Do not let go.
Hold on. Keep your head. Close your senses to the woman lying beneath you. This was only normal pleasure, nothing special. It meant nothing.
Nothing at all.
His resolve teetered when her fingers burrowed into his hair and he found her wide-eyed stare, full of wonder, piercing straight through him.
He shifted his position slightly and upped the pace, then screwed his eyes tightly shut and banished the sight of her open-mouthed sighs from his retinas.
But he couldn’t banish the sighs from his ears. They deepened, becoming moans. The hand tracing marks up and down his back tightened around him, the fingers burrowed in his hair grabbing as she crushed herself to him, limbs wrapped tightly around him as if she were melding herself to become a part of him.
He felt her climax as powerfully as if it belonged to him. It gripped him and pulled at him, winding him tighter and tighter...
The sensations were...
Incredible.
Dios, this was like nothing he had ever felt before, stronger and deeper than even their first time together.
He was starting to float, the void right there before him, ready to swallow him into its dangerous depths...
Right before he could fall into it, sanity found its way to him. Clenching his jaw so tightly that only the slightest extra pressure would see it snap, Javier turned his face from Sophie and forced his eyes open.
His gaze burning a hole in the wall, his attention wrenched far from the woman coming undone in his arms, he accepted the rush of his own, determinedly unremarkable release.
It was over.
When he was certain Sophie had taken all the pleasure she could, he let out a breath and rolled off her onto his back.
He swallowed hard, his gaze now fixed on the ceiling, and braced himself for her to say something.
For a long period of time the only sounds in his bedroom were their breaths, both ragged.
There was light movement beside him, the shifting of air...
He turned his head to see her slip into the bathroom.
She locked the door behind her.
SOPHIE SOAKED IN the bath she’d rerun for herself until the water went cold and her toes had turned into prunes.
She did not want to go back into the bedroom and face Javier’s cold shoulder.
What they had shared had been wonderful. It had also been awful.
His distance had made it awful.
Where she should be bathing in a heady glow at all the wonderful sensations and feelings that had erupted in her, all she wanted was to crawl under a rock and bawl her eyes out.
Javier had committed himself with his body but the part that really mattered, the heartfelt connection she hadn’t realised she craved until it had been denied her, had not been there and that had been deliberate, she was certain of it.
She did not deny that he’d been generous in his attention to her. In that respect it had been glorious but she could savour none of it because it all felt tainted.
Would he have held back so absolutely from Freya...?
She pulled at her hair and stifled a scream.
Comparing herself would do her no favours. Freya was incomparable. She always had been.
After she’d brushed her teeth and pulled her old, comfortable pyjamas on, Sophie felt better in herself, better enough to deal with the silence that would be waiting for her in the bedroom.
She rubbed her stomach and made a promise to their child that she would not admit defeat. They’d been married only half a day!
She was expecting too much from him.
She was suffering a severe case of reality trumping expectations when she should be rejoicing that she’d broken enough of his barriers for him to share their bed as it should be shared, not whinging that he hadn’t stared deep into her eyes and declared his undying love.
Whoa!
Her hand was on the door as that thought went through her head.
She walked back to the small shaving mirror and stared at her reflection sternly.
Stop thinking, she told it. You knew the man you were committing to was an emotionless control freak, so stop being surprised when he acts like an emotionless control freak and don’t give even a passing thought to love. It’s not going to happen. Javier’s incapable of love and you’re not stupid enough to fall for the man who threw you out of his home after taking your virginity and then forgot all about you.
Rolling her shoulders, Sophie tucked her hair behind her ears and walked back into the bedroom.
Her resolution almost faltered to find the bedside light still on and Javier lying in bed, an arm crooked on the pillow above his head, the sheets pulled up to his waist.
His eyes were open.
He didn’t say anything, just watched her pad to the bed.
She was glad of her pyjamas. It meant he couldn’t see her shaking knees.
She climbed onto the bed and crossed her legs, facing him.
It warmed her that his returning stare was curious rather than hostile or indifferent.
A bubble of laughter flew up her throat that she only just managed to stop from escaping, but it wasn’t the laughter of amusement, only the laughter of sadness.
She guessed he’d prepared himself for histrionics from her.
Did her calmness relieve or disappoint him?
She pulled at a loose thread at the ankle of her pyjama bottoms and, in as casual a tone as she could muster, asked, ‘What happened with Benjamin to make him hate you so much?’
His features darkened, just as she’d known they would.
This was a conversation they needed to have. Why not have it now, when they were both awake and alone?
Better to talk than lie in silence with only her thoughts.
‘That is none of your business.’
She’d expected the brusqueness of his reply. ‘I’m your wife. Like it or not, that means your business is now my business.’
He laughed mirthlessly. ‘That didn’t take long.’
‘What didn’t?’
‘For you to assert your wifely rights.’
‘It’s going to come out, you know that, surely? The world knows you and Luis took out an injunction on Benjamin and sooner or later some journalist or other will find the details and publish them.’
‘Nothing can be published. The injunction prevents it.’
‘It can in America. Do you want me to hear it from the press or from yourself? Or shall I ask Freya?’
‘You are to have nothing to do with her.’
‘Javier...’ She sighed at his bullishness. ‘Freya’s the reason I’m asking you this. You read the messages she sent me. Whatever she believes you did, she hates you for it. Whatever went wrong between you and Benjamin, I would rather hear your side first before anyone else’s.’
‘My side?’ he asked in that all too familiar dangerous tone.
‘It will be different