Rafael had picked up the phone and punched in the number for Caverness a hundred times over, but fear had stilled his hand. What could he offer Simone? Another night?
It wouldn’t be enough for him.
Time shoehorned in between his commitments and hers?
His current commitments now spanned two countries and a small territory. Simone’s covered all of Europe. Maybe if both parties were willing to juggle their schedules a little they might be able to manage a week here and there.
It still wouldn’t be enough for him, but it’d be a start.
And then he would think back to those last raw words he’d thrown at her before she’d walked out of the Sydney restaurant and knew himself a fool for thinking that Simone would ever want any kind of relationship with him at all after all he’d said and done.
She wouldn’t.
All she would want was his apology. He owed her that much at the very least, and he should have made it weeks ago, months ago, for the longer he left it, the harder it got.
I’m sorry for the things I said.
That was the start of it. That was the easy bit.
If there was a woman in my life I could trust, I think it would be you.
If.
Was that an apology? He didn’t know. He didn’t think so.
The sun beat down on his back through the thin cotton of his shirt. Sweat slicked his skin from the effort of having taken to row upon row of hard and stony soil with a pickaxe. The gardeners had tried to stop him doing any of the physical restoration work when he’d first hoisted a shovel. Apparently princes of the realm did not labour like dogs beneath the fierce Maracey sun—even bastard ones.
They’d learned soon enough to leave this bastard alone when he was driving out his demons.
His mobile buzzed from amongst the assortment of tools in the wheelbarrow. Downing pickaxe, Rafe headed for it, his aching shoulders grateful for the reprieve, but as was the way of electronic devices, the buzzing had stopped by the time he reached it.
He wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone anyway.
Rafael reached for the water bottle he’d brought with him to the vines and opened it and quenched his thirst. Rosa the housekeeper would have a fit if she saw him. Apparently bastard princes didn’t fill up empty plastic water containers from the nearest tap, shove the bottle in the wheelbarrow, and drink it lukewarm as the impulse arose. Apparently they called the kitchen and left a request and someone brought a frosty glass of iced water out to him on a tray.
Rafe smirked briefly at the memory of Rosa explaining the procedure to him. He followed the memory with another long swig from the water bottle. He really wasn’t that kind of prince.
The phone beeped again, short and sharp, signalling the presence of a message. Rafe capped the water bottle and put it down, picked the phone up and retrieved the message.
‘Rafe, it’s Gabrielle,’ said the voice. ‘I’m going to ring you again in two minutes’ time and this time I expect you to answer your phone. I mean it, Rafael. You really shouldn’t antagonise a woman in my condition. It’s not good for the baby.’
Rafael grinned widely as he deleted the message. The phone rang again immediately. Same number. Impatient sister. This time he answered it. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you,’ she said magnanimously. ‘Are you going to screen all your calls now you’re a prince of the realm, or is it just the ones coming in from Caverness?’
‘I’m well, thanks,’ he said dryly. ‘Kind of you to ask.’
‘You even speak like a prince,’ she muttered. ‘Get out. Get out now.’
‘When’s your baby due?’
‘In approximately seven months, two weeks and three days’ time. Not that I’m counting.’
‘I expect regular updates,’ he said as he stared out over the wild Maracey valley. Gabrielle had warned him that there would be children. He was happy for her.
‘How’s the vineyard restoration going?’ she said.
‘The vineyard’s a mess,’ he said, looking around it.
‘And the prince thing?’
‘An even bigger ask.’
Gabrielle sighed. ‘The thing is, when I look at you I can see why Etienne came for you. I know you can do the things he asks of you. So does Etienne, I suspect. The thing is, will you?’
‘Is this a rhetorical question?’
‘Possibly. But feel free to answer it anyway. I’m curious.’
‘I don’t know what I plan to do,’ he admitted. ‘I haven’t made up my mind yet.’
‘Are you happy there?’
He didn’t know the answer to that question either. ‘Sometimes.’
Gabrielle sighed again. ‘Will you come and visit me soon?’
‘Yes.’ Finally a question that didn’t require major contemplation.
‘At Caverness?’
Rafael hesitated.
‘Or if not Caverness, you could stay at Hammerschmidt. The vineyard restoration is coming together beautifully, and we’re aiming to have most of the house restoration complete by the time the baby comes. Luc and I have decided to raise our family there. It’s different now, Rafael,’ said Gabrielle softly. ‘Champagne. The village. Even Caverness. Just come. Come now.’
‘Soon,’ he countered. He knew it was time. Ready or not, he had to see Simone again and deliver his apology. ‘How’s Simone?’ he asked gruffly.
‘Rafe…’ she said, and something in Gabrielle’s voice had every muscle in his body tensing. ‘There’s something I have to tell you. About Simone.’
‘Is she ill?’ he asked sharply.
‘No. Not exactly. Rafe…’ He could hear Gabrielle’s struggle to find the right words. She really didn’t want to deliver this news.
‘Just say it,’ he said.
‘I’m not the only one who’s expecting a baby around here, Rafael. Simone’s pregnant too.’
The view shimmered before clicking back into focus. Once. Twice. Like reality gone wrong. ‘Who’s the father?’
‘She doesn’t say.’
The next question lodged in his throat, as if by holding it back he could put a brake on where his thoughts might take him, but they were already there and he had to know. ‘When’s it due?’
‘Around the same date as mine. Rafael—’
‘Stop,’ he whispered.
‘Rafael, I’ve never seen Simone so broken. She doesn’t eat, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t even attend to her work. She just sits in the gardens of Caverness, and it’s almost as if she doesn’t even know that she’s there. As if she’s lost and can’t find her way home.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’ He knew why. Heaven help him, he knew why.
‘Because I love her. And because I think she loves you and is carrying your child and you don’t even know it.’
Rafael closed his eyes and forced air into his lungs. He didn’t know how much more he could take of this. Any of it.