Emma was waiting in the bathroom, stripped down to her birthday suit and clutching her favorite rubber ducky. “Bubbles?” she asked hopefully.
“Bubbles. But only a quick bath tonight. It’s late.”
The little girl nodded solemnly. “Okay, Mommy.”
Cassie’s heart squeezed. No matter how stressed or tired she was, she never got tired of hearing the word Mommy from her baby’s lips. She couldn’t say she’d done everything right, but this little girl—she had to be a reward for something. She was too good to be anything but that. There was nothing Cassie wouldn’t do for her. Which was why it broke her heart to know she couldn’t give Emma her biggest wish.
“So did you have fun today at the Sandpiper?” She watched the water level rise around her daughter, the bubbles forming softly scented mountains.
“Yup. I played with Murphy and ate brownies, and we saw a butterfly, and Mr. Nic pushed me super high on the swings.”
Nic was Jillian’s husband. He had bought the Sandpiper for Jillian just a few months ago, and the playground was one of the first things he’d added to the grounds. He and Jillian were hoping for a child of their own soon, but in the meantime the paying guests—and Emma—made good use of it. “That sounds like a real adventure.”
“Uh-huh. And then Miss Jillian helped me make my valentines. I made one for her, and you, and for a daddy. We just need to get one so I can give it to him.”
Darn. The child hadn’t forgotten, not that Cassie was surprised. Emma had perfect recall when it came to what she wanted. Now to figure out a way to let her down without breaking her heart. “Honey, I can’t just go get you a daddy.”
Emma frowned up at her.
Okay, that didn’t work. “You are going to have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. You’re going to have a party at school with cupcakes and candy and everything. And then we’ll go to the big dance. It’s going to be great, you’ll see.”
“It would be better if I had a daddy. Then he could be our valentine. Like Mr. Nic is Jillian’s valentine. I heard him say so.”
Cassie blinked back the sudden sting of tears. She’d tried to be everything for Emma, to provide enough love for two parents, but the older Emma got, the more she realized something was different. Something, someone, was missing.
“A daddy would be nice,” she conceded. “But you have me. And we’re a great team, you and I. So if you don’t have a daddy right now, that’s okay, because we have each other, right?”
Emma looked thoughtful, her nose crinkling as she considered. “But why don’t I get to have a daddy? Lots of kids at school have one.”
The pounding behind Cassie’s eyes returned with a vengeance. Rubbing her temples, she tried to explain to her daughter what she still didn’t understand herself. “That’s just how it is sometimes. Some kids have mommies, and some kids have daddies, and some kids have both.”
“Oh, and some kids don’t have a mommy or a daddy, right? That’s why we get to have the Share the Love party, to help them, right, Mom?”
Cassie sighed in relief. “Right, honey. Those kids are in foster care with people that take care of them until they get a new mommy and daddy. Every family is different, and we just have to be happy about the one we have.”
Her face falling, Emma nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Watching her daughter’s solemn expression, Cassie felt like she’d kicked a puppy. The guilt sat heavy in the pit of her stomach, reminding her of how her choices had led to this. Her impulsiveness, her recklessness, had created this situation. For the millionth time, she fought the instinct to regret ever meeting her lying ex. But of course, without him, there would be no Emma. And that was simply unthinkable. Being a single parent was hard, but it was worth it.
That didn’t mean that she didn’t sometimes wish she had a partner in all of this. As she toweled Emma off and got her ready for bed, she wondered what it would have been like to have a man to talk to once her daughter was asleep. Instead of eating ice cream out of the carton, she’d have someone she could talk things out with, someone to share her fears and frustrations with.
But letting someone into her life, relying on him like that, was too big a risk. She’d let her emotions carry her away once, and look how well that turned out. No, she needed to keep doing what she was doing and leave the idea of romance alone. She wasn’t any good at it, and she couldn’t afford to make that kind of mistake again.
Alex was still shaking his head over Mrs. Rosenberg’s sign-up shenanigans ten hours later. And puzzling over the intriguing veterinarian, despite the way she’d blown him off. She was fire and ice, and definitely not interested, but he couldn’t quite get her out of his head. Between her and Mrs. Rosenberg, the island definitely had its share of headstrong women.
He’d spent the long night patrolling the quiet streets of Paradise and the connecting highway across the bridge, alone except for Rex and his own thoughts. He was grateful for the lack of crime, but the slow shift gave him too much time to think, too much time to remember the chain of events that had brought him here. Not that this was a bad place to be.
When he’d accepted the position with the Palmetto County Sheriff’s Department, he’d expected to be working at the county headquarters in Coconut Bay. Instead he’d been assigned to the small substation serving Paradise. The island was too small to support a city police force, so it, like some of the rural ranching areas across the bridge on the mainland, was under county law enforcement.
As dawn approached, he made a last loop along the beach road to catch the sunrise over the ocean. Stopping in one of the many parking spaces that bordered the dunes, he got out and stretched, his neck popping loudly. At Rex’s insistence, he opened the back door as well, snapping the dog’s leash on and walking him to a grassy area to relieve himself. When the dog had emptied his bladder, they strolled together to one of the staircases that led down to the sand.
Here he had an unobstructed view of the water and the already pink sky that seemed to melt along the horizon, the water turning a molten orange as the fiery sun crept up to start the day. Sipping from the lukewarm coffee he’d picked up a few hours ago at a gas station on the mainland, he let himself enjoy the quiet. No jarring static from the two-way radio, no traffic, just the soft sound of the waves rolling on the sand and Rex’s soft snuffling as he investigated the brush along the stairway.
Alex had made a habit of doing this since he moved here. In the clear morning light, he could feel good about himself, his job, the direction his life was taking. The fresh start to the day was a reminder of his own fresh start, one that he hadn’t asked for, but probably needed.
He was over thirty now, as his mother never failed to remind him. Maybe here he’d find a life beyond his work. He wasn’t a family man; nothing in his background had prepared him for that kind of life, but a place like Paradise made him want to settle down a bit, make some friends, maybe join a softball team or something.
Chuckling at the image, he turned to go. Rex, trained to stay with him, uncharacteristically resisted the tug on the leash. Maybe he was tired, too.
“Here, boy! Come on, it’s quitting time. Let’s go.”
The dog stood his ground, whiskers trembling as he stared into the dark space under the steps.
“What it is it, boy?” Alex