long explanations or excuses. She just kept moving. Now she felt stuck in quicksand, as though nothing could save her.
Vera’s palm slammed onto the desk. “We won’t let this happen. Have you consulted Frank?”
Julia nodded. Frank Davis had been practicing law in Brevia for as long as she could remember and was a friend of her mother’s. After Sam’s suggestion that she see an attorney, she’d hired him to represent her. “He’s helping with the case.”
Vera nodded. “That’s a good start. You need to talk to Jeff. To understand why he’s doing this now when he had no previous interest in being a dad. Surely you’ll be awarded sole custody. You’re Charlie’s mother and you do a wonderful job with him.”
“I don’t know, Mom. Jeff’s family is arguing that they can give Charlie opportunities he’ll never have with me.”
“A child doesn’t need anything more than a loving family. Let them set up a college trust if they’re so concerned with opportunities.”
“What do you want to see happen?” Lainey asked.
That question had kept Julia up many nights. “I’ll support them having a relationship with Charlie. I’m sure as he gets older he’ll have questions about his father’s family. I want him to be surrounded by all the people who love him.” She paused and took a breath. “I’m afraid he’ll eventually choose them.”
“He won’t,” Lainey said softly.
“You can’t know that. But he needs to live with me now. Full-time. Swapping him back and forth is ludicrous.”
“I’m going to the mediation,” Vera announced.
Julia’s stomach lurched. As much as she appreciated and needed her family’s support, she was afraid it would only make her more nervous to have her mother with her. “That’s not a good idea. I appreciate the offer but I need to handle this on my own.”
Lainey squeezed her shoulder and asked, “Has Jeff contacted you directly or tried to see Charlie?”
Julia shook her head. “No. Neither have his parents, other than when I got messages about discussing the custody arrangement.”
“When did that start?” Vera came around the side of the desk.
“About a month ago. I ignored them until the certified letter arrived last week.”
“Ignoring your problems doesn’t make them go away.”
Funny, it had always worked for Julia in the past. She’d taken the easy way out of every difficult situation that came her way