“Good luck with that,” Derrick grumbled.
“Don’t need luck. Just two words that’ll make me happy.”
I do. Yeah, he got it.
“You’re still my best man?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Even though he’d like to. He didn’t need a reminder of the love he’d once had and lost, but he wouldn’t tell Dylan no. They were close, all the brothers were, and Derrick would do his part, even if it about killed him.
He must have frowned because Dylan said, “It’s been a long time.”
Like he’d ever forget. “Feels like a hundred years.”
“Think it’s time to move on?”
He barked out a harsh laugh. “Move on to what?”
“Happiness.”
Derrick didn’t hide his annoyance. “Happiness is overrated.”
“Says the guy who won’t give any nice woman he dates a chance.”
Okay, that was true. He’d been accused of being a serial dater albeit it wasn’t the case. He purposely let his brothers believe he was out enjoying the wild, single life when he was still hung up on Hannah. It was better for them to think he couldn’t commit, instead of witnessing their pity if they knew otherwise.
“I don’t need your opinion on how to live my life.”
Dylan raised a dark eyebrow. “Aren’t you the first one to stick your nose in our business? You made sure to give me unsolicited advice when Kady and I started dating. And if I remember correctly, you managed to butt into Deke’s and Dante’s love lives, as well.”
“I’m the oldest brother. It’s my job to put in my two cents.”
“Even when it’s unsolicited?”
Derrick lifted a shoulder. “Blame it on the cop in me.”
“More like you want to be in control.”
“Can’t help myself. I’ve got Mom’s genes.”
Dylan snorted. “On that we can agree.”
Derrick dug the toes of his boots into the sifting sand. Said in a quiet voice, “I was the first one to fall in love. The first one to talk about getting married. Now look at me. I work too much, don’t ever commit, as you endlessly remind me, and have to put a smile on my face to make our mother happy.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. You tried to find her.”
“A lot of good that did.”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
Derrick shot him a sharp look. “Really? Who else?”
Dylan wisely kept his mouth shut.
“She’s out there, Dyl. Somewhere, she’s out there.”
Hannah Rawlings had been his first love. His only love. The one who got away.
He glanced at his brother. “I was sure I had a good lead two years ago.”
Dylan sighed. “You’ve searched for years. Never made any headway. Let her go. Give yourself a chance to grieve and then start embracing life. Get serious with a woman.”
It wasn’t like the idea had never occurred to Derrick. There had been a woman once, but in the end, the memory of Hannah had overshadowed the budding relationship. Still, he’d ignored the idea of moving on. Until now.
Recently he’d been rethinking his goals. Wondered what they’d look like without Hannah at the forefront. There was more to life and he was missing out by searching for a woman who didn’t want to be found.
“For once I’m inclined to go along with that.”
Astonishment flashed across Dylan’s face but was quickly gone. “Wise choice.”
Was it? He closed his eyes. Shouts of laughter and conversation surrounded him. He’d come to Cypress Pointe this weekend at Jasmine’s summons—yes, he still jumped when his mother called—as did all his siblings. But this time was different. His mother was about to announce her engagement to a man he and his brothers had suspected of harboring a secret past. Turned out they’d been right, he had a shady history, mistakes he’d made after losing his wife and his way, errors he was currently atoning for by paying back the families he’d swindled more than a decade ago. Nevertheless, there could be more to him than they’d uncovered and even though Dylan still talked about investigating, Derrick had convinced him to drop it. The kicker? Derrick kinda liked James Stanhope. He too was intimately acquainted with regrets of the past. Sometimes it was okay to let it go.
Could he do that with Hannah?
A woman’s bubbly laughter floated his way and memories bombarded him.
Bicycling to the beach under a blazing summer sun. Hannah’s riotous auburn curls shining, her hazel eyes filled with teasing merriment. They’d exchanged class rings junior year and she’d been excited to wear the necklace that held his ring around her neck. Every year they’d celebrated their birthdays on the same day. He’d always said she was the best birthday present he’d ever received.
They’d started hanging out when they were eight or nine, became an item at thirteen and planned to run off and get married the day after their eighteenth birthdays. Except when he showed up that special morning to whisk her away, she was gone. Her entire family vanishing into thin air.
If Hannah could, or wanted to, wouldn’t she have contacted him by now?
That was the part that tripped Derrick up, because bottom line, the real reason he’d never found her might be because she didn’t want to be found by him.
“What’s changed?” Dylan asked, drawing Derrick back to the conversation.
“I guess seeing my brothers have fulfilling lives. Even Mom. After years of being a widow, she found love again.” He turned to his brother. “I want that.”
“Then go for it.”
Easier said than done. He’d only ever loved one woman in his thirty-five years on earth. Didn’t know if he had it in him to try with another.
As if given a silent cue, the crowd started moving toward the gingerbread-decorated gazebo outlined in twinkling lights located just off the beach. Derrick and Dylan got up and followed the others. His mother and James stood in the center of the structure, his arm around her waist, his mother smiling into James’s eyes. Yep. Didn’t have to be a crack FBI special agent to realize it was time for the big announcement.
Rather than hang around his brothers and their girlfriends, he lingered in the back of the crowd, staying in the shadows. The wind whipped through again. It was a cold January evening, even for Florida standards. They’d gotten together to usher in the new year, but when their mother asked them to stay a few extra days, they knew Jasmine Matthews was up to something.
“Thank you for coming tonight, all our family and friends.” Jasmine’s eyes glowed with a barely contained joy. As Derrick glanced at the couples around him, he noticed a similar theme.
The envy kicked up again.
“As you know, James and I were lucky to find each other. And we’ve been even more fortunate to have your support.”
A snort escaped Derrick.
When he and his brothers had confronted James last autumn, they’d gotten two big surprises. One, James admitted his past as a con artist but confessed he’d been on the straight and narrow for a very long time. His mother ordered Derrick and his brothers to back off and they had. He kept waiting for one of his brothers to come up with a plan to break up the couple, but so far nothing had come to pass. At least nothing they were telling him since he’d landed on Team James.