Hester didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she flicked through the pile of résumés on the desk in front of her. ‘All of these are from external applicants. While I don’t doubt that their credentials are excellent, and while I agree I don’t always see eye to eye with you, Lila, I do think you’re a good nurse. I’m also paid to have foresight, and I can’t see it going down too well with the rest of your colleagues if I employ an outsider for a job you’re effectively already doing.’
Hester had a point there. Since Jane Church had left, more often than not Lila had been in charge of the department, and the rest of the night staff had been pushing endlessly for Lila to apply for the position permanently.
‘Now, I’m certainly not going to hand you such a senior position on a plate, but I definitely would seriously consider you if you decided to go ahead and apply. Who knows? When it’s you handling the stock-ordering and budgets, maybe a measly couple of bandages might take on a greater importance.’
Lila managed a faintly sheepish grin as Hester continued. ‘The applications close tomorrow at five p.m. It’s up to you whether your name’s amongst them. I’d better let you get back to the unit.’
Making her way back to emergency, Lila shook her head in disbelief. Hester suggesting she apply for the position was the last thing she had been expecting. Correction, Lila thought as she rounded the corner and saw Declan standing by the whiteboard, studying the patient list. Declan Haversham strolling back into her life as, of all things, the newly appointed emergency registrar was the last thing. How on earth was she supposed to deal with this?
As she approached the huddle of nurses taking the handover, painfully aware of his eyes on her, Lila took a deep breath. It was going to be a long, long night.
Once the handover was completed, as the nurse in charge it was up to Lila to assign the nurses their various roles for the night. It was quite a complicated task. Assessing the patients who were in the department, along with nurses’ capabilities, was a constantly evolving juggling act.
‘Sue, you take the obs ward, if anyone gets admitted, otherwise stay down in section A with me. For now start shifting some of the patients up to the wards,’ Lila said, writing swiftly on the whiteboard as she did so. ‘Lucy and Amy, you stay in section A with me, and help Sue. We’ll all cover Resus together. Gemma, perhaps you could close section B now and bring the patient list up here. And, girls,’ she added, calling back the dispersing group, ‘remember your para-training.’
‘Will do, Lila.’ Sue grinned. ‘Hey, what did the Horse want?’
‘What do you think she wanted?’ Lila said lightly. She certainly wasn’t about to divulge the real reason for Hester’s little chat. It would be bad enough not getting the job, without every one knowing about it! ‘You do realise I cost the hospital four dollars tonight, teaching you Neanderthals the finer points of gymnastics.’
‘And a real treat it was, too.’ Lila pointedly didn’t look round as Declan came over.
‘I never knew you were such a talented gymnast.’ She could hear the familiar dry humour in his voice, but still she didn’t look. ‘But then what would I know? I never even realised you were a nurse.’
Sue gave them both a quizzical look. ‘I’ll get cubicle four up to the ward, then,’ she said, leaving them to it.
For the longest time they stood there, both pretending to study the whiteboard. It was Declan who finally broke the silence. ‘So you were serious about nursing after all?’
Lila gave a curt nod. ‘It looks that way.’
‘I guess you must have got over your weak stomach?’
‘Not in the slightest.’
He looked up at her wry chuckle. ‘But you work in Emergency!’ His voice was incredulous, but Lila was used to shock when she admitted her weakness. Her response was well rehearsed.
‘Name one person who loves every aspect of their job.’ When he didn’t immediately answer Lila jumped right in. ‘See, you can’t! Emergency isn’t just about blood and gore—that’s just one aspect of it…’
A smile was twitching on his lips, and those smoky dark eyes were crinkling in that endearingly familiar way.
‘What?’ Her voice was defensive, an instinctive reaction to his response. She still read his face so well, almost knew what he was thinking.
‘You’re still as passionate as ever.’ He cleared his throat, as if realising the faux pas he had just committed. ‘I mean…’ His voice trailed off.
Passionate. The word hung in the air between them, conjuring dangerous images of long ago.
Images best forgotten.
Finally he found his voice. ‘How on earth do you cope?’
She swallowed hard. ‘Red cordial helps.’ Her words were light and glib, a deliberate attempt to lighten the increasing tension.
‘Red cordial?’
‘Any blood I see, I just imagine it’s cordial.’
He was really smiling now. ‘And does it work?’
‘Mostly.’
‘And when it doesn’t?’
It was Lila’s turn to smile now. Rolling her eyes, she pulled a face. ‘I just hope for a soft landing.’
‘You’re not serious?’
‘Absolutely. But don’t worry,’ she added quickly, ‘I always get heaps of warning, and I haven’t fallen on top of a patient yet—touch wood.’
‘Glad to hear it.’ There was a long pause as again they pretended to look at the whiteboard. ‘How’s your mum doing?’ His voice was gentle now, wary.
‘She’s fine. Well, not fine, exactly, but we’re managing.’
‘That’s good.’ The silence that followed was deafening. ‘Where is she now?’
Lila turned then, the look of contempt on her face clearly apparent. ‘At home, Declan, with me—where she belongs.’
‘But how…?’ His voice was bewildered now. ‘It’s been eight years. How do you manage? I mean with work and everything?’
‘I manage.’ She gave him the frostiest of looks. ‘That’s all you need to know. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get on.’ But as she went to go his hand reached out and caught her wrist, gently pulling her back.
‘Lila,’ he said, not letting her go. ‘I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable—I had no idea that you worked here.’
Though he wasn’t holding her tightly, she was achingly aware of the force of his touch. Shrugging him off, Lila picked up a marker pen. ‘Well, how would you know? It’s not as if we kept in touch…’
‘Which was your choice, as I recall.’
Crossing out the name of the patient in cubicle four on the whiteboard, Lila scribbled in the new patient’s details. ‘I can assure you, Declan, your being here doesn’t worry me one bit. We’ve both got jobs to do. It doesn’t mean we have to be the best of friends; we’re just colleagues.’
‘No, but it would be nice if we could at least be civil. Who knows? With a bit of effort from both sides maybe we could be friends again. After all, we had some good times, Lila.’
She hesitated. Friends was the last thing she could ever be with him, but if she betrayed the strength of the emotions that were engulfing her now then surely that would only make things more uncomfortable. Forcing a smile, Lila turned and faced him, dragging her eyes up to meet his.