But the news of the existence of a love child certainly did raise the chance of the press hounding him. He was obviously worried Holly would exploit the situation—dish the dirt on him or make things look salacious between him and her. She might like to rattle his chain for a bit of fun but there was no way she would take her games into the public sphere. She didn’t want her stepfather to know where she was. If she drew attention to herself by speaking to the press, who knew what would happen.
Holly wandered along the corridor past the library on her way to her room. The door was slightly ajar and the room was in darkness except for the moonlight shining through the waist-high window. One of the windows must have been mistakenly left open for she could see one of the sheer curtains fluttering on the light breeze coming from outside. She considered leaving it but then remembered Sophia was tucked up in bed upstairs. It would be a shame if it rained overnight and some of those precious books nearest the window were damaged.
Holly moved over to the window without bothering to turn on the light, as the moonlight was like a silver beam across the floor. She closed the window and straightened the breeze-ruffled curtain. She stood there for a long moment looking out at the moonlit gardens and fields beyond. It was such a beautiful property. So peaceful and isolated. There wasn’t a neighbour for miles. No wonder Julius loved working and living here. She had spent most of her life in cramped flats in multi-storey buildings with the roar of traffic below and the sound of neighbours packed in on every side. But here it was so serene and peaceful she could hear frogs croaking and owls hooting. It was like listening to a night orchestra. The moonlight cast everything in an opalescent glow that gave the gardens a magical, storybook quality.
It was only when Holly turned around to leave that she saw the silent, seated figure behind the large mahogany leather-topped desk. ‘Oh, sorry,’ she said, somehow managing to smother her startled gasp. ‘I didn’t see you there. The light wasn’t on so I thought someone must’ve left the window open. It looks like we could get a storm so I thought I’d better shut it since Sophia’s gone to bed.’ Shut up. You’re gabbling.
Julius’s leather chair creaked in protest as he rose from behind the desk. ‘I’m sorry for giving you a fright.’
‘You didn’t,’ Holly said then, seeing the wry lift of one of his eyebrows added, ‘well, maybe a little. Why didn’t you say something? Why are you sitting here in the dark?’
‘I was thinking.’
‘About your family...um...situation?’
‘I was thinking about you, actually.’
Her heart gave a stumble. ‘Me?’ His eyes went to her arms. ‘Oh. Well, you said sorry, so it’s all good.’
His frowning gaze meshed with hers. ‘How can you be so casual about something so serious? I hurt you, Holly. I physically hurt you.’
‘You didn’t mean to,’ Holly said. ‘Anyway, it was probably my fault for stirring you up.’
‘That’s no excuse,’ he said. ‘It shouldn’t matter how much provocation a man receives. No man should ever use physical force. I can never forgive myself for that. I’m disgusted with myself. Truly disgusted.’
Holly rolled her lips together for a moment. ‘I’ve not been the easiest house guest.’
A host of emotions flickered over his face. Emotions she suspected he wasn’t used to feeling. It was there in the dark blue of his eyes. It was in the thinned-out line of his sculptured mouth. ‘You don’t have to be anything but yourself,’ he said in a husky tone. ‘You’re fine just the way you are.’
No one had ever accepted her for who she was. Why would they? She wasn’t the sort of person people found acceptable. If it wasn’t her background, then it was her behaviour. She rubbed people up the wrong way. How could he say she was fine the way she was? She wasn’t fine with the way she was.
‘So, how are things with your family?’ Holly said to fill the heavy silence.
He turned away as he pushed a hand through his hair. ‘I haven’t been able to contact my sister. The legitimate one, I mean.’
‘You’re worried about her?’
‘A little.’
Holly couldn’t help feeling a little envious of Miranda Ravensdale. How wonderful to have a big brother to watch out for you. Two, in fact. Not that she knew if Julius’s twin brother, Jake, had the same protective qualities as Julius. She got the impression Jake was a bit of a lad about town.
‘Maybe her phone is flat, or she’s turned it off or something,’ she said.
‘Maybe.’
Another silence ticked past.
‘Oh, well, then,’ Holly said, making a step towards the door. ‘I’d better let you get on with it.’
‘Holly.’
She turned and looked at him. ‘Would you like me to get you a coffee? A night cap or something? Since Sophia’s off-duty you’ll have to put up with me doing the housekeeper stuff.’
His dark eyes moved over her face, centred on her mouth and then came back to her gaze. ‘Only if you’ll have one with me.’
Holly chewed the inside of her mouth. She didn’t trust herself around him. He was dangerous in this gentle and reflective mood. Keeping her game face on was easy when he was being sarcastic and cynical towards her. But this was different. ‘It’s a bit late at night for me to drink coffee, and since I don’t drink alcohol I’d be pretty boring company...’
His mouth twisted ruefully. ‘I suppose I deserve that brush off, don’t I?’
‘I’m not brushing you off. If I were brushing you off then you’d know about it, let me tell you,’ she said. ‘I’m not the sort of person to hand out a parachute for anyone’s ego.’
He gave a soft laugh, the low, deep sound doing something odd and ticklish to the base of Holly’s spine. ‘That I can believe.’
There was another beat of silence.
‘What would you do if you found out you had a half-sibling?’ he asked.
Holly shifted her lips from side to side as she thought about it. ‘I would definitely want to meet him or her. I’ve always wanted a sister or brother. It would’ve come in handy to have someone to stick up for me.’
He studied her for a long moment. The low light didn’t take anything away from his handsome features. If anything, it highlighted them. The aristocratic landscape of his face reminded her of a hero out of a nineteenth-century novel. Dark and brooding; aloof and unknowable.
‘Things were pretty tough for you as a kid, weren’t they?’
Holly moved her gaze out of reach of his. ‘I don’t like talking about it.’
‘Talking sometimes helps people to understand you a little better.’
‘Yeah, well, if people don’t like me at “hello” then how is telling them all about my messed-up childhood going to change their opinion?’
‘Perhaps if you worked on your first impressions you might win a few friends on your side.’
Holly thought of how she’d stomped into his office that morning—had it really only been a day?—with her verbal artillery blazing. She’d put him on the back foot at the outset. But she’d been angry and churned up over everything. Her forthrightness had been automatic. She liked to get in first before people took advantage. ‘I could’ve come in and been polite as anything but you’d already made up your mind about me. You’d heard about my criminal behaviour. Nothing I could’ve said or done would’ve