KATE WAITED UNTIL Chase left, then secured the entrance to the tent as best she could. The wind still whistled outside and the rain drummed against the roof. Chase had made the interior seem almost cozy with his height and broad shoulders, but now it seemed big and empty. The flashlight illuminated the area directly around her bunk, but the rest of the large tent was cast in dark shadows that undulated with the wind and rain and made her think that someone was on the other side of the canvas, trying to get in.
Shivering, she opening her duffel bag and pulled out a pair of flannel lounge pants and a loose top. The walls of the tent sucked noisily in and out with the force of the wind, and Kate wished Chase would hurry. Fishing in her pocket, she pulled out the beeper that he had given to her earlier, and closed her fingers over it. Just holding it made her feel marginally better. She wanted to push it, but then he would know what a complete fraud she was, and that everything about this trip totally freaked her out. Besides, he’d promised that he would be right back; what would she say to him when he arrived? That she was afraid of the dark? That she was afraid of being alone? That he made her feel safe?
Yeah, right. If only that was all he made her feel. She recalled how he had looked in the bathroom, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. His body was layered with lean muscle and sculpted to masculine perfection. He was hot enough to bake cookies on. She could still picture the thrust of his broad shoulders and the bulging biceps in his powerful arms. She remembered again the feel of his mouth on her breast, and how perfectly he’d fitted in the cradle of her hips.
Just the memory of his body caused something to fist low in her stomach. Most of the time, he looked at her as if she was an annoyance, or just another mission that he needed to complete successfully. He’d said the incident in his bedroom had been a mistake, but for those few moments in the bathroom, she had seen something else in his eyes. Something hot and needy. Something that had caused a rush of heat beneath her skin.
Shivering, she realized the temperature had dropped dramatically from what it had been earlier in the day. Chase hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said the nights could get cold. Quickly, she stripped out of her wet clothing and changed into the flannel lounge pants and top, and pulled on a pair of socks. Still, she couldn’t get warm. She shook out the sleeping bag that had been left at the foot of the cot and unzipped it, dragging it around her shoulders like a shawl. But even cocooned in its warmth, she couldn’t stop shivering.
The flap of the tent billowed and then Chase was there, bringing the wind and rain with him, until he secured the entrance. Shrugging out of his rain poncho, he hung it from a support beam and turned toward Kate just as a crack of thunder sounded overhead.
Chase grinned. “I can’t remember the last time I saw a storm like this over here. Are you okay?”
Kate nodded, relieved to have him there. “Are you sure it’s safe to be in a tent? What if it gets struck by lightning?”
Chase sat down on the bed directly beside hers, leaning forward to link his hands between his knees. For the first time, Kate noticed that he had shaved his beard, revealing the strong, square line of his jaw. She wanted to stroke her fingers over the smooth skin.
“The tents are grounded,” he said, “so you have nothing to worry about. More than half of the troops on this base live in tents, and we haven’t lost one in a storm yet.”
The rain thundered on the canvas roof, and Kate pulled the sleeping bag a little closer around her shoulders. “I guess I’ll just have to trust you.”
An odd expression crossed his face, and Kate was surprised when he stood up. “Right. Which is why I should leave. Try to get some sleep.”
“What?” Pushing the sleeping bag off, Kate stood up and followed him across the tent. “Why are you leaving? I thought you were going to stay, at least until the storm passes.”
Chase paused in the act of retrieving his rain gear and gave her a disbelieving look. “Kate, if I stay here with you, do you really believe we’ll play cards?”
Kate’s breath caught at the expression on his face, and her heart leaped in her chest. “Look, if it’s about last night—”
“Yes, damn it, it is about last night.” His voice was a low growl. He leaned forward until his face was just inches from hers and raked her with a heated look. “I’m trying very hard to keep this professional, but every time I look at you, I see you lying across my bed, making little gasping sounds as I touch you. Christ …” He spun halfway around and scrubbed a hand over his hair before turning back to her. “So just—give me a break, okay? Understand that this has nothing with my not wanting to stay with you. I can’t stay with you. Not unless you want to be flat on your back in that bunk with me inside you.”
His words caused Kate’s heart to stop beating and then explode into overdrive. Part of her realized she should be at least a little bit frightened by this man, but the images he conjured up filled her with a buzz of awareness and a sense of her own feminine power. She knew that her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open, but nobody had ever spoken to her so bluntly, or admitted that he wanted her enough that he couldn’t trust himself to be with her.
Misreading her expression, Chase gave a rueful laugh.
“Pretty pathetic, huh? I guess I really have been deployed for too long.”
Kate didn’t know how to respond to that. Was it pathetic that he should find her attractive? And did he only find her attractive because he’d been deployed for so many months? How would he react if she told him that she hadn’t been with a guy in almost two years? Now that was pathetic.
Outside, another flash of lightning illuminated the sky, and wind gusted through the entrance, bringing a spray of cold rain with it. Chase grabbed his poncho from the hook and dropped it over his head.
“You have my beeper,” he said curtly. “Use it if you need me.”
Kate stared at him in dismay, unable to comprehend that he was really going to leave her alone in the enormous tent while a storm raged outside. It was wrong to expect him to stay with her. She was a grown woman, after all, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted him with her. “I don’t need your damned beeper, Chase. I want you.”
Chase held up a finger and gave her a warning look. “Don’t. I’m barely holding it together here, Kate.”
Before she could argue further, he pushed aside the flap and vanished into the night. Kate stood staring after him in disbelief for a full minute, expecting that he would reappear. But when an ear-splitting crack of thunder reverberated through the tent, Kate dashed back to her bunk and dragged the sleeping bag over her.
With her back pressed against the headboard, she sat with the flashlight in her hands, directing the beam at the entrance, certain that someone—or something—was going to get her before the night was over. The shadows seemed to grow and move in the corners, and the combined cacophony of rocks and sand being flung against the sides of the tent, as well as the hard rain drumming against the roof, guaranteed that she wouldn’t get any sleep that night.
She realized she still clutched Chase’s beeper in her hand, but nothing would induce her to press that button now. Not when he’d made it clear that he couldn’t be alone with her. He obviously was a man of honor, and there was no way she would ask him to compromise his principles for her.
An ear-splitting crack of thunder directly overhead, followed by what sounded like an explosion very close by, made her jump with alarm. Drawing a deep breath, she pressed the beeper.