Sitting heavily on a bench seat in the hall, my new client yanked off his boots. My gaze, however, was roaming around the areas of the house that I could see from the hallway. This was most definitely not going to be a five-minute job. Unfortunately. Because if first impressions were anything to go by, I was keen to spend the least amount of time possible with my new client.
‘You didn’t answer me earlier.’ The soft Irish accent did nothing to hide the abruptness of his manner.
I frowned.
‘Why you’re actually here? I left Janey a message to tell you that I was running late and wouldn’t be able to make it. I assumed she’d pass it on to you.’
‘When did you call her?’
‘About an hour ago.’
‘She would already have been in yoga class by then. It has a strict policy of requiring all mobiles to be switched off.’
This time it was his turn to frown.
‘I thought she said something about knowing you from that class. Don’t you two go to yoga together.’
‘Yes, we do. Ordinarily.’
I saw the penny drop.
‘Right.’ He stood.
Great. No apology for making me miss my class either. If this all proceeded, I was seriously tempted to shift him to my assistant. I’d dealt with enough ‘challenging’ clients in my time, and it would be good practice for her to take O’Farrell on. Mind you, Bernice was adorably cute and an absolute sweetie so in all probability would have him eating out of her hand within ten minutes. And that was fine too. Just so long as I didn’t have to deal with him.
He unzipped the top of his leathers and began wrestling the upper half off his shoulders.
‘Just so you know, Miss Stone. None of this was my idea. I have absolutely no wish for you to come into my home and start poking about, faffing and cleaning up. I’m more than happy with things just the way they are.’
Sorry Janey, but enough’s enough. I wasn’t prepared to waste my or my assistant’s time with someone who clearly wasn’t going to even try.
‘Mr O’Farrell. I do not specialise in “faffing” or “poking about”. Neither am I a cleaner. But I suspect you’re already aware of all that. Clearly you have no interest in my services and, as such, I think it’s probably best if we discontinue now in order to prevent either of us wasting any more time. If you could call your sister and explain the situation that would be most helpful. Goodnight.’
I turned and took the few steps back to the door, my hand upon the catch.
‘Wait,’ he called as a phone began to ring, its tone muffled. Digging into the rucksack he’d been wearing on the bike, he yanked a mobile out and looked at the screen.
‘Shit.’ Michael took a deep breath and answered. ‘Hi Janey.’ His eyes focused on his socked feet as he listened, his gaze raising only briefly to glance over at me. ‘Yes, she’s still here…No, I…Of course I do…Fine, hang on a minute.’ He looked back at me and held out the phone. ‘My sister would like to talk to you.’
I hesitated. What was the most polite way of telling my best friend that her brother was a rude and arrogant dick who has no appreciation or respect for what I do, and no inclination to be helped anyway?
I took the phone. ‘Hi Janey. How – ’
‘I am sooooo sorry!’ Janey interrupted. ‘I just got the message on my phone that he was going to be late. I can’t believe it! He promised me and I know you went out of your way to be there tonight. I love him and everything, of course, but Jesus, he really can come across as an arrogant shit sometimes. I know he’s just trying to get out of doing it all.’
‘It’s fine. Don’t worry. We’ve consensually decided that perhaps this isn’t the right thing for – ’
‘No! No, no no! You have to stay! Please!’
‘Janey. It really only works if the person involved wants it to. Otherwise everything will go back to how it was within weeks, which is just a waste of time for everyone involved. Not to mention a waste of money.’
‘Wait. Don’t leave yet. OK? Promise?’
I paused.
‘Please, Kate. It’s really important. He needs this.’ Her voice was softer now.
‘OK. Fine. As it’s you.’
‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. Right. Now, can you pass the phone back to my dick of a brother?’ Her voice was louder again now and from the look on his face, Michael heard the comment. Which was good news for me as it meant I didn’t have to find a way to tell Janey any of that stuff after all. She was clearly already aware. He held out one large hand which I put the phone in. He lifted the mobile back to his ear.
‘Yes. No. I know. Yes. Yes, I promise. OK. What? No, you don’t need…fine. Here…’ He stabbed at his phone and Janey’s voice came out on speaker.
‘Is it on speaker?’
‘Yes.’
I felt bad that I was perversely enjoying seeing this rude, arrogant man getting bossed about by his little sister. But then I looked down and saw my soaked, numb feet, and remembered how cold I was, and miraculously, all traces of guilt disappeared instantaneously.
‘Kate, can you hear me?’
‘Yes, Janey.’
‘Right. Good. Now Michael, we discussed all this. Your house is a bloody tip and your life’s not much better.’
‘My life is just fine.’
‘No, it’s not. And don’t interrupt. You agreed to host Christmas this year– ’
‘Actually, I was just outvoted, if you remember.’
‘Because we’ve all taken plenty of turns in doing it and you never have!’
‘That’s because I wasn’t in the country most of the time.’
‘Yes. Well. Nobody forced you to jet off every year instead of spending time with the family.’
‘Janey. You know that it wasn’t as simple as that. And could we please not discuss family matters in front of strangers?’
‘Oh shush. Katie’s not a stranger. She’s a very good friend – ’
‘To you.’
‘Yes. To me. And because she is such a very good friend to me, she’s agreed to help you, you great lummox. So wind your neck in and start taking this seriously. You need to start getting your life back in order and find your way back to being the happy bloke you used to be. And believe me, Kate is your best chance at doing that.’
‘Really.’ He was clearly still unconvinced. It was the one thing we appeared to agree on.
‘Yes, really. We’re fed up of watching you work yourself into the ground, surrounded by all that crap. You’ve got a lovely house there but you wouldn’t know it because of the state it’s in! How on earth are you ever going to meet anyone else if you can’t bring them home?’
‘I’m not particularly interested in meeting anyone else. And when I do bring a woman home, it’s not exactly