‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I say. And then I run up the steps and disappear inside my flat.
By Sunday, I’m in trouble. I’ve written precisely three paragraphs, and they’re mostly the heroine waxing lyrical about the hero’s tie. Every time I try to get either of them naked, my hands start to shake, and the only key I can find is delete.
I can’t do it. I’m trying, but it’s just not happening.
But I don’t think I’ll be able to stand it if Dave wins, either. So I pick up my phone, and before I can lose my nerve, I call Phil. He answers almost immediately.
‘Amy,’ he says. His voice does something to my insides, to my knees, to my everything. Actually, it mostly does it to my pussy. It’s the same sort of feeling I get when Mr Smith bends Sally over the bed, in my favourite scene in Spank Me Sir. I can’t deny that I like the feeling, though I’d die from embarrassment if he ever found out. But he got me in to this, and now he has to get me out of it. ‘How’s the story going?’
‘Badly.’
‘How much have you written?’
‘Do you want an exact word count?’ I ask, fiddling with the corner of a sofa cushion. ‘Or the ballpark figure?’
There’s a sigh. ‘Do you want Dave to win?’
‘No, of course not. It’s just…I’m no good at this sort of thing, Phil. I’m not that sort of person.’
‘So you haven’t written anything?’
‘I have tried,’ I tell him. ‘I just…I can’t do it, Phil.’
‘OK,’ he says. ‘Jules said you had a dirty book. She saw one in your bathroom. Read me some of that instead. Let’s see what we’re aiming for.’
I sit upright on the bed. ‘I really don’t think…’
‘Come on,’ he says. ‘Read me what you’ve got.’
‘Don’t you think this is a bit weird?’ My face is on fire and my palms are sweaty, and I don’t know why I don’t just make some excuse and hang up, but this is Phil. He’s been my friend for as long as I can remember, even longer than Jules. We can talk about this. It’s fine.
‘Weird how?’
‘You know,’ I say. ‘Weird you and me. Talking about sex weird.’
‘Sex is weird,’ he says. ‘What’s your point?’
I wish I knew. ‘It’s just weird, that’s all.’
‘Amy,’ he says. ‘You can trust me. You know that, right?’
‘Of course,’ I say. ‘But…’
‘Read,’ he says.
I can feel my stomach pushing its way up into my throat. I don’t want Phil to know how hard I’m finding this. I don’t want him to think badly of me. I sit there, gripping the phone in my sweaty hand, breathing too loud, too fast.
‘Enough of the heavy breathing already,’ Phil says. ‘Come on.’
‘OK!’ I snatch up my iPad and start to read.
He dug his fingers into her shirt and ripped it away from her body, exposing the full bounty of her sensitive breasts. Her nipples poked out, hard and dark, and he pinched them until she whimpered with delight. Yes, he said, yes. Tell me, Sally. Tell me what you want.
I rush through those few lines, stumbling over the letters. I have to stop and start again a couple of times. My tongue feels too big for my mouth, and I can’t believe I’m actually reading this out loud. To Phil.
‘Keep going,’ Phil says. His voice is soft, and there’s something about it, something different. I don’t know what it is.
But I am suddenly all too aware of a low throb between my legs, almost like a heartbeat.
‘What is it, Sally?’
‘Please, Sir. Please, let me pleasure you.’ She kept her hands at her sides, knowing that if she moved, he might deny her what she craved so badly. The hot thrust of his erection into her mouth, as he fucked her face over and over.
‘You want to suck my cock, Sally? Is that right?’
‘Yes, Sir.’
‘Very well.’
His elegant fingers slowly lowered the zipper of his beautifully tailored trousers. Sally could feel her body humming with excitement. She made no move to touch him, not yet, but she could smell the musky scent of his aroused cock, that heady mixture of warm skin and soap and sweat and the slippery moisture that lubricated his shaft when he was aroused.
Long fingers sank into his open fly, and then he slowly pulled his stiff prick free.
‘Fuck,’ Phil whispers. ‘That’s sexy.’
‘Do you…do you like it?’
It takes him a moment to reply, a moment in which my heart seems to stop. ‘Yes,’ he says finally. ‘Read me some more.’
I push my laptop aside, move myself further up the bed, until I’m leaning back against the pillows. I look at the words on the page, the familiar, dirty words. I swallow. I take a deep breath. And then I read some more.
Sally gazed at his erection, so long, so thick. Her mouth watered with anticipation. She had waited for this. She needed this.
‘Open your mouth,’ he commanded her.
Sally obeyed without question
The first thrust was sudden, sharp, deep. He sank his fingers into her hair, holding her firmly. She couldn’t breathe, but it didn’t matter. She could taste him, rich and musky. Her clit throbbed, and she could feel how wet her pussy was becoming. But she didn’t touch herself. She couldn’t, not unless he commanded it. She was his to use, as he would a toy for his pleasure.
‘Ah, Sally,’ he said, as he pulled back, and thrust again into her mouth. ‘No one sucks cock quite as well as you.’
She closed her lips around his thickness then, and began to suck, pressing her tongue against the thick vein that ran the length of the underside of his erection.
He groaned, and pushed himself deeper into her throat, until the heavy swing of his balls pressed against her chin. Then he withdrew.
Sally gasped, pulling in the air she needed, already seeking him again.
‘No,’ he said.
I pause. I’m clutching the phone tightly, and for a moment, I wonder if Phil is still there. I half hope he isn’t, because I’m not sure I can read the next part. My pussy is throbbing insistently, aching with the need to be touched. I move my legs restlessly. My knickers are damp. He can’t see you, I remind myself. Not that it matters. I’m still not about to masturbate while he’s on the other end of the phone. But I’m so hot. I shove myself upright, pull up my skirt, and tug my knickers off. Cool air settles on my heated skin. Better. Much better. I tug my skirt back down.
‘Amy,’ he says. Just my name, that’s all. Just that one word.
‘Yes?’
‘Carry