She’d left him in a temper, she remembered, and woken up the next morning bleary-eyed with the tears she’d shed. They had been hailed as racing’s golden couple, both talented jockeys with a bright future. It was expected that Alex would one day take over from his father, and Maddie would be by her husband’s side, supporting him as Alex’s mum, Joan, had done for his dad. But it hadn’t felt like that to her then; it had felt as if he was trying to take control of her, even of her emotions, telling her how to feel and how to think and what to do.
With a gulp of apprehension, Maddie allowed herself to remember what had happened next...
She’d slept in past dawn, waking in a panic because she was late. Pulling on her jodhpurs and a thick, pale blue sweater, she had grabbed a packet of crisps as she passed through the kitchen before jumping on her bike. She was intent on getting to the yard before Scott, the head lad, noticed her absence. Her engagement to the boss’s son held no clout with him, and she respected that.
A late February frost had brought a sparkle to the gray surface of the lane. Even the few brave daffodils, whose glorious yellow flowers heralded the approach of spring, had glittered. Maddie could almost feel the sharp, clear morning air on her face as she relived the moment.
Her thighs had ached with effort as she pedaled up the hill from the village, and then she was freewheeling down the other side, her breath coming more easily as her bike increased speed.
It was as she approached the bridge that she saw it. The lane narrowed and she slowed her pace just as the black SUV came roaring into sight over the bridge, traveling way too fast. For a moment, she’d frozen. There was nowhere to go. Pulling on her brakes, she’d veered right, seeing the white face of the driver as he tried to avoid her. Oblivious to the ice, he’d stood on the brakes, but the big vehicle had just carried on, slithering sideways on the slippery road. She would never forget the horror that filled her whole body, the sheer, tortured fear that took away her breath and rendered her helpless.
When the vehicle hit her, strangely there was no pain. She felt a thud, heard the crack of bones unable to withstand the onslaught, felt the fuzziness inside her head that distanced her from the scene...and then came the blackness.
* * *
“MADDIE...MADDIE!”
It was only when Robbie pulled the car door open that she heard him. “Sorry,” she said, blinking. “I was miles away.”
“I won, Maddie!” he cried, jumping up and down.
“Won what?” she asked.
He flashed her a puzzled glance. “The drawing competition—you know, you helped me with it yesterday?”
“Of course... Sorry, Robbie, that’s brilliant. Your mum and dad will be so proud of you.”
“She is kind of like my mum, isn’t she?” he said thoughtfully, climbing into the backseat. “Cass, I mean... It’s like I’ve got two mums.”
“You can never have too many mums.” Maddie smiled. “Now tell me what they said about your drawing.”
Robbie’s excited chatter about his teacher’s glowing praise for the galloping horse he’d drawn, and his detailed account of the other contestants’ entries, took Maddie’s mind well away from her memories of the fateful morning that had realigned her hopes and dreams.
When they got back to Sky View, Robbie relayed the whole story again for Cass, who then asked Maddie if she would take him out to the yard to see his dad. Robbie’s dog, Choco, followed them, bouncing around in excitement.
They found Jake in the barn, feeding some youngsters. Maddie drank in the sweet aroma of hay, running her eyes over the six yearlings that were diving into buckets of feed. The environment brought such a heavy weight of memories that she felt the sudden rush of tears.
“Are you okay?” Jake asked, noticing her expression.
“Yes,” she said, forcing a smile. “Just a bit of hay fever, I think.”
“Best get back into the house, then,” he suggested. “Cass will have some antihistamines, I’m sure. Rob can stay and help me.”
Maddie walked slowly back across the yard, stopping by each stable to gently stroke the head of every inmate. So many beautiful horses—grays and bays and chestnuts, all eager for attention. The horses at Sky View were happy horses, she decided, wondering how long it would take before she felt confident enough to try riding one. It annoyed her that she had to wait until a quiet one came into the yard, but that was something she just had to accept. Planting a determined smile upon her face, she continued to the house. If she had to pretend to be a novice, then that was what she would do.
“You may as well head off,” Cass suggested when Maddie stepped into the kitchen. “Thanks for picking Robbie up.”
“It’s what you pay me for,” Maddie said, grinning.
“Yes, but you’re so good with him.”
Maddie shrugged. “Well...he’s a great little boy.”
“He certainly is. Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell you earlier, but you may as well have tomorrow as your day off. I’m at the hospital and Jake is coming with me. We’re going out to lunch after, and Bill is away for the day, too, so there’s not much point in your coming in. Is that okay?”
“It’s fine by me,” Maddie said. Truth was, the thought of having a day to rest and build up her strength was very appealing. She’d done more in the past few days than she had in over eighteen months.
“So I guess I’ll see you on Friday, then. Can you get here in time to take Robbie to school?”
“Of course,” Maddie responded, pulling on her jacket. “And have a nice day tomorrow... I mean, not at the hospital of course, but...”
“I know what you mean.” Cass laughed. “Doctors’ appointments are never much fun, but we’ll have a nice lunch somewhere and then we’re going to go and buy a stroller... Wow, I never thought I’d hear myself say that.”
“Well, it’s a bit too late to change your mind now,” Maddie said, glancing meaningfully at Cass’s belly. “And you’re going to need a stroller pretty soon.”
Cass grimaced. “Three weeks tomorrow, actually, and I’m definitely not looking forward to it. I mean, I’m looking forward to being a mum, of course—it’s just the birth that worries me.”
Maddie placed a reassuring hand on Cass’s arm. “Thousands of people have babies every day, so surely it can’t be that bad. And if it was, then why would anyone have more than one?”
“Thanks, you’re right. I’m just being stupid. I’ll see you on Friday, and you can give me your opinion on my beautiful brand-new stroller. I’m thinking of getting something really outrageous.”
“Good for you.” Maddie smiled again. “And have a nice day tomorrow.”
As she walked toward her car, Maddie felt a sudden lurch of regret. If things had been different, she could have been like Cass right now, married to a man she loved, satisfied and secure...maybe even pregnant, too. No...she definitely wouldn’t be pregnant; she’d still be riding in races and living her life.
Alex’s face came into her head, an image of him on the day he’d told her he had met someone else, and she knew her sense of regret was misplaced. Relief was what she should be feeling, for