All because of that player, Harry Whitman. Tush, was Mudd sorry that he’d come with the master on the high roads up North. Mackering had changed for the worse since that fateful day, the day they’d cheated Whitman at dice. He’d become fretful with a temper that exploded like rain clouds.
Mudd sighed and rubbed his nose, appreciating its wholeness. May his hap stay good, may the coney’s purse be heavy tonight.
It wasn’t too long before the gull stumbled out of the tavern, his arms looped around a clubfooted jack, the two of them singing loudly about a whore of Greenwich. The dupe’s companion was thin and seemed to be having a hard time keeping the lardish knight afoot.
Mudd wondered how much he could cheat out of the sod. Two shillings? Maybe three, if luck be a sweet wench. He had watched the knight for at least an hour, and the gallant had spent freely, buying sack for all those interested in being bored by his tales. The night might prove very good indeed. Maybe, then, with his hands filled with shillings, Master Mackering would be satisfied.
The two dolts stopped. A moment later the knight undid his codpiece and pissed against the side of the alehouse. Now was Mudd’s chance. He approached the fat man with an unsteady gait, swaying markedly as if he, too, were inebriated. At the correct moment he bumped into the gallant, bounced to his right and stumbled to the ground.
“A thousand pardons, good sir.” Mudd spoke loudly, slurring his words.
The gallant looked at Mudd’s torn clothes and dirty face and sneered.
“Watch where you’re going, cur!” he yelled, trying to reattach his dangling codpiece.
“A thousand and thousand pardons, my good sir,” Mudd answered. He attempted to upright himself and again fell to the ground.
“Nothing so repulsive as one who cannot hold his drink,” remarked the dupe’s crippled companion.
“Where are the constables when they are needed?” the gallant boomed. He was fully dressed now, tripping over his feet but not falling. “Constable! Constable!”
“Try the watchmen,” suggested the man with the clubfoot.
“Tis a bonny idea,” agreed the knight. “Watchman! Watchman!” He leaned against the cripple and his weight knocked both of them over.
“Stupid sot,” the knight said to Mudd. “Now see what you’ve done!” He managed to stand up, and pulled Clubfoot to his feet. “Are you well, sir?” the knight asked his companion, brushing dust off his sleeves.
“Aye, quite well,” Clubfoot said. He hobbled around in a circle. “No thanks to this churl!”
“Out of my sight before I step on you, beggar,” the gallant said, nudging Mudd’s stomach with the tip of his boot. “Watchman! Constable! Watchtable!”
“Now, a God’s will,” Mudd said, “what have I found?” He picked up a piece of paper and unwrapped it. A gilt spoon spilled to the ground.
The gallant’s eyes widened.
Mudd stared stuporously at the item, then picked it up. “What shall I do with such a geegaw?” he asked.
“Sir,” the cripple said. “I marvel at your good luck!”
“Good luck?” Mudd acted confused. “What good is this?”
The gallant smiled. “Let me help you to your feet, dear man.”
Mudd was yanked upward. He recoiled from the fat knight’s breath, reeking of garlic and cheap sack.
Clubfoot said, “Sir, that geegaw is worth—”
The gallant said, “Sir, you have found a trinket worth nothing.”
“My luck,” Mudd pouted. “Marry, I wish someone else would have found this. What shall I do with such trumpery?”
The knight brushed the dirt off Mudd’s shredded jerkin. “I shall take it off your hands.”
“Nay, perhaps I shall give it to my mother!” Mudd swayed on his feet. “Perhaps I shall give it to my sister.” He stared at it and examined it closely. “Perhaps I shall throw it away. Would I have a crown instead of such a silly toy?”
“A crown, nay,” said the cripple. “But I’ll trade you a shilling for it.”
“You said it is but a toy,” Mudd said, confused. “Yet you offer me a shilling?”
“Aye … It strikes my fancy,” the cripple replied.
“I shall give you two shillings,” the gallant countered, shaking off the arm of the cripple.
Clubfoot became angry.
“He tries to cheat you,” he said. “I shall give you four shillings.”
“This lame jack is a scoundrel,” the gallant retorted. “Five.”
Mudd stared at Clubfoot. It was now his turn to up the auction.
“Five is too grand a price for me,” the cripple said. “I have only four shillings, twopence in my doublet.”
“I will give you five shillings for that trinket, sir,” the gallant cried.
“Aye, take it for five shillings.” Mudd shrugged, giving him a vacant smile. He held out the spoon, then swiftly retracted it. “You’d not be cheating would you?”
“Nay, good sir, never!” the gallant insisted. “The trinket is … for my wife. She is fond of such toys.”
The cripple said, “Sir, I suggest you take it to a goldsmith. I suspect it could be valuable.”
The knight glared at him.
Mudd pondered the suggestion, then threw up his arms. “Who has the time for such tomfoolery?” he said. “Tis but a toy to me, and five shillings is five shillings. If you want it for five shillings, I’ll strike a bargain with you.”
“Done,” the gallant said. He quickly handed Mudd the coins and snatched the spoon from his hands.
“He has cozened you,” the clubfoot announced.
“Out of here, you lame fool,” the knight yelled.
“Bah!” said the cripple. “Drunken dolt.”
“Pay him no attention,” the gallant said after Clubfoot left. “Perhaps this chance meeting, dear sir, will bring us sweet fortune.”
“Aye, good luck indeed, indeed,” Mudd said. He smiled an idiot’s grin.
He tottered away. When safely out of sight, he laughed. Five shillings! So much more than he had hoped for. He opened his jerkin and felt inside his pockets. There were four of them left—four small, wrapped packages of “valuables”—dross metal spoons covered with gold paint. At five shillings apiece, he’d walk away with a goodly bung—a purse full of gold. A sweet evening it was proving itself to be.
Aye, plenty of coins for Master Mackering, and perhaps a groat or two for dicing—ifin he could filch the money without the master knowing it. Marry, Mackering had eyes in the back of his head—always seemed to know which of his men was stealing from him. Dangerous it was to cheat the master.
Mudd felt in his other pocket for the pint of spirits. A necessity—a goodly bribe that caused the head of the watchman to turn in the other direction. Whittled cows, the watchmen were—all of them. In case the booze was less than persuasive, the dagger hidden in the waistband of his galley slops would convince the most mulish of constables to get him hence.
Walking a few more blocks, Mudd heard raucous laughter coming from the inside of another alehouse—the Greenhouse Inn. He stopped. Hidden by shadows, he peered through the red lattice of the inn’s window. Twas a bonny tavern that would serve